


Where We Are Now (Raph x Reader)

by Rotten_Roses



Category: TMNT - Fandom, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Awkward Flirting, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canonical Character Death, Comedy, Depersonalization, Dissociation, F/M, Fighting, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Human Donnie, Human Leonardo, Human Mikey, Human Raphael, Human turtles, Illness, Im trying to flesh out the reader as we go, Martial Arts, Pranks, Reader-Insert, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Swearing, TMNT, Turtle Tots, anxiety attack, human!turtles, jealous!Raph, reader-is-love-interest, reader-is-sick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-15 10:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 59,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9230966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rotten_Roses/pseuds/Rotten_Roses
Summary: The reader has been overseas training around the world for years and when they finally come home to New York City, they're in more trouble than they can imagine! A slow building story about your relationship with Raph. If you want to get straight to the romance, skip to chapter 3. Meant to be TMNT 2012 but feel free to imagine whatever! The story starts in the middle of season two, which is when I started writing it before setting it down for awhile.





	1. You Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How you first meet the hero in red. Not a lot of romance in this chapter, I want to build the relationship first! If you want romance skip to chapter three.

I walked in NYC, missing my friend April, recently she'd gone missing and just as I gotten back home too. I was still on my training trip in the Himalayan Mountains when I heard her dad had gone missing. I felt bad for her as we've been friends for quite a while and had met her dad several times. It's obvious they had a good relationship. Poor April, she was devastated. I remember reading the letter she sent about what happened. There were water marks on it, as if someone had been crying while writing it. 

 

Why did bad things happen to good people? I sighed and put up my hood to cover my hair; I had just dried it and didn't want it to get frizzy because of the humidity and rain. I began thinking about my trip, it was fun, but a lot of hard work and my "condition" didn't help at all during those tough days. I went around to different countries studying different forms of martial arts with my father and competing in tournaments. I was really good at Muay Thai, a form of kick boxing using the elbows and knees frequently. I enjoyed learning other types but, Muay Thai is definitely my favorite. I had studied karate, taekwondo, kickboxing, regular boxing, and many other martial arts. Along with that I had to run several miles a day and sprint for at least 500m of it. So yea, I felt pretty safe wandering New York City by myself. If I couldn't fight them I could outrun them.

 

I let my mind wander as I roamed the streets. I started school soon but didn't want to, I was 16 but I already had all the education I needed, my father hired a tutor to travel with us and he did NOT go easy on me, despite the long and tiring hours I spent training. That cold-hearted bastard, I hope he burned in hell. He graded harshly and with had no mercy for my poor spelling at the age of 10. I spelled one word wrong and BAM! Automatic 10 points off. Now if you asked me to I could spell to you almost any word, AND tell you what origin it was. It's a pretty useless talent if you ask me. I also could tell you every chemical in the human body, as well as do a college math problem in my head fairly quickly. More useless talents. World History and Language were the only courses I liked. Language was interesting because you could speak to other people and the amount of people you could converse with rose as you learned more and more. Normally I'd learn the language of the place we were in for how long we were there. But first the bastard made me learn Latin, one of the hardest languages to learn. But I have to admit, it does help learn tons of other languages considering it is the root of all languages. History was fun as I learned about great people who helped lead revolutions, stop wars, and started different ideas. I have to admit, I liked learning about Buddhism, but the whole "no fighting" thing was definitely not going to work for me.

My Dad was the one who first got me into martial arts. He used to have a dojo in the city but it sunk under when my mom passed away. We were homeless for a little while then my dad had the opportunity to fight in a martial arts competition and won. He kept winning and we finally had enough to get an apartment. By then I was ten.

 

I was finally returned to reality when I spotted some familiar ginger hair. I began to follow her, realizing it was April. What was she doing roaming freely? I thought she was missing! She looked behind herself frequently, didn't she recognize me? Soon I saw her pull out her phone and call someone. Her whole body language screamed nervous and scared, very un-April like. Soon she began to jog, or maybe that was her sprint, I wasn't too sure but I followed after her, keeping a steady pace. I ran in front of her to grab her. The single most unholy noise came from her mouth so I covered her mouth and ran, I would save her from her kidnappers but my lord she needed to stay quiet.

 

I was about to stop and tell her it's just me but something small and sharp flew past my face and stopping me from going any farther. I saw it was a ninja star. "What the hell...." I murmured. I noticed April was struggling, I knew I needed to reveal myself soon, but now her attackers had caught up! I started to run again but 4 people were in my way. I stopped and let April down; I couldn't fight with her in my arms. For some reason she ran to one of the figures. Okay. They definitely weren't kidnappers, "What do you want with April!" one of them yelled to me. As they walked into the light, I could see them better. I realized that it was some weirdo in a turtle costume, wearing a blue bandanna. The costume wasn't bad either. It would've had me except turtles don't become humanoid. The blue bandanna asked me again, "Why are you following our friend! Are you teamed up with Shredder?!" I just stared at him, who was Shredder? I opened my mouth to explain the situation when another one of them whizzed by me and stood behind me. Bad move.

 

By instinct I body flipped him and then twisted his arm painfully behind his back. I heard the orange bandana cry out in pain, "Mikey!" The one in purple yelled. April watched him run towards me with his staff. He leapt into the air and was going to bring his staff down on my head, but I ran forward and somersaulted under him as he jumped. I saw the confused look on his face right before I got up and grabbed him by the neck and bashed his face into the cement several times. His mistake was not getting up right away and staying crouched for a second too long. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and rip me away.

 

Whipping around I took a boxing stance and began punching the guy in the face, gaining ground and finally I kicked him away. The blue bandana went flying, surprised. The red one was the only one left, but I could see the others beginning to stir. The red one got out two sai blades and ran at me yelling like a maniac. He swiped and stabbed as I dodged, he was a little stronger than the rest of them so I actually had to try not to get knifed. I saw something orange run past me and felt something cold wrap around my ankle. My eyes widened as I felt a sharp tug and fell, my hood falling to reveal my face. How was that still up anyway? I heard April gasp and yell something to her guard dogs, hopefully for them to lay off ‘cause I was starting to get pis-. My thought were interrupted as I felt a sharp stab in my stomach and then across my leg. All I remember is April screaming at red bandanna and everything going black as I rapidly lost blood.

 

~~~~APRIL' P.O.V. ~~~~

I screamed for them to stop when I realized who it was fighting the turtles. Raphael must not have heard me since he stabbed her. "RAPH! What part of don't hurt her don't you get!"

 

"The ‘don't hurt her part’." I groaned, how could he be so incompetent!

 

Michelangelo went over to her unconscious body and said, "Woah, dude is a dudette..." I ignored him.

 

Donnie got up and walked over holding his head. She had really done a number on him when she bashed his head into the pavement. I was worried he might even have a concussion! "April you know this psycho?" I shot him a glare and he cringed.

 

"She's a good friend." I mumbled and looked back at her unconscious body.

 

"Yea, such a good friend you called us begging for help, since she was stalking you." Raph didn’t look amused, standing with his arms crossed and glaring down at her.

 

"I couldn't see her face...." I told them meekly,

 

"What do we do with her now?" Mikey asked.

 

"We need to take her to the lair. I know Master Splinter won't be happy, but we have no other option, I don't know where she lives and she's bleeding badly...." I looked at her body and panic spread through me like ice. She was bleeding out fast! "We need to go. Now!"

 

"April's right, and Raph since you did the stabbing, you get to carry her back." Leo said.

 

Raph groaned, "Fine," he said, grumbling and picked up her body. We ran back to the lair.

 

~~~~ NORMAL P.O.V. ~~~~

I woke up to an unfamiliar room. I was on a sofa of some sort and the room smelled slightly of sewage, not too strongly or I might have gagged. Looking around I saw a T.V. across from me and, what I assumed, was the exit to this place. I tried to sit up and felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I decided getting up wasn't a good idea. I laid back down and let the events of last night play through my mind. Oh yea... I was stabbed by the red weirdo in a turtle costume. The thought that my attacker could be here worried me so I ignored the pain as I got up and I headed for the exit. Suddenly the light turned on behind me and red was there. He looked at me and took a step towards me, getting close enough that I could punch him, so I did. He held his cheek where I punched him. "JESUS CHRIST, " he yelled, " WASN'T HURTING ME YESTERDAY ENOUGH FOR YOU!" I kicked him in the side which made me wince and he growled. All of a sudden 4 other people were in the room, one of them April, actually she's the only face I recognized.

 

I immediately ran to her and hugged her. "April! Where am I!"

 

"Well-"

 

"Who are these weirdos!"

 

"Hey!" They yelled in unison.

She looked down at my stomach which must've been bleeding as she sat me on the couch and got out a first aid kit.

 

"I can do that myself you know," I told her.

 

"Just shut up and let me explain." I raised an eyebrow and lifted my shirt so she could replace the bandages already there. "Well, the one with the red mask is Raphael," crazy stabby guy, " the one with blue is Leonardo, the one with the purple mask is Donatello," At the mention of his name he turned slightly red. Aw yea, he definitely had the hots for April. When I fought him earlier she ran to him and he had a similar expression. She continued, "and the one with the orange mask is Michelangelo." I realized they all were named after famous artists, which was kind of cool. She finished my bandages and stood up, "Any other questions?" 

 

"Uh, yea. Where am I? Why are you guys wearing costumes? And who's this Shredder person?"

 

The orange one, Michelangelo, answered my first question, "You're in the T.L." The T.L.? “

 

“The Turtle Lair dude! Our super awesome secret hideout full of gadgets and gizmo, super-duper awesome fights, and of course the best skate park!”

 

Donatello shook his head, "He means our lair, and this is our home. And these aren't costumes. We're actually turtles."

 

I nodded, "Sure, sure, and I'm a mutant monkey." I rolled my eyes, "I'm not dumb. Turtles don't get this big."

 

"They're not joking," I looked at her quizzically.

 

"We're mutants," Stabby pants told me.

 

"Oh...." Well this just got weird fast.

 

"Just, 'Oh'? No screaming or freaking out?" Leo asked. Oh yea, I totally was, but only on the inside.

 

"Nah, I've seen some freaky stuff in my lifetime, so this is pretty low for me on the freak out scale." I lied to them, trying to keep calm.

 

"Oh." He said. Was he disappointed? As the awkward silence continued I remember the blue one- I mean Leonardo, asked if I was with Shredder. Who is that? Better to ask now rather than later.

 

"So who's Shredder?" I listened as they explained who he is and what he's done. By the end I didn't have a very good impression of him. "He doesn't seem like a very good guy. Neither do his cronies and these weird brain aliens.”

"They’re not," they all said at once. After yet another moment of silence, Donatello spoke.

 

"So, uh, why did you kidnap April?"

 

"Yea, I was wondering that too..." said Michelangelo.

 

I smiled sheepishly, "Well, you see, April had been considered missing for a few weeks now so when I saw her I thought she was escaping from her kidnappers. I thought I could help her escape faster if I "helped" her. Turns out she was just hiding from that Shredder guy and the alien things..."

 

"I thought you were a stalker.... and a guy..." April said. Fucking. Christ.

 

"Gee, thanks O'Neil, I love looking like a dude, ya know?" I smiled as I said this annoyance spreading through me.

 

"Actually, I was surprised you were a dudette and not a dude," said Michelangelo.

 

Leonardo nodded, "You fight well, so I guess we immediately thought you were a guy." The others nodded in agreement. I felt myself growing angrier. April realized I was getting annoyed. It wasn't my fault the sweatshirt’s baggy. And besides girls can fight too! Just because guys are usually the ones into martial arts doesn't mean we don't fight well! I was about to say something about that when April interjected. She must've known I was getting angry.

 

"B-but once I saw your beautiful face I knew it was you," she said in an attempt to redeem herself.

 

I rolled my eyes at that and mumbled, "Yea. Better start sucking up to me." At that she left to god knows where and left me alone with these weird turtles.

 

I sighed and Leo asked, "So, you know who we are now, but who are you?" Oh, I never realized they didn't know my name. I assumed April told them.... guess not.

 

"My names (y/n), (y/n) Timber. My friends call me Cas though." I told them tucking a loose piece of my hair behind my ear.

 

“Why do they call you that?”

 

April spoke up, “Well when we were little she would creep around and scare people, like a ghost. But she’d always feel bad and try and make it up to the other kids so we started calling her Casper the friendly ghost, which was then shortened to Cas.” I nodded to confirm.

 

"So where'd you learn to fight?" Donnie asked.

 

"Hey, why'd you twist my arm like that earlier. It really hurt..." Michelangelo said.

 

"And you bashed my face in the pavement..."

 

"And sent me into a wall."

 

"Let's not forget you just punched me in the face and kicked me in the side,"

 

I stared at them, then pointed to Michelangelo. "You crept up behind me and it was an automatic reaction, after that... well, I was kind of defending myself then. And stabby-"

 

"It’s Raph!"

 

I nodded, "Right, I didn't know you and all I knew was that you stabbed me, so I attacked you." I said all of this then smiled apologetically. "I'm very sorry if I hurt any of you." They looked at me surprised, what did they expect me to say, sucks to suck? Jeez, I'm not heartless, I do feel bad about beating up the people who helped me. They could've just left me on the street, I doubt April would let them but still. I thought I should thank them too so I did. "And thanks for not leaving me to bleed out and die on the street."

 

They nodded and mumbled things which I assume was they accepted my apology and Michelangelo sat on the floor in front of me, "So where'd you learn to fight?" He asked. Oh yea I never answered that question earlier.

 

"Well, I've been traveling with my dad around the world learning different martial arts."

 

"I noticed you use your knees and elbows a lot." Leonardo said, I nodded.

 

"It's called Muay Thai, or Thai Kickboxing, it specializes in using the knees and elbows, two of the hardest parts of a body, to strike blows on your opponent."

 

"And what was that when you punched me in the face and kicked me away?"

 

I smirked, "Boxing. What do you guys use?"

 

"Ninjitsu," he answered.

 

"I had a feeling that's what it was, I recognized it from while I was in Japan for a few months."

 

"Woah, you went to Japan!" Michelangelo asked amazed.

 

"Well, yea. And other places too."

 

"Where else?" Donatello questioned sitting next to Michelangelo.

 

I thought for a second then answered, "All over Asia, Europe, Africa, South America, and North America." I watched their eyes widen in surprise.

 

"Wait, so you've been all over the world?" Leonardo asked sitting next to his brothers.

 

"Well.... I haven't been to Hawaii, or Alaska, or some parts of Canada."

 

"Don't forget Iceland." April said sitting next to me. I hadn't noticed her come back, but I appreciated her handing me a mug full of what smelled like hot chocolate.

 

"Oh yea, I haven't been there yet either."

 

"Yea but you've still been everywhere else!" Michelangelo said excitedly. I laughed, this... turtle mutant was easily impressed it seemed.

 

"Yea I guess I have." I took a sip of my hot cocoa. Soon I was bombarded with questions from the three of them. Stabby pants wasn't anywhere around. After a while, I finally asked them a question, "Why are you guys so curious about other places?"

 

"Well..." Leo started.

 

"We've only been around New York City, nowhere else." Donnie explained.

 

"Yea, Splinter was all, you may not go up there, you are too young and inexperienced. But one day he finally let us go topside," Mikey continued. I wondered who this Splinter guy was. Maybe their dad? He must be a huge turtle...

 

"Oh, that makes sense. Have you ever been to the statue of liberty?"

 

Donnie shook his head, "No, we only go topside during the night, it’s too risky if we go during the day. And it’s too far away."

 

I looked at them like they were crazy. "You live in New York City, people are dressed in weird costumes all the time. The most people will think is that you're a group of weirdos."

 

"But who'd actually think we're just in costumes?" Leo asked.

 

"Well, when I first saw you guys I thought you were a group of geeks dressed up as some group from a video game or something." Something moved, catching my eye. It was Raphael, he must've just gotten back from wherever he was hiding out.

 

"The only geek here is Donnie," He said as he walked closer to us.

 

"HEY!" He shouted as the others laughed.

 

April shook her head. "It’s okay Donnie. I don't think you’re a geek." She told him. I noticed the light pink blush on his cheeks as she told him this. Yea, he liked her, it was totally obvious. He couldn’t seem to act normal around her. April noticed my hot cocoa was gone. "I'll go get you more." I smiled and said thanks as she got up and left. I was curious about Donnie and April's relationship so I asked a very simple question.

 

"So Donnie, you like April." Okay, so it was more like a statement. I watched as four heads whipped in my direction. One of them was very red with embarrassment.

 

"N-no I don't!" I raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "Just.... just don't tell her okay?"

 

"I KNEW IT!" I jumped up and immediately regretted the decision, pain shooting through my stomach and I had to sit back down.

 

"Idiot..." I heard Raph murmur.

 

I looked at Donnie and smiled, "I promise I won't tell her."

 

He sighed from relief, "Was it that obvious."

 

"Yes," I and three other voices said at once.

 

Soon April was back with my hot cocoa and I grinned. I didn't mention to Donnie I was pretty sure she liked him back. In one of her letters she wrote to me about a boy around the same age as her. Apparently he had a gap in his teeth that she thought was, "too cute." All of that description matched Donnie, except the gap being cute part... the rest was true though. We were all laughing and talking when I heard a voice speak from behind us.

 

“My sons, what is the meaning of this? You’ve brought another stranger into our home?”

 

“AH! SPLINTER!” Mikey shrieked and stood. His brothers and April quickly followed suit.

 

“S-sensei! We can explain-“Leo started but he was cut off. I was scared so I just sat there perfectly still.

 

“Are you going to introduce me so I can learn about our new friend?” The brothers calmed down a little.

 

“So, um, is that their dad?” I whispered to April. She nodded. I took a deep breath tried to straighten my clothes before I met this giant turtle for the first time. After all, first impressions matter. I finally turned around and boy oh boy, that was definitely not a turtle. The tall rat-man smiled at my shocked expression.

 

“Expecting something else?” I could only nod. He chuckled, “Welcome to my home. I have seen your fights on the over the past few years, it is an honor to meet you.” I blushed from embarrassment and bowed.

 

“No please! The honor is all mine. Anyone who trained these guys deserves my respect.”

 

“Wait, Sensei. How have you been watching her fight?” Leo had asked, but I could tell it was a question on all their minds.

 

“Leonardo, you have watched her fights with me, you and your brothers.” Wait what? They had watched my tournaments? Mikey let out a loud gasp.

 

“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE-YOU’RE”

 

“The Timber Wolf.” Donnie finished his brother’s sentence. He seemed in awe of my nickname. I looked at each of the brothers. Leo stood there with his mouth open, Mikey jumped up and down excitedly, Donnie looked surprised, and Raph? Well he seemed to be rather pale.

 

“Yea. That’s me.” I smiled meekly, so what if I had won the past 2 international no holds barred martial arts world championships, and over 20 various junior tournaments. No big deal right? I was flattered they watched my events.”

 

“I didn’t know you guys watched those too!” April yelled. She always watched my events; even if she was swamped with homework she always made an effort and called me during the commercial break. She helped me get through so many losses earlier on in my career. That’s why I traveled so much. My dad was my manager and originally fought in the adult competitions at the same time I had my junior ones, but now he was running his own business. He makes martial arts videos for YouTube. He took his work wherever the nearest tournament was and had me learn the martial arts on the off season. I had been doing this since my mom died and I wasn’t tired of it yet. I always loved fighting in tournaments, the rush of adrenaline as you sock someone in the jaw was great. The only reason we had come back home was for the tournament nearby and so I could hunt down April. A junior competition for boxing was taking place in a month too.

 

“Raph, how did you not recognize her! You watch her fights more than the rest of us!” Mikey’s screeching brought me back to earth. He watched my tournaments, huh? How cute. I let out a yawn and sipped on my cocoa as I listened to the brothers freaking out and asking me questions.

 

I finished drinking my cocoa I began to get sleepy. I'm guessing April noticed, got the brothers to leave and told me to go to sleep. "Yes mother," I murmured sarcastically and laid back down on the couch, my head on a pillow. April pulled up the blanket I'd kicked down in my previous sleep and shooed the guys away. I was soon fast asleep.


	2. You Awaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some bonding with the turtle stuff, some fluff at the end but next chapter we start the good stuff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (spoilers: its more fluff and romanceeeeee)

I was woken up the next day by someone shaking me.

"Hey, hey, wake upppp!" The voice whined. I mumbled some incoherent nonsense before rolling over and pulling the covers closer to me, only for them to be ripped away! I opened my eyes to glare at whoever dared to disturb my rest. Wait... where am I? The events of the night before came back slowly. I found April, then I was stabbed, then I was brought to meet some ninja turtles and their rat dad/ ninja master. Nothing too crazy. The turtle I was glaring at was the one with the orange bandana, my blanket being held captive by the red one. What were their names? Oh yea, Mikey and stabby- I mean Raph.

"Scoot." I stared at him still half asleep. He groaned and picked me up to move me to the end of the couch. "There you go Mikey, you can watch your dumb show now."

I lazily looked at the T.V, I'm not sure what show this was, but good god the dub was terrible. I watched with Mikey, who was trying to fill me in on the entire first season, until a cup of something hot was put in front of my face along with my meds. 

"Here, it's black tea. I hope you don't mind caffeinated, it's all they have. Oh and your allergy pills," April sat next to me as I gratefully sipped the warm beverage. Caffeine was the only way to wake me up from a deep sleep like that and April knew it. God bless her. She leaned over and whispered, "They haven't been torturing you with this show have they?"

"HEY! This is a great show about teamwork, friendship, and kicking butt!" Mikey defended his show while Raph looked less amused with it.

"What do you usually watch Raph." He turned to me, with a look of surprise. "What? Is something wrong?" 

"Nah, nothings wrong. I don't usually watch crud like this-"

"You're full of lies!" Mikey turned to look at me, "He watches this when I do, he just doesn't like to admit it is all." Raph rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I like to watch MMA fights usually, like the tournaments you compete in." Leo walked in, "Actually, I change my answer, anything but Space Heroes." Leo whipped his head around so quick I thought it might snap off.

"Space heroes-" Raph cut him off.

"Is the best show and blah blah blah, you're gay for Captain Ryan." He smirked at Leo, "Is that what you were about to say?"

Leo looked extremely unamused, "Yep. That's it Raph you guessed it. If you need me I'll be meditating in the dojo."

I adjusted myself on the couch, "So uh, I know at night you guys are outside, but what you do all day?"

"Normally Splinter will train us, or have us fight each other., but since you're here we're taking a break. So I guess I should say thanks dudette!"Mikey would be grinning ear to ear if he had any. Speaking of lack of ears, how do they hear? Are they like dolphins where they just have little holes for ears? I decided to ask Donatello later, he would probably know right? 

"Wait, if you guys are always outside at night and training during the day, when do you sleep?" With the busy schedule they had I couldn't imagine when they'd be able to. Raph answered me.

"We don't." WHAT!!

I guess my expression gave away my disbelief because he continued, "Heh, I'm kidding ya dingus."

MIkey chimed in, "We sleep after patrol or after practice."

"Not enough though," Raph mumbled.

"You're right there bro." Mikey patted his brothers shoulder and April nodded along.

" I don't remember the last time you guys slept more than five hours, and I've lived with you guys for a while!" Five hours! Good lord!

"I need at least twelve to function properly..." They stared at me, "What?"

"We can tell. Mikey had to shake you to wake you up and you were sleeping for two days when I found you yesterday."

"Why do you gotta call me out like that, Raph? A girl needs her beauty sleep okay? It's not my fault that I need a little more than, let's say, April here."

"Oh, (y/n) stop! You're very pretty." The face I made can only be described as, not believing a word of the bullshit out of her mouth. 

"Yea yea O'Neil. You only say that because you signed a contract requiring you to." She looked at me in confusion.

"What contract?"

"The friendship contract you signed legally requiring you to be nice to me." She just laughed and stood up to stretch. 

"I think I'm gonna go for a walk around the sewers to stretch my legs. Anyone want to come with?" 

"I will!" Mikey stood, "I'll grab my board!" He raced off to what I assume was his room to grab his things.

Raph leaned further back into the couch, "I'll pass." I wanted to go! I started to stand up when Donnie came out from behind some giant metal doors.

"(Y/n), I'm gonna take your stitches soon. Mind coming in my lab?" Oh that's where it was then. April gave me an apologetic glance as she and Mikey headed out.

"Sure thing." I went to stand, and almost fell forward, Whoops. Raph scrambled to grab me.

"Jeez! You're gonna give me a heart attack!" He scooped me up bridal style and carried me towards the lab.

"Hey I can walk!"

He snorted. "Apparently not." I felt my face heat up, he's such an asshole! We reached the door to the lab, how was he gonna open it he doesn't have any free hands- holy shit. He moved me from both arms to only holding me in one. Holy shit this guy's strong. I sneaked a peak at his upper arms. Sweet jesus, maybe it's because they're mutants but damn his arms were nice and toned. Maybe from all the workouts they do too? I felt cold metal underneath me, oh! We're in the lab now whoops. I got distracted.

"Thanks," I muttered to Raph. He took a few steps back to get out of his brothers way.

"Alright, I need you to lift your shirt up so I can take out your stitches." I was wearing a sports bra so it was no big deal. I took it off and laid on my side so Donnie could get to them. I looked up and caught Raph staring.

"Admiring your handiwork?" It was a joke but his face turned all red, hah I finally embarrassed him! Taking out the stitches was a quick and relatively painless process. All Donnie had to was cut them then pull them out! It was over in an instant.

"Okay, no sparring for a little while until the wound is almost healed okay? It was a pretty deep cut so it should take a week or so."

"So I'll be able to fight for my tournament right??" 

"Hopefully yea. As long as your wound stays closed."

"Good enough for me!"

And so a week later we were in the dojo. My wound was starting to scab over and the marks from the stitches were completely gone! No swelling, no reopening, nothing. As a result, Splinter asked if I could spar with his sons and teach them some techniques and of course I agreed. I needed to be ready for the tournament and what better way was there than training with four mutant ninja turtles! I stretched myself out, doing the basic stretches like toe touches, the butterfly, etc. I stood up with a sigh. Hands on my hips I asked, "Alright who's first!"

Mikey's hand shot up, "Oh! Oh! Me, me me!" He was waving his arms all around, nearly smacking Raph and Donnie in the face. Grinning at his eagerness I nodded and gestured for him to come to the mat.

"Good luck." I told him. We faced each other waiting for Splinter's signal to begin.

"Hajime!" And with that Mikey raced at me screaming. I sidestepped his first few blows, they were pretty quick but he left openings everywhere! I let him continue his attack for a few more seconds before fighting back. Blocking a final hit, I threw a left hook at him, he screamed as he ducked, causing me to snort. He tried to sweep my legs out from under me but I moved out of the way before he could. While he was still crouched I did a straight kick. I tried to slow it down so I didn't dislocate or break his jaw, but he still went down kind of hard, meaning I won the match. I ran over to make sure he was okay. 

"Mikey?" I reached out to help him up. Why wasn't he responding!? I leaned down close as his brothers started to get worried. 

"THAT WAS AWESOME!" His brothers and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Jeez Mikey! I was worried you were really injured!"

"Huh?" He stood up, "Oh no, I'm fine. But can you teach me how to do that!" I laughed and promised to show him as Leo got on the mat next.

"Don't go too easy on me." He joked, getting into his fighting stance.

"Oh I won't." 

"Hajime!" Leo's style was completely different from Mikey's. Mikey moved quicker, but Leo left no openings. He blocked every punch and ducked every kick. Honestly it was starting to get frustrating so I picked up the intensity, switching to using my elbows and knees instead of just my fists and shins. He maneuvered around me no problem! There was one point he almost had me, he had managed to get behind me and kick my knees out and I almost fell! Instead I used the momentum to summersault away, getting myself back up to standing in time to deliver a spinning back elbow to his torso. He staggered backwards! Using a spinning kick I knocked him onto his butt. YES! I was breathing hard as I helped him up.

"Good match, Leo! You almost had me at one point which is actually kind of impressive." His face tinted red.

"Thanks (y/n)." I needed a breather so I sat down off the mat next to Donnie and Raph who handed me a bottle of water. 

"God bless you Raph."

"Uh, (y/n)?" Donnie spoke up.

"What's up Donnie?"

"Please remember I stitched you up" He said nervously. Were the matches I just ahd with his brothers really that scary?

 

"Don't worry Donnie, I won't break any bones."

"That's not vey reassuring..." He muttered. I chuckled.

"Donnie, if I were you I'd confess to April before your fight." I snorted at Raph's comment. I wouldn't kill his brother, just brutally maim him.

"SHH!" He covered his brothers mouth, but after one look at his older brothers expression he removed his hand pretty quick.

"Dude, she isn't even here, she's in the bathroom." I had seen her get up right after my fight with Leo ended, there's no way she was back. Donnie quickly stood up.

"Then let's get started before she gets back." Wait, did April watching him make him nervous? Aww, how cute!

"I'm back!" The red head came through the sliding doors and sat closest to the mat, and Donnie let out a quiet groan. There goes his plan.

We stood facing each other and I was tempted to let him win, he would look good for April-

"Hajime!" Turns out I actually had to try very hard to not get hit. Donnie's hits were precise and calculated, exactly what one would expect from a genius He found every opening I had, especially when I was blocking my face from his hits and he almost knocked my feet out from under me! Dammit! I forgot to check my feet! I took a step back and steadied myself by getting into my starting stance again.

"Nice one bro!" Mikey cheered from the side.

As we sparred I noticed he seemed to have to think about what he was about to do before he did it, there was always a pause before he tried to land a hit. Just like the first time we fought! He went to punch me, but I ducked. As he was thinking I pushed him back and kicked his feet out, he fell instantly! Yes! Three down one to go. I looked at Raph, before I fought him I needed to take my pill. I was cutting it close to the time limit. 

I was only gone a minute but I felt energy coming back to me. I was excited for my match with Raph, I'd been watching them all train the past week and from what I could tell, he packed the most punch. I'd have to make sure I dodged his hits really well. I went back to the mat.

"Hajime!"

I was surprised at how quick he moved for someone with his strength. Normally if you had one you didn't get the other but when his fist nearly got me square in the face I knew I'd have to be a little more careful.

"Watch the money maker Raph!" I joked. He smirked, sweet an actual reaction! Uh oh. I ducked as another fist came my way followed by a spinning kick I didn't have the time to dodge! I didn't fall but damn that hurt! Right in the spot he had stabbed me too! I scowled and ignored the pain. I stood up just in time to knock away another kick. Jeez could he give me a break! This kept going until I realized being on the defense was getting me no where real quick. Time for some offense! I jumped back to the edge of the mat and gestured for him to come at me with a smirk on my face. He paused, narrowing his eyes at me before charging while letting out a war cry. He got close enough that I was able to fake a punch, which he blocked, and with my left side I brought my elbow down on his clavicle and my knee into his femur. He didn't fall but had to stop for a second. I backed up before advancing a final time. He tried to throw another punch but I sidestepped, grabbed his arm and body flipped him onto the mat. There was silence in the dojo before a round of applause. How long had that taken? I looked at the clock on the wall. FIFTEEN MINUTES! Not the longest match I'd been in but it was up there. I looked down at Raph, there was an odd look on his face. I think it was respect but I couldn't be too sure. I offered my hand, "Great match!" he took my hand and after he stood up I decided to give him shit. "Did you have to get me right where the stitches were though?" 

"Hey, you almost broke my collarbone so I think we're even." I nodded my head and realized I still had a hold of his hand. I let go of it and drank some water.

"Thanks for the great fights guys! It'll really help me out at the tournament in two weeks! We should do this again sometime." And we did. Whenever they trained with Splinter I went with them. I remember each match fondly as I stood holding my final junior championship's first place trophy. The people here were no where near the same level as the guys so the win was an easy one! The only other person who would have given me any trouble was a kid my age named Oliver. He was disqualified for trying to use an illegal move on a kid two years younger than him! Next year wouldn't be so easy though. That was the grown up faction and there were a lot less restrictions. I would probably have to face that Oliver guy at some point. I celebrated that night with my dad and April but after he went to bed, April and I snuck down to the lair. It was a miracle he hadn't noticed I was gone the first half of the month but it was because he was still travelling around for his business and to make his videos.

When April and I made it to the lair, all the lights were off. What the heck?

"CONGRATULATIONS!" The lights turned on there were the guys! They had gotten a cake, chips, soda, and movies for a fun filled night!

Mikey came over and hugged me, "Great job today, (y/n)!"

Donnie chimed in, "You really did a number on them that's for sure."

"Aww thanks guys! Couldn't have done it without all of you!" We all sat in the living room talking and watching movies. They let me pick out the last one but by the time we got to my choice April, Donnie, Leo, and Mikey were all sound asleep. Donnie was on the other couch out cold, while the others slept on the floor.. Good thing I guess since my choice was a horror movie. I was sitting next to Raph as we shared popcorn. Out of all the turtles I would have to say I felt the closest to him. Between the first time we had sparred and the tournament it felt like I was always hanging out with him. If we weren't training at the lair, we were hanging at my place or here in the lair. I didn't mind at all though considering he isn't bad to look at. He's, in my opinion, really good looking; not that I'd ever tell him. It'd go straight to his head! I turned my attention to the screaming in the T.V. Someone had just gotten sawed in half!

"Hah, gross." I said as I snuggled under my blanket more. His brothers had stolen all the others so I had to share with Raph. No big deal though.

"You think this is bad? Give it a minute." He had seen the movie before. I shoved popcorn in my mouth but nearly spat it out at the image on the T.V.

"Ewwww.Okay yea, that's ten times worse." He chuckled. As the movie went on I felt my eyelids beginning to droop. I had spent all day at the tournament, then all evening at the after party, and now I'm here. It's been an exhausting day. I leaned against Raph, he wouldn't mind right? It's not like I was gonna fall asleep.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Raph's P.O.V.

She was asleep. Jesus Christ she fell asleep on me. was I supposed to wake her up? She has to be home before her dad wakes up right? I stiffened as she snuggled closer to me. This is because we're friends. Friends fall asleep on friends. So what if I have a huge crush on her, it totally doesn't matter right? Nah, not at all. She's snoring. Okay she's really out. 

I sighed and tried to calm down, reminding myself we're just friends. I'd finish the movie by myself and then take her home. Normally she could take herself home, who would be stupid enough to try and mug her? But tonight she's so tired she'd probably just pay the mugger to leave her alone. The movie didn't have long left anyway so I could just relax and enjoy the moment. Oh shit wait, there's the credits now. I didn't want to get up from the warm blanket, now that it's the middle of December it was freezing out. I'd have to pray she remembered to leave a window unlocked for me to get her inside. 

I scooped her up off the couch, keeping her wrapped in the blanket, and started for the surface. I made it topside no problem, but (y/n) was hard to hold onto as a blanket burrito. I almost dropped her as I hopped from roof to roof I really didn't want to try and wake her up but I needed her arms to be around me for support.

"Psst, hey. Cas, wake up." I had started using the nickname after she scared the crap out of me in the bathroom. Ihad just walked in the bathroom when she burst out of the shower screaming. I don't think y heart has pounded that hard. I'd gotten her back a few days later by hiding in the cereal cabinet and when she opened it I jumped out. Pranks were usually Mikey's thing, but I liked to help out from time to time. 

"Shh." She pulled a finger out of her blanket and pushed it against my lips. "I need like, 10 more minutes."

"Cas, I'm gonna drop you in a dumpster if you don't hold on." She mumbled some obscenities at me before both her arms snaked around my neck. "Thanks." We made it to her house shortly after. I stood on the fire escape and opened the window. Good thing her dad didn't lock it. Speaking of him I was gonna have to be extra stealthy, (y/n) had said he was a better fighter than her and had won a few championships himself. I wouldn't want to face him. I carried her to her room as quietly as possible until I stubbed my toe. "FUCK" I whispered. Her hands whipped up and covered my mouth. 

"Are you trying to get found out!?" She whisper yelled. 

"Can it, I just carried your sleepy ass all the way here."

"Fair point." She muttered. "You can put me down now. Thanks for bringing me home though." She yawned and rubbed her eyes. She looked so tired, I almost felt bad for her. 

"No problem." I'd do it whenever she needed me to, not that I'd tell her that though. She gave me a hug.

"Night Raph."

"Night (y/n)." I went out the living room window and into the night with thoughts of her on my mind.


	3. Christmas time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know its past Christmas but OH WELL. Take this cutesy chapter and run away with it. Next chapter expect more fluff.

I was huddled in my winter jacket on my to the lair, coffee in hand and two boxes of pizza in another, a strange combination in my opinion, but the guys loved pizza so I thought I'd surprise them with it. I had become good friends with the turtles by now and it wasn't hard to see their love for pizza was like an addiction to drugs. 

Lifting the heavy man-hole cover I climbed down, finally escaping the freezing cold snow previously blowing around me. I remember when I thought the sewer smelled horrible. Over time I had gotten used to the smell of the place they called home and it doesn't bother me as much now.

I punched in the code to open the lair and walked in. None of the guys were around so I assumed they were training with Splinter. I set the pizza on the table, plugged in my headphones to my phone and listened to music in an attempt to pass the time. I went and sat on the couch, closed my eyes and just zoned out, day dreaming about everything; specifically a certain turtle and his muscular arms. Suddenly something wet hit me on the side of my face, effectively interrupting my day dreaming. I stared wide eyed as I saw Mikey dying of laughter. He'd just hit me with a water balloon and now my hair was soaked. 

I calmly took out my headphones and gave him the glare of death. He immediately stopped. I sighed, " I guess Mikey doesn't get Pizza now... oh well..." I got up and he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry (Y/n)! I swear I'll never do it again!" Laughing, I accepted his apology. 

"So where's the pizza?" Raph asked.

"In the kitchen of course." I watched as the four boys sprinted to the kitchen. I laughed watching them and followed. They immediately started chowing down on the pizza the second they opened the box. I was offered a piece but I declined, coffee and pizza don't taste good together. I noticed a member of our makeshift family was missing.

"Where's April?" Donnie answered my question.

"She's at the library doing research for a school project." 

"Oh. Okay, cool.”

"Hey wait. Aren't you two in the same classes?" He pried further.

"Yea? What are you getting at?"

"You haven't done the project yet have you..." 

"Of course not Donnie, I'm a procrastinator."

"I noticed." 

"Don't worry; I'll get it done eventually." He shook his head and went back to his pizza, which was now missing because Mikey had eaten it.

"MIKEY!" He shouted at his brother who just shrugged. 

"I was hungry."

Donnie just sighed, "I'm going to my room," he left the table. I got up as well he had reminded me I needed to do something.

"I should get going, I have homework and I need to get ready for my dad’s visit tomorrow."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Raph asked me. I shook my head and smiled. It was sweet of him for asking, but I needed to get home quickly.

"Nah, I'm a big girl Raph. I can handle myself." I grabbed my jacket, slipped it on and left after saying goodbye.

Raphael’s P.O.V.

Once (y/n) left, Mikey and Leo looked at each other and grinned. 

"Can I walk you home?" Leo was trying not to laugh. "Honestly, you're worse than Donnie."

"Shut up Leo!" He just rolled his eyes, still having that shit eating grin of his, and left. 

Mikey looked at me, "Just ask her out dude. The worst she can do is say no." 

Actually she could do a lot worse, but I didn't say that. Crossing my arms I lied, "I don't like her like that. I was just being nice." 

"Woah. Raph? Being nice? That's not normal." I tackled him.

Normal P.O.V

The moment I stepped into my apartment I ran to my medicine cabinet. Over the past few months my condition has been worsening... I got to the sink and began to cough and cough, until blood came up. I had forgotten to take my medicine earlier and I remembered once Donnie had left, which is why I left in such a hurry. My dad wasn't even coming over tomorrow, I made that up, and my homework? I finished it all in class. 

After what felt like forever, I finally stopped coughing up the blood trapped in my lungs. I took a shaky breath, took out my medicine, and swallowed two of those little blue pills. They'd take half an hour to kick in but in half an hour I'd be fine again. At least I hoped.

I groaned at my misfortune; stupid disease! Why'd you have to ruin my social life!? Now why didn't I just tell them about my condition? Because I didn't want them to start treating me like some fragile doll. As if I was made of a thin sheet of glass that could break at any moment. April doesn't know either, at least I've never told her. God I hate this. I decided to take a shower to rinse off the blood on my face, also because I smelled a teeny-bit like sewer. 

After my shower I dried my hair, so I was ready for whatever tomorrow had in store for me. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was pathetic, pathetic and tired so I went to bed grateful I didn't have school in the morning. 

*tap* *tap* *tap*

Who the hell was that and what time could it be to warrant a visit? I looked at my clock which told me it was only 8am. Whoever it is, is gonna be dead meat. I looked to the window and saw Raphael waiting. After opening the window, I let him come inside. "What are you doing here so early in the god damn morning...." I asked, rubbing my eyes sleepily.

He looked at me like I was crazy. "It’s 8 o'clock in the morning, what do you mean early?"

"Normally I'm still asleep until at least 10ish...." 

" I haven't even gone to sleep yet."

I paused, "Why?"

"Night patrol?"

"Oh, that'd make sense."

"Yea ya dingus."

After a few moments of, awkward silence I spoke. "Soooo, is there a specific reason you're here instead of sleeping?" I asked him.

“ I thought I’d come help you set up for your dad." Shit. OK. I have two options, keep going with the lie or tell him he's not coming over anymore.... I like option two, it’s less complicated. 

Smiling sheepishly I lied through my teeth, "Well, actually, he cancelled. Last night. When I got home." 

"Oh," 

"Yea, sorry for making you come out here for nothing..."

"It’s fine." His eyes lit up as if he'd gotten an idea. He put his hand behind his head and didn't look at me as he said, "We could hang out, if you want to." Why not. It’s not like I had anything else planned today.

I smiled at him, "Sure! It’s been a little while hasn’t it?” It looked like relief washed over him for a second but that quickly disappeared and his normal confident look returned. "Can you get my allergy pills for me while I get dressed? They're in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, above the sink." He nodded and left so I could change. It wasn't anything too fancy, just black leggings and a sweatshirt. I wasn't trying to impress anyone today. Well, there was Raph, but he's seen me look worse. Post workout sweat and grease is not a good luck for anyone.

As I brushed my hair out, Raph called me into the bathroom. "What? Couldn't find i-" I stopped when I noticed there was still blood in the sink from last nights "fun". I stared at the blood, shit shit shit SHIT.

He looked at me. " What's this from?" He asked.

"Good question," I lied. I knew he wasn't buying it so I lied to him yet again. "Fine. I was having lady problems and had to wash out something, okay?" This immediately shut him up, as I knew it would. Periods, they're good for two things. One, telling me I'm not pregnant and two, grossing guys out. He turned bright red and left the bathroom. 

Once I finished taking care of the sink I took a pill and walked back out. Raph was sitting on the couch flipping through a sketch book. Oh no...

I saw his green eyes glance up at me and back to the book. "You're not a completely horrible artist." I think that was a compliment? Only April had seen my drawings so far. I never let anyone else look in my sketchbook, not even my dad. 

"Thanks..." I murmured. Walking over to him, I peered over the book to see which sketch it was, thankfully it was just one of a forest in colored pencil. He flipped the page to the next one of a duckling. He went to flip again and I tried to take it back. 

"What's your problem?" He put his hand on my face and pushed me away at arm’s length so I couldn't reach it. As he flipped he turned red. It was of him, a full body sketch in pencil. He dropped his hand from my face. I felt my face heat up again, he regained his composure and smirked. "Now who's this handsome turtle?"

"Shut up..." I murmured as he handed me the sketchbook back. Two embarrassing moments in one day, jeez... I'm on a role today.

We spent the rest of the day chatting and joking around. I made us lunch and after clearing the living room of furniture and whatnot, we sparred for a bit. I'd like to say I won, but I didn’t. Raph ended up making me fall on my ass with a kick to the stomach. He went all out during the fight, he's definitely gotten better since the first time whereas I seem to have gotten worse, weird right? I still work out a lot, despite having school and doing a sport, I find time.

After having my ass handed to me on a silver platter, he helped me up. I groaned as I cracked my back and stretched, "Jeez, you really went all out..." He simply smirked and shrugged knowing I could take it. "You've really improved since the last time we sparred though." The last time we sparred was a few says before my tournament in the middle of December. I thought I saw him blush but it was probably just my imagination. 

"Oh," He saw the time, 3:24, and told me he had to go. "Before I go, Splinter said I could invite you over for Christmas. So... what do ya say."

I smiled "I’ll totally go! My dad’s out of town for Christmas this year, he has a special class to teach in California." 

"Great. I’ll see you tomorrow." I opened the window for him then turned around to face him. I always made sure to tell him goodbye. After all, you never know when the last time you'll see someone is. I never got to say good bye to my mom so I make a point to do it now. He almost looked nervous. I was about to ask him if he was okay when he suddenly leaned forwards and got really close to my face. 

There was a dusting of a blush on his face as he stared intensely into my eyes. Our lips were so close. “Can I?” I didn’t know where this was coming from but I liked it. I nodded and he kissed me softly on the lips. I stared at him wide eyed, speechless, and blushing hard. He simply smirked at my reaction and said, "See ya later." Then left me standing there, dumbfounded and staring at where he was just a few seconds ago. I put my hands to my lips. I've never been kissed before, not even on the cheek. Dammit Raph! How dare you surprise kiss me!

Raph’s P.O.V

Once I got back to the lair I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes, I'm tired. Tired and happy. She didn't slap me after I kissed her so that means she didn't hate it, right?

"What're you so happy about, Raph?" I opened my eyes and saw Leo standing over me. 

"Yea, you're smiling with your eyes closed, it’s creeping me out dude." Mikey said and I glared at him. 

"He was probably hanging out with (y/n)." Donnie commented as he walked in from his lab.

"As a matter a fact I was." I told them crossing my arms in front of me.

"Oooooo," they said in a chorus.

"Probably making out with each other." Mikey said and the other two agreed, making kissing noises for emphasis.

"Shut up!" I yelled at them and they all laughed at my reaction. "It was only one kiss..." I murmured. They all stopped laughing and looked at me dumbfounded. 

"You actually went for it?" Donnie asked.

"Yep." I said with a smirk.

"Why aren't you all beat up then?" Mikey asked.

"Maybe because she actually enjoyed it?" I told him annoyed. They laughed and I went to my room, pissed at them all.

Normal P.O.V.

It’s Christmas and I'm headed over to the guy’s lair. It was cold and a snowing, the cold wind had turned my cheeks pink as I carried 6 boxes, I had gotten Christmas presents for the guys, April, and even Master Splinter. As I walked into the lair I saw a Christmas tree up and many other decorations as well. The guys were sitting on the couch with April. Leo, April and Donnie were wearing Santa hats but Raph and Mikey wore reindeer antlers making Raph and Mikey look adorable. Mikey was smiling obviously happy to wear them, but Raph wasn't quite as excited as his brother about it.

Walking over to the tree I laid the presents down underneath it then walked up behind the couch. "Cute hats, guys!" Four green heads whipped around, plus one red one, to look at me. 

"Cas is here!" Mikey yelled and got up to hug me. 

He placed a Santa hat on my head and I laughed, " Yea, I put the presents I got you all under the tree." 

Mikey smiled, "Yes! You are awesome! Thank you!" He ran to the tree to see which one was his.

"Mikey, wait until it’s time to open them," Donnie told him.

He pouted, "I was just looking..."

I sat down next to Raph. "You didn't have to buy us anything." He told me.

"But I wanted to, you guys have been such good friends to me so, I thought I'd repay the favor." He looked like he was about to say something but I interrupted him, "And besides, friends get friends gifts for Christmas, right ?" He simply nodded and stayed quiet, not looking at me. Why not? Oh, was it because he kissed me? But why would that make him be quiet around me? I enjoyed it. As I thought about what happened the other night, I began to feel a blush make its way across my face. Raph looked at me confused for a moment but it quickly changed into one of his infamous shit-eating-grins. He’s probably remembering the same thing I did. 

He whispered in my ear, "We can do that again if you want." I sat there quietly, not saying anything in response. God I wanted to 

Suddenly Master Splinter walked out and said, "Merry Christmas my sons and friends." 

"Merry Christmas Sensei!" We all chorused back. Soon everyone unwrapped the present I got them, I got Master Splinter a book on old Japanese fairy tales, in case he was feeling a little homesick, he was hard to shop for.... I made April a scrap book of all the places I visited since she'd been dying to see them all since forever, and I promised that we'd go on an adventure together someday. Leo was easy to shop for since he was obsessed with Space Heroes, so I got him a set of action figures from the show and a complete disk set of the first season. Donnie was given a book on astrophysics and I got him other sciencey books. I wrote him a note telling him to man up and ask April out since I was 99% sure she liked him.

Mikey was also pretty easy to shop for as he was happy with basically anything, so I got him a iTunes card for music and a new video game he'd been asking for. It was funny watching their reactions, they were all so happy with their gifts, it gave me that good old warm fuzzy feeling inside. Raph's reaction was the best by far though.  
I gave him a new colored pencil drawing of him, full body, which took me HOURS to finish so he better worship the damn drawing, and I gave him photos from our trip to the photo booth, He let me keep them but I figured he should have them. The last thing in his box was the note I wrote him.

Raph turned red while reading it, since I basically called him out on his little crush on me. His brother noticed this and went to read over his shoulder.

"Oooooo! Raph got a love letter!" Mikey yelled. I could tell my face was beet red by now. 

Raph shut the letter and put it back in the box, "No, it’s not!" The guys laughed and April asked me what it said.

I whispered, " I called him out on his crush on me and I just wrote I wouldn't mind if he kissed me again, that's all." She stared at me wide eyed. 

"So it is a love letter!" Mikey yelled. I didn't even notice him listening in.

"Shut up Mikey!" We both yelled at him he simply laughed at our reaction.

Time flew by as the guys teased Raph, he got annoyed but I calmed him down each time. I also played video games with Mikey, helped make dinner, and then did some of the dishes with Leo. When I had to go around 12:30am Raph offered to walk me home. Of course I accepted, so here we are now, walking home. I'm wearing the antlers now though, Mikey stole my hat when I started making dinner and Raph gave me his antlers so I could still look, "festive". Now Raph's wearing my hat after he took it back from Mikey... 

As we got home Raph asked me about the letter. "So what made you write that letter?"

"Well, um..." I wouldn't look at him because I could feel my face heating up out of embarrassment. I wanted to tell him, so I just blurted out, "RaphiIreallylikeyouandIknowyoulikemeto."

He looked at me wide eyed and after a moment laughed, "That must've been a mouth full."

"S-shut up!" I told him red faced.

Suddenly his face reddened too, he looked at me and said, "So, the feelings are mutual then?" 

"Y-yea."

"You don't care I'm some freak? A mutant?"

"You're not a freak Raph."

He grinned a genuine grin of joy and, grabbing me by my waist, kissed me. He pulled away after what felt like forever and I was a little dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He still held my waist and all of a sudden a wolf whistle was let out by someone we couldn't see. We both whipped our heads around to see who it was. It turned out the who was a group of people.

April, Donnie, Mikey and Leo all stood on a roof laughing, whooping, and hollering while wearing scarves and hats. They all looked cozy. My face heated up when I realized they must've seen our kiss. Raph yelled at them but the group only laughed, besides April. She shook her head smiling, and ran off with them. Raph growled and I could tell he was going to follow them, I kissed him on the cheek before he left, "Merry Christmas, Raph." He gave a small smile, mumbled a goodbye, then ran off to chase after his brothers and April.

I walked happily inside my apartment, enjoying my boldness a few seconds ago. After changing into my pajamas I fell asleep on my couch by my Christmas tree.

“Best Christmas ever.”


	4. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You might be an awful dancer, but what about Raph?

April and I had just gotten out of our final class for the day, dance. We both liked the class, the difference was that she's good at it and I'm not. We had to perform a salsa dance as a final grade for the end of the quarter, but there was just one problem. I had no sense of rhythm! I could barely manage to tap my foot to the beat whereas April could get through the whole routine no problem! We had been practicing for weeks now and nothing! I still sucked and April's grade was going to suffer for it. I let out a loud groan as we entered the lair. Walking over to the couch, I face planted onto it's cushions. Donnie and Raph were in the kitchen cleaning up after one of Mikey's experimental lunches, they exchanged a confused glance before Raph walked over.

"Rough day?" I turned my head to look at him, pouting. We had been officially dating for two months as of tomorrow. I don't know what I expected out of it, but everything between us was the same. The only difference between before and now is we kiss and snuggle and all that good stuff. Oh, and I can openly express my appreciation for his arm muscles.

April pat my back. "She's having a hard time learning the dance we came up with for our class. It's our final grade before next quarter so it's really stressing her out."

"Hey, Raph is a pretty good dancer. He could totally help you out." If looks could kill, Donnie would be dead. I sat up and looked at my man.

"Wait, what?"

"Donnie doesn't know what he's talking about. Isn't that right, bro?" It sounded more like a threat than a question. Donnie simply avoided eye contact and went back to deep cleaning the kitchen.

April spoke up, "Hey wait, I remember when we had that dance party! Raph had some good moves." Leo emerged from the dojo, I could just ask him.

"Hey Leo, is it true Raph's a good dancer?" He nodded.

"Splinter had us train in some dances when we were little. The waltz, ballroom, salsa, and a few others too. I hate to admit it but Raph was really good at all of them."

Mikey's head poked out from the bathroom he was hiding in, "Raph made it look so easy while the rest of us struggled along. It was totally unfair! I mean, we all know how to dance, but Raph is totally the best at it." I looked back at Raph in fascination. His face was redder than any tomato I'd ever seen, couldn't tell if it was anger or embarrassment.

"Wait, can you help (y/n) then? She can't dance to save her life." April, the fuck?

"Okay, just because when I dance babies start to cry doesn't mean anything." Leo looked at me like I was crazy.

"What?"

"She's not kidding. It actually happened once while we were in Central Park." I sighed and hung my head.

"It's true. I need guidance," And who better than Raph! After I grabbed his hand, I looked him in the eyes. "Please Raph? I just want to pass this class..."

He groaned loudly and slumped down the couch, not letting go of my hand in the process. "Fine, but no audience and I need to see you and April try it first." I nodded happily. "So who's the lead?" April raised her hand, "Huh. Okay."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just surprised you're not the lead is all. How long until the performance anyway?"

"It's this Friday."

"Alright let's get goin' then. I don't want to spend forever on this. And remember, NO AUDIENCE!" This was followed by a glare at his brothers. Only, there weren't in the living room anymore, they moved to the largest area in the lair which is where we were headed. "God dammit."

April and I stood in the center for our starting position. The music began and immediately my legs tripped over hers and we went sprawling. "I thought (y/n) was kidding about how bad she is..." Mikey tried to whisper but I heard him loud and clear. I gave him a dirty look and he immediately shut up. After about an hour or so of trying to get through the whole song, Raph had the routine down. "Mikey, come here."

"What'd I do!"

"I need you to be (y/n)'s part, idiot. I want to show them where they keep messing up."

"Oh, okay!" He sprinted up. Raph kept going over what we were doing wrong and once another hour went by he stopped.

"I'm gonna practice with April so I can learn her part better. The rest of you idiots leave. I didn't want you in here to begin with." His brothers left, but I lingered in the doorway. He's such a good boyfriend. Even if he could be a stubborn asshole, he has a heart of gold underneath all that attitude.

A couple nights later there was a knock on my window, "Raph?" I stared at him half-asleep. What the heck what he doing here at 3am? Once the window was open he sprinted in to avoid the cold air. Looking at me, I could see the bags under his eyes.

"Move all the shit out of your living room. We're practicing." Now I was awake, I'd been hoping he'd teach me privately! Going through the routine in front of everyone had been embarrassing to say the least. I grinned ear to ear and sprinted around to move my furniture to the walls. I hooked up my phone to the speaker and started the song. Immediately I noticed I moved a lot better with Raph. The only problems was my hips don't move! I groaned when we finished the routine.

"I still can't get my hips to move the way their supposed to!" The music started again.

"Let's try this then, focus on moving your hips more than anything else." He put his hands on my hips, "This should help..." He muttered.

This time my hips moved perfectly fine and twirled around no problem! All those hours of practicing the past few days finally paying off! When the song ended I looked at him with a huge smile on my face.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I left little kisses all over his face. He got flustered and all the blood rushed to his face.

"You should thank me more often." A look of pure mischief crossed my face as I leaned in close to him, our lips almost touching.

"I could arrange that if you'd like?" All he could do was nod. I barely leaned forwards as I softly kissed him, he put his hands back on my hips and brought our bodies closer together. I wrapped my arms around his neck as our kiss deepened. Soon it was a make out session, complete with noisy kissing and lip biting. I wanted this to keep going forever but I had to stop soon. I needed to take my stupid pill. I pulled away and stared deep into his emerald eyes, "Sorry to end the moment but I need the bathroom." He let out a sigh and released his hold on me. "I won't be long." I made it to the bathroom as my phone's alarm went off, reminding me to take it. Perfect timing. Taking a swig of water from the sink I popped a pill and headed back to the living room after flushing the toilet and washing my hands. It would be suspicious if he didn't hear the toilet flush. Turns out it didn't matter because he was out cold on my couch.

"Awww, so cute." I snapped a picture of him, "Hello new home screen." I grabbed a blanket off my bed and draped it over him, he had been working so hard to help me get this memorized and judging by the bags under his eyes he hadn't been sleeping. I decided to send Leo a text telling him I had Raph and to not worry. After kissing him on the forehead, I went to sleep in my own bed.

That Friday, April and I stood in the dance studio at school, ready to perform the salsa. I was nervous about messing up despite practicing with both April and Raph last night for hours on end. It was exhausting yet fun! I got to have fun with my best friend AND my boyfriend. Not to mention Raph's hands on my hips were not minded one bit. The teacher calling my name brought me back to earth. I looked at saw April waiting for me on the dance floor and hauled ass to get up there just as the music started. We went through the routine no problem! I only stumbled over her feet once and when we finished we actually got an applause! I squealed and hugged April, swinging her around in gratitude. We sprinted from school to the lair to share the good news.

April yelled as we came in. "GUYS! GUYS!" They sprinted in with weapons drawn.

"What is it!?"

"What's going on!?"

"Calm your ta-tas and look at our grade for the performance!" Thrusting out the piece of paper towards them, they slowly lowered their weapons.

"NO WAY DUDE'S!" Mikey's yell was followed by congratulations from Leo and Donnie. Raph picked me up and swung me around.

"A 94!? Great job, babe!" His smile was so wide I was almost afraid he'd hurt himself somehow.

Once he let me down I kissed him on the cheek, "All thanks to you! If you hadn't helped April and I we probably would've failed."

"Yea probably," he agreed. I rolled my eyes; what a butt. But I guess I'll deal with it since I kind of love him. Wait did I say love him? Shit.

  
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A/N:

  
This is a little filler chapter I wrote to appease ya'll while I edit chapter 5 which is why it's a bit shorter. I have chapter 4 halfway done and when that's done I'll post it in a few days.  Then I can post chapter 5


	5. Human Turtles

I'd had enough. April and her other friend Erma were being bullied by some jack-asses at school! She had told me a while ago but refused to tell me who they were and despite my investigating I hadn't found out. I think t's because she knew I wasn't afraid to do something to make it stop. I'd only witnessed an incident once but that was enough for me. We had just finished walking through the lunch line when some idiot came up behind us and smacked Irma's tray out of her hand! 

She stared shocked at the floor before standing her ground, "What was that for!" The guy simply shrugged.

"You should be thanking me; I'm initiating your new weight loss program. My buddies and I have been talking about how fat your ass has been getting lately." Irma turned beet red and tears sprung to her eyes. I went to say something back but April beat me to it. 

"What gives you the right to keep harassing us, Jason? We haven't done anything to you so leave us alone!" Her fists were balled at her sides. It was rare for me to see April this angry; mainly because I tried to avoid pissing her off. The bully looked at her as if she were a weed. 

"Who do you think you're talking to O'Neal?"

"A huge jerk acting out because his home life sucks! You berate and bully us to make yourself feel better when your parents neglect you, to seem superior to your friends you pick on the little guys!" After a comment like that, he flipped her tray up into her face, covering her in today’s mystery meat surprise and mashed potatoes. I took a step toward him, ready to punch his lights out, but April stopped me. "Don't stoop to his level (y/n)." Bitch the fuck? I would gladly stoop to his level, HELL I'd even go lower! Jason snickered as his posse gathered around.

"You loser, I do this because you deserve it. Two nerds don't belong here with the rest of the school, I wish you'd both just drop out. Actually no," He grinned, "I wish you both were dead." He glanced at me, "I don't know how you convinced this chick to hang around you, she's an athlete, does art, and doesn't dress like a trash bag." He pushed April aside and stood in front of me, what the fuck does he think he's doing? "You should ditch these losers and come hang with us later so we can get to know each other a little better, you know?" He slid an arm around me, "How would you like that?" 

I whispered, "Don't touch me."

"Sorry sugar, what was that? You were too quiet." I gestured for him to come closer.

He leaned in nice and close when suddenly, "I SAID DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" Ripping his arm from behind my head, I threw a left hook straight into his nose! He staggered backwards.

"YOU BITCH!" Screaming he held his bleeding nose.

"Oh honey, I'm not done with you yet." I stalked towards him, a predatory look in my eye. According to April, this asshole had been harassing both her and Irma since the 7th grade. HE wouldn't just get off with a punch. As I got closer he back peddled towards a wall. I ignored April's pleas to stop and before he got too far, I grabbed him and threw him on the ground as hard as I could. He cried out in pain. I walked towards him once more and I could tell by the look in his eye he was terrified.

"You-you're a monster! I'll sue your ass! Stay away from me you god damn killing machine." That struck a nerve. I'd been called that countless times before by competitors and in online comments on my dad's page. It hurt every time. I was already going to beat this bastard up, but now I was willing to break a few bones while I was at it. Picking him up off the floor by his collar I brought my arm back and went to punch when I was stopped.

"Miss. (y/n), cease this at once!" It was the principal. Great. I dropped Jason to the floor like last week's lunch, and followed him to the office. Little did I know, Irma had recorded the fight. God only knows why. She sent it to April who sent it to me as I sat in the office listening the lecture and how I would get off with a warning this time. I didn't have time to watch it because Jason's mom had shown up and was out raged at the light punishment. 

"This-this GIRL almost killed my son!" I rolled my eyes.

"Lady, if I wanted your kid dead he would be."

She stared at me, mouth agape. "Is that a threat!?"

"No, it's a fact." The principle gave me a strained smile.

"(Y/N) Timber, kindly keep your mouth shut for the moment." I didn't respond and they sighed in relief. They turned their attention back to his mother, "Miss Smith, may I ask where your husband is? I don't feel like explaining this twice."

She scoffed, "My husband is at his office in Hawaii. He can't be here right now to help me deal with some school yard bully." I snorted and was about to say something but the principal's head whipped around to send me a look. I held my tongue.

"From what I understand, your son is actually the bully." 

"WHATT!? HOW DARE YOU!" She started screaming about the unfairness of this all and wagging her finger at the principal who sat there extremely unamused at this lady's hissy fit. When she finally calmed down we continued.

"Mrs. Smith, there have been many reports of your son verbally assaulting other students, stealing other students things from them, ruining their projects, so on and so forth. Up until now, Miss. Timber has been a model student and I believe she was defending her friends from your son.' The argument went on for what felt like forever until finally Jason's mom gave up and took her son to the hospital. I gave him an evil grin on his way out.

"(Y/n)?" I turned to look at the principal.

"Yea?"

"Please get out of my office. I've had enough of you for today." I snickered.

"Thanks cousin." They just nodded as I left their office. Did I mention my cousin is the principal? Yea it had its perks.

I made my way to the lair, skipping a little as I did. I was in such a good mood; I got to beat up a bully, put him in his place, and got off scot free. I entered the dojo when Splinter stopped me. I inwardly groaned, what now? We went into the dojo and I sat on a mat.

"(Y/n), as your sensei I cannot condone the inappropriate use of your skills."

"I completely understand-"

"I was not finished. As your Sensei and teacher I am disappointed, but as your friend I am proud." I smiled, "I had heard of April's harassment, but I was hoping it would end in a much more peaceful way than it did. Luckily, it is in the past now."

"Thank you sensei-"

"But you are to clean the bathroom for the next month as punishment." Damn, almost got off scott-free. When I finally left the dojo, the guys were huddled around April and her phone.

"Whatcha watching?" It was an innocent question, but apparently I'd scared them, Mikey even screamed. I was definitely living up to my nickname. Raph glared at me.

"Jesus, how do you always do that!?" 

I shrugged, "It's a gift. Anyway, what're you all watching?" Leo tore his eyes away from the screen long enough to answer me.

"We're watching you beat up your classmate and it honestly terrifying."

"He was being a major dick so I had to kick his ass!" 

Donnie muttered, "Don't worry, we saw."

I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist, "I thought it was kind of hot." .

Mikey snorted, "That's because you have a thing for strong women, Raph." 

After they finished the videos they all went on night patrol, except Raph and I. We had a date night planned. It was just watching movies and cuddling on the couch but I loved to cuddle with him and to my surprise he's big on cuddling too. You wouldn't think it by looking at him but he's got a soft spot underneath all that shell. The movie had just finished when my phone went off.

"I don't have friends, so who's texting me?" Opening the message I groaned.

"(Y/N) Timber, Your ass is grass when I get home on Saturday. Just because your cousin let you off with just a warning don't think I will. I don't want you going to school tomorrow, give your homework to April to give to your teachers. When I get home we're having a talk about using martial arts on your classmates. Love, Dad" 

"Oh good that's all?" My phone went off again, another message?

"Also, you're grounded. See you Saturday."

"Noooo, "I slid down the couch and onto the floor. He chuckled.

"So what're ya' gonna do tomorrow now?"

"Can I just spend the night and train with you guys in the morning? I hate feeling unproductive."

"Babe, you practically live here. I doubt Splinter would care since it wouldn't be the first time."

I nodded in agreement, "Yea and hey! I can sleep in your bed with you!" He froze for second before all the blood rushed to his face and he buried it in his hands. I pulled one of them away and held it. "Aww babe, we've been together for four months now and you still get embarrassed?" He growled and turned away from me. I realized something, "Hey, Raph?"

"What."

"Your brothers are gone."

"Yea and?" I climbed into his lap and put a hand softly on his face.

"We can do whatever we want with no interruptions." He stared at me until I kissed him hard on the mouth. We hadn't really had a chance to do anything more than a light peck with his brothers always around, or he was training so this was a pleasant surprise. Our kisses became more rapid and heated as time went on. I moved my lips to his neck and bit down.

"Ah, hey!" 

Chuckling, I looked up at him innocently, "What happened?" He was about to say something when a booming voice resonated through the lair.

'WE"RE HOME DUDES AND DUDETTES!" God dammit Mikey! I scrambled off his lap and into the kitchen to take one of my pills, trying to act casual. 

His brothers walked in and took over the living room so Raph and I went to bed. When I was finally able to lay down, I immediately fell asleep and when I woke up the next day, training began. It wasn't too hard, but I started coughing and had to excuse myself to take another pill. Once training was over April came in. If the expression on her face hadn't given away something was wrong, the writing on her forehead would've. In large black writing, some dickwad had written "CUNT"! Donnie was the first one by her side when she started crying.

"April who did this!" He held her gently, handing her a tissue.

"One of Jason's cronies..." she sniffled, "They got Erma a lot worse." Oh hell no. 

"April I'm gonna kill that mother fu-"

"No (y/n). If you pull a stunt like yesterday again, they'll expel you!" She wiped her eyes, "We need a different strategy."

"Well, if I can't knock some sense into them maybe you guys could." I looked at the turtle brothers. "Donnie, don't you have a device that can turn you all human?" 

He looked surprised, "Well, not really. It's actually a cloaking device and- hey wait a second. How did you know about that?! I haven't told anyone about it since it's not even finished yet!"

I shrugged, "Mikey and I snoop around your lab a lot and play with the gadgets." He looked annoyed.

'Well, I need time to work the bugs out, but what good would violence do a second time? The first time didn't work so well, not to mention Sensei would be mad." 

"Guys wait I have an idea," Leo paused. "What if we just, confront them?" April leaned back on the couch.

"I've done that before, that's when they started bullying me." 

My turtle rolled his eyes, "Besides, Sensei's gonna be mad that we infiltrated the school anyway. He'll say there's too many humans."

"Actually, I do not care if you wish to go to the school for a few days. It would be a learning experience. You could learn how children your age act." Splinter scared the crap out of everyone, even me! "I would only be disappointed if you started the fight." A grin found its way to my face. "But (y/n)?"

"Yea?"

"You must clean the bathroom before you go." Dammit I was hoping he'd forgotten!

"Hai, Sensei." He left for his room and we all let out a collective sigh of relief. 

"So, guess you're all going to school next week." They seemed excited. I had forgotten they'd never been to a school before, Splinter and books had taught them. "My cousin is the principal there but, you're gonna need to forge some paperwork saying who you are and some fake I.D.'s."

Mikey raised his hand, "I can do the I.D.'s no problem." We all looked at him, half confused, half surprised. He simply smiled, "Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to." 

"A-alright... I guess we'll let Mikey do that then." He grinned and ran off to room shouting he was gonna start to make them.

"I can do the documents and the machine. With how I have it right now, it'll turn us into how we view ourselves. We should remain the same height though. I have to work out the final kinks but it should be good to go by Monday."

"Alright, I'll get a hold of some supplies we'll need. Who knows how long this could go for. We have to wait for them to throw the first punch." I shook my head.

"Leo, what supplies do you guys think you'll need? It'll be like 3 days max. All you'll need is a backpack, some pencils, and a notebook if you actually care."

"I know I won't," Raph muttered. "It's not like we need the grades for college or something, we aren't going anywhere except back to the sewers." I didn't like the way he said it, but he did have a point.

"Okay, I guess we'll meet at my house on Monday morning then." Everyone agreed. 

"Sounds like a plan. Oh and (y/n)," Leo leaned close, " if I were you I'd start the bathroom now. I'm the only one that cleans it and it's been a few weeks." Oh sweet lord, have mercy on my poor nose. April pat me on the back for good luck before going to the kitchen sink to wash off her forehead.

"You got this babe." He kissed my cheek and ran off so I couldn't ask him to help. What a butt

After I deep cleaned their bathroom, a process that took two hours, I went home. My dad was going to be home the next day so I had to clean my own apartment. When he finally got back I told him my side of the story, he was more understanding and I got off with a lecture on not throwing the first punch with school bullies. Over the next few days I had to stay and hang out with my dad. We hadn't really hung out much since we got back to New York so I was really appreciative. The guys and April made sure to keep me up to date. By Sunday evening they were ready to go. My dad left for work Sunday night and said he wouldn't be home for two weeks.

I was out cold until I heard a rapping on my window, looking at the time I saw it was only 5am. What is with these turtles and waking me up so early! I whipped open the window, "Why. Why are you all here so early." 

Leo looked rightly afraid of what I wanted to do to them. "I thought you had to get ready for school early in the morning?" 

"Dude, the fuck. It's only 5, school doesn't start until 7:45. I don't even get up for another 2 hours."

"Oh, whoops." He was embarrassed. Good. Raph shoved past him to get into the apartment, his brothers followed.

"We tried to tell him but he was bring his normal stubborn self." 

Mikey nodded in agreement, "He woke us all up at 4 and made sure we had our bags."

"What a good older brother. But next time you guys show up this early on a school day," I smiled sweetly, "I'll castrate you." I walked to the kitchen and got out stuff for breakfast, 'I'm gonna assume none of you have eaten so have fun and go nuts." I remembered how Mikey cooks, "but don't ruin my kitchen." I went back to bed until 7:00ish before getting ready for school. I walked out of the bathroom after taking my meds, and the guys were gone. There was a note next to a plate of pancakes. 

"Hey, we went over to April's so we wouldn't wake you up. I made you some pancakes before we left. See you at school, Love you." Awwww. I definitely chose the right man. Scarfing down the pancakes, I grabbed my bag and headed out. I was really excited to see the guys as humans, so when I finally got to school I went straight to my cousin to ask about the "new kids".

"Which ones?"

"Huh?"

They sighed, "Which new kids? There's 8 of them today." Oh sweet Jesus. "Listen (y/n) I don't have time right now. Go look for them yourself." They shooed me out of the office and into the halls. I tried to look for the guys but to no avail. I was about to head to first period when I spotted April. 

"APRIL!" She turned around as I tackled her. "Are the guys okay?" 

After pushing me off she stood up, "Yea, they're totally fine. I took them to their first period classes already. We should go to ours." Ew, chemistry. I still found it stupid I had to take all these classes I'd a.) never use, and b.) already taken when I was travelling. We sat at our desks and I tried not to fall asleep during the dumb class. I was half asleep when I noticed one kid watching ten times more intently than anyone else. He sat in a slight oversized purple hoodie and dark blue skinny jeans. His hair was a lighter brown and he had it tied back in a low pony tail. I don't remember seeing him around, could it be one of the guys? Probably Donnie if it was since he was enjoying science at 8 o'clock in the god damn morning. The teacher said something about atoms only spinning one way when the kid raised his hand.

"Actually miss, you're wrong." Okay yep, definitely Donnie. Who else would be so blunt about chemistry facts? "MIT has recently proved they can spin both ways." The teacher wasn't impressed.

"Prove it." Oh lady, you just made a huge mistake. He stood up and started writing rapidly on the board. By the time the bell rang he had 4 other whiteboards brought in so he could keep writing. "I'm impressed Donatello, you should really look into graduating early." He smiled politely then caught April and I's stare. He waved and we walked over as we left class.

"Nice job, Don! You proved her wrong and wasted an hour and a half of class! I'm so proud." I pat him on his back, "Where's your brothers?"

"Oh, I'm not sure about Leo or Raph, but Mikey has gym next period."

"What a coincidence, me too!"

I could immediately tell it was Mikey, not because of the abundance of freckles adorning his face, nor his baby blue eyes, but because he was at the top of climbing rope and dangling upside down from the rafters, much to the displeasure of the gym teacher.

"Michael, get down from there! You could get seriously hurt," he mumbled, "and I don't want to do the paperwork..."

"Dude, I told you. My name isn't Michael, it's Michelangelo or Mikey."

"I don't give a flying hoot-a-nanny what you want to be called just get down here!" I raised my hand. "Timber, what is it."

"I can get him to get down." He rolled his eyes but allowed me to stand underneath where Mikey was dangling.

"Yooo (y/n), I didn't know you had this class! What up? Wanna come chill up here?"

I shook my head, "Nah, you should come down though. I think Mr. Heler is about to pop his top." 

"But I'd have to climb all the way down the rope. That's work dudette."

"Just drop."

"Ohh, smart idea." He hosted himself up, then jumped off. The height would've severely injured a normal person, but a ninja turtle in disguise? No way. He landed into a squat then stood no problem. I got a better look at him. He had longer dirty blonde hair with his normal baby blue eyes, wore an orange shirt and black workout shorts.

Mr. Heler was about to go off on Mikey when the bell rang, saved by the bell. "I think Leo and you have class together next period, have fun!" 

Walking into English, I knew I would have a hard time figuring out who Leo was. Not only was there 5 new kids in here but they all looked slightly alike. I had realized they were the same height with the same eye color but that fit the description of almost all the new kids in the class.

"Class today we are going to be starting the Japanese poetry unit. Can anyone tell me a form of Japanese poetry?"

One of the new kids shot their hand up, "A haiku?"

"Yes, very good. But that's an easy one. How about this, can anyone tell me some other well-known forms of Japanese poetry?"

"Choka, tanka, renga, renku, hokku, and haikai."

"Very good! I'm impressed you know of all those! Are you interested in Japanese poetry?"

"Well ma'am my dad is Japanese and he really likes poetry and meditation so I grew up surrounded by it." Okay yea, that's Leo for sure. He sat a few seats across from me so I leaned forward and waved. He waved back and class resumed. He had short black hair framing his narrow face. His long sleeve was somehow the same exact shade as his eyes and he wore grey jeans with black converse. Not a bad disguise.

The bell went off for lunch and I was a little disappointed, I still hadn't seen Raph! Where was he? April, Leo, Mikey, Donnie, and I sat at a table to eat. Irma was at home, too afraid to come to school. I felt an arm slip around my shoulder, speak of the devil and he shall appear! I grinned and turned to kiss him but I had to stop myself. It wasn't Raph, it was Jason! 

"Dude what the fuck!" I quickly stood up to remove him from me. His disgusting and still bruised face smiled.

"Aww doll-face, you almost kissed me. Why did you stop?" 

"I thought you were my boyfriend." I placed emphasis on boyfriend to get the point across. "Didn't me beating the crap make you realize that I hate your guts and would sooner see you dead?" He put a hand on his heart in mock, hurt.

"You would me!" He stood, "After thinking about it long and hard, I decided to forgive you for leaving me with a few shiners. Just a little bump in the road in our blossoming relationship. Besides that, I have a thing for strong women. And did I hear you correctly? You have a boyfriend? Sounds like a lie." A gruff voice spoke from behind me.

"Well it ain't so leave her alone." Raph? I turned around to see he was BUILT! You could see his arm muscles even with his red varsity jacket! Under his jacket was a black muscle shirt and he wore looser faded blue jeans and red sneakers to match his jacket. His dark brown hair was cut short on the top and buzzed on the sides. He then topped the look off with sun glasses. With his emerald green eyes and dark hair, if he were actually human he would be popular with the ladies. I mean, I thought he was hot as himself too but you get used to it over time, this is a brand new and very attractive face.

"What, is that you? Hah, no way. You're one of the new kids how would you even know her? Did you pay him (y/n)?" We stood there waiting for Jason to snap so he would throw a punch. Instead he looked around our lunch table, "So you and O'Neal made nice with the new kids? How sweet, I can tell their losers just like you." 

Mikey stood up, "Losers that can kick your butt!" 

"Is that a threat? If so I'll have to report it." Leo grabbed Mikey to make him sit down. Raph spoke again.

"I hate people like you, people who prey on others just because they think they're better. Well news flash, you ain't nothin' special. People like you, belong in the sewers so your stench can match your personality." Jason struggled to come up with a response but gave up pretty quick. He stormed off to his table of idiots. Leo looked impressed with his brother.

"Raph, that was-"

"THAT WAS AWESOME!"

I kissed his cheek, "Great job babe."

"Heh, thanks I guess..." We ate our lunch and I kept finding myself looking at Raph. He's just so nice to look at I couldn't help myself. Eventually he noticed.

'What, is there something on my face??"

I sighed in response. "Babe this isn't fair." A concerned look crossed his features.

"What do you mean?" 

Sighing and throwing my arms out in fake exasperation, I retorted, "I'M supposed to be the hot one." He rolled his eyes but there was a faint blush. Score one for (y/n).

"You guys really need a room."

"Oh Donnie, leave them alone. They're in loooove." Mikey made kissing noises and his brothers snickered. Fourth period started up so we had to part ways. I didn't have any of the guys in my last class of the day so it went by pretty slowly. When we finally got out we met in front of the school and headed back to the lair. Once we entered, their disguises wore off. 

I cupped Raph's face, "There's my handsome turtle. I missed this face all day." He shook his head.

"You liked what you saw today."

"Yea, but that's not really you, this is the face I fell for." He didn't say anything for a second then kissed me hard.

"EW! STOP I'M RIGHT HERE!" Mikey's screech could be heard throughout the entire lair, and possibly all of New York City. We pulled away and went to his room for more making out. The days kept going until it was Thursday and not to mention, a half day. I was surprised the mission lasted so long! Normally Jason would've snapped and thrown a punch by now, so we had to turn to more drastic measures. 

"Blackmail." It was all I had said, but I could tell immediately April didn't like it. 

"I don't know guys, is it really okay for us to do this?" 

"Not really, no. Sensei would be disappointed." Raph groaned.

"Leo, we can't keep coming to this school forever and this way he'll leave April and her friend Irish alone." April corrected him.

"Her name's Irma." He just waved her off. "But what if-"

I cut her off, "April, Irma's going to keep missing school if we don't do something soon. She's already missed a week, do you really want her missing more?" She sighed, she knew I was right but she didn't like it. "I say tonight we go spy on him, see if he has anything embarrassing to hide." We all agreed and went to first period. 

When the school day ended early, Raph was nowhere to be found. "Do any of you guys know where he is?" Donnie shook his head.

"He's not answering his phone." 

'Hm. I'm going to go look for him. You guys can head back if you want." They wished me good luck and headed back. I wandered from empty classroom to empty classroom, but I still couldn't find him. I was starting to get worried. I walked past the girl’s locker room when I heard voices inside. I pressed my ear against the door straining to listen.

"Is my sister not good enough for you dude! Look at her, she's crying!" Uh-oh. Over the course of the past 4 days Raph had formed a little bit of a fan club. Like I had thought, the ladies loved his hot temper and brooding attitude. There were so many confession letters in his locker, they almost flooded out! It was starting to piss me off. Now one of his little fans had gotten her brother involved? What a bitch.

"Listen, I said I'm not interested! What do ya want me to do, break up with my girl now and date your sister?"

"EXACTLY!" 

The girl finally spoke up, "You're dating that freak (Y/n) Timber right? She's a war-machine, a scary psycho! You could do so much better!" There's that word again, war-machine. Just hearing it makes me sick to my stomach. Speaking of sick, my pill was due to take soon. I opened the bottle and popped one in my mouth while Raph defended me. 

"So what if she can fight really well, why is that such a big deal to you people! And besides that, she's the best thing to ever happen to me so there's no way in hell I'd give that up for a quick fling with you!" What a good boy. It was a lot of arguing until she said something that really caught my interest. 

"Did you know she's dying?" I froze. She wasn't spot on but she was close. "People have seen her popping these weird blue pills at exactly 12 every day. The student council and I did a little research and apparently it's either an experimentory drug for a deadly disease, ecstasy pills, or allergy pills." Time to step in before things get ugly. I opened the door and three heads swiveled in my direction, looking like deer caught in the headlight.

"That's what they are. Allergy pills." 

"W-what?" The girl looked petrified.

"You heard me. The 'war-machine' takes allergy pills. My allergies are so bad it causes huge mucus block up if I don't take it every so many hours. That's what the blue pill is. Are you done now?" She shot me a glare and stormed off with her brother.

"So-"

"Yes! They are just allergy pills!" I was lying but I didn't want him to know. I'm not weak and I don't want anyone ever thinking I am.

"I wasn't gonna ask that! Jeez woman, calm down. I was gonna ask if you're ready to go home now." Oh.

"Sorry. I'm a little on edge." We were silent until we made it to the sewers. The whole walk back I felt annoyed. Annoyed he met with this chick without telling me or his brothers, annoyed some chick almost outed me about my disease, annoyed at the stupid ling disease! The thoughts were swirling in my head when he finally spoke again.

"So uh, how much did you hear?"

"Just when the guy started yelling at you about dating his sister and everything after." He could tell something was wrong, but I don't think he wanted to ask in case he made me mad again. When we got into the lair we agreed to give one more day for him to snap and if not, then we would get blackmail that weekend.

When we went to school the next day, Raphael was stormed by more of his fan club members. Great. They had somehow managed to separate our hands and shove me out towards his brothers and April.

"Why is Raph the only one popular with the ladies," Mikey sounded envious of his brother. "It's really not fair." 

"I'm getting tired of it. If you want to take his fan girls I'd really appreciate it." I stormed off towards first period, ignoring Raph calling out for me. Was I making a big deal out of nothing? Yes, yes I was. Did I care? No, no I did not. I was fed up with these stupid girls keeping me away from him. During lunch they would swarm our table to try and get him to sit with them instead. He would always deny their request but they would usually stick around anyway. I wouldn't consider myself the jealous type, but when I saw him surrounded by them in the halls, or in class, I would feel like such shit. Thinking about it, I knew he would never go for one of them, but something still didn't sit right with me. April tried to talk to me about it.

"Why are you mad at Raph?"

"What? I'm not mad at HIM, I'm frustrated with his entourage getting in the way is all. It's got nothing to do with Raph."

"Well he thinks it does. Maybe try acting calmer when you're around him? I know all those girls swarming him bothers you, but try to keep it cool. He can't help it." 

She had a point, so when lunchtime finally rolled around, I ignored the girls around the table. He didn't say anything as he sat down so I spoke first, "Hey babe, how was class?"

He stared at me, normally at lunch I would remain silent because of all the girls trying to get his attention. After a moment he looked relieved, "It was boring as hell. I don't know how Donnie enjoys all that boring stuff in science." A girl managed to squeeze her way in between our chairs and tried to talk to Raph.

"Hey, could you not? I'm trying to have a conversation with my girlfriend." The shocked girl pouted then moved. "These girls are crazy. I can't wait for this to be over."

"The price of good looks is steep and darlin' you're the best looking person I've ever seen." Crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat, he rolled his eyes. "I mean, here you aren't too bad looking I guess, but back at home?" I gave a thumbs up, "That's where it’s at." 

He snorted, "All right sweetheart, whatever you say." After that the rest of the day went by easily. Jason didn't even bother us once, the girls left Raph and I alone and Donnie had found blackmail on Jason.

"He cheated on all his past regents exams." April and I gasped.

"No way!"

"How did you figure that out Donnie?"

"Well, I looked at his scan-tron and it's always exactly the same as the person who sat in front of him. Same with his short answer responses. It was easy to figure out since you all sit in alphabetical order of last name."

"Oh my god, this is the best blackmail! If we expose him, he won't be able to graduate unless he takes them again!" I grinned evilly, "I almost want to tell on him anyway so he can suffer through them again." The thought of Jason spending two hours in the hot sweaty gym for each test at the end of the quarter was comforting. Donnie wasn't as amused.

"Then we'd have to spend more time looking for blackmail and this took a while so I'd rather not."

"Ugh, Donnie. You're no fun." With that settled the guys went off to go patrol and I went home for the night. I thought I was going to be alone all weekend but Raph came over Saturday to hang out, read comics, and some cards. I kicked his ass at Go-fish, poker, and rummy. After his 7th loss in a row he was done.

"You have to be cheating!"

Grinning, I shuffled the deck again. "Nope. You're just really bad at card games." I put the cards away. "It's okay, I won't break up with you for sucking at card games." 

"I might break up with you if you keep winning" I laughed. We spent the rest of the night talking. He tended to be more open with me when his brothers weren't around so I preferred to hand out like this. Eventually I got sleepy so he carried me to bed.

'Why can't you stayyyy," I whined. "You're so warm and comfortable."

"You just want me to stay so you can sleep on my arm."

"Well yea, it's nice and muscular. It makes a great pillow." He smirked and kissed me.

"Night (y/n)."

"Good night Raph," I yawned and gathered all my blankets to me. "I love you." I froze. Sure I had told him I loved him in the past but in a joke or something stupid like that. Nothing genuine like this. I turned to face him. He was beet red and wouldn't look me in the eye.

"I uh.. love you too." Grinning ear to ear I ripped off my covers and tackled him into a hug. After taking a few steps back to steady himself, he wrapped his arms around me. "How did someone like you fall for someone like me?"

"I ask myself the same question every day."

After a brief make out session he left out the window. I went to close it when I heard him whooping and hollering in joy, "SHE LOVES ME!" I smiled softly, what a dork.

Monday morning April and I strutted down the halls towards Jason's locker, ready to unleash the can of whoop-ass we had in store for him. The guys came with us, wanting to try out being a human one last time. We made it to his locker, he was getting stuff out for class when he stopped and glared at us. "What do you losers want? Can't you see I'm busy?" He started to walk off.

"We know about your tests, Jason." April had spoken first.

Turning around he said, "Oh yea? What about them?"

"We know you cheated on all of your regents exams. We could go tell the principal and you would have to take them all over again.

"Tch, I'm not scared. You'd have to prove it."

Donnie cut in, "Actually, several of students are willing to step forwards about it. A lot of people saw you staring at their papers for answers." 

Mikey nodded in agreement, "You ain't slick dude."

"We also know about the drugs." Jason paled.

"W-what?" We all turned to Raph. This was news to us as well.

"I've got screenshots of texts from you to certain people saying you could sell them prescription drugs. So unless you want to be expelled and never get a job, you'll leave April alone." He leaned really close to the petrified boy, "Capiche?" Jason nodded rapidly, "Now get the hell out of here before I kick your ass just for being a sleezeball towards my girlfriend." He ran off and Leo asked the question we all had.

"How did you know he's selling drugs?" 

"Sometimes having a fan club is a good thing." Huh, guess they were useful after all. The rest of the day went uneventful and rather boring. April had convinced Irma that Jason would leave her alone so she agreed to come back the next day. When we finally all got home we celebrated. The mission was finally over! We sat around on the couches when the guys started giving me shit.

"If I remember correctly, you said to me, 'Leo, it'll be 3 days max.' and here we are, exactly 7 seven days later."

Grinning, Donnie added to my torture, "I'm no expert (y/n), but I'm pretty sure that's 4 days more than you told him." 

"Jeez, sorry I made you guys go to school an extra few days."

Raph put a hand on my shoulder, "Thanks for apologizing. That place was hell"

I glared at him, "I love you and all, but you're an ass." He just nodded in agreement. What a dick. At least he's my dick though, and now I won't have to fight for his attention anymore. God bless.

 

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(A/N): For all who don't live in New York, Regents are a state required exams for certain subjects like Living Environment. English, World History, U.S. History, Geometry, Chemistry, Earth Science, etc. They are the dumbest thing I've ever had to take and they're really easy to pass. Also sorry about the wait! This is probably the longest chapter I've written, it's 19 freaking pages. That's why it took so long to pump out! Please expect the next chapter in a few days! Leave a comment and/or a kudos if you enjoyed!


	6. Date Night and a kidnapping

Kicking back and relaxing in my living room, I had drawing supplies littered everywhere. It was the first time I'd been able to really relax and do what I wanted so I had decided to spend it drawing my friends. My phone was next to the drawing pad showing my reference, a photo of Raph and I mid fight, Donnie had taken the pic and personally I thought we looked pretty bad ass so naturally I had to draw it. I had even taken out my prismacolor pencils so the colors would blend smoothly; despite how expensive they were it was totally worth it in my opinion. A harsh ringing broke my thought process; whipping around, I found Raph scrambling to shut off his phone. He looked pretty embarrassed to be caught.

 

"Babe, what the hell? How did you get in?"

 

"You uh, you don't lock your window anymore and it looked like you were concentrating pretty hard so I let myself in."

 

"Oh. How long were you standing there?"

 

"It felt like forever, you never looked up from your drawing pad. It's hard to believe you didn't notice me come in."

 

"Like you said, I was concentrated on drawing." He crouched down and took the drawing pad without asking. In the past I would yell at him for not at least giving me a heads up but after almost 6 months I've gotten more comfortable with him looking at my sketchbooks. He stared at the slowly coming together piece.

 

"Hey, I remember this fight! I kicked your ass." He chuckled, "Ah memories." I softly punched him.

 

"You're such a dick. Did you just come over to harass me or is there an actual reason?"

 

"Oh yea, so uh, you know our six month is tomorrow right?" I froze. I knew it was soon but not THAT soon! I had forgotten the actual date of our anniversary but I didn't want to say anything!

 

I tried to play it cool, "Uh-huh, what about it?"

 

"Well uh, I was doin' some thinkin' and I realized we've never been on a date."

 

"Wait, yea we have. Movie nights count as dates."

 

"No, they don't. I mean a real date, like dinner or some other romantic shtick like that. It's been 6 months and we've never done anything like that yet."

 

"I guess you're right. But where would we even go? It's not like we can just waltz out into the streets of New York and find a restaurant or something, Donnie's gadget to turn you guys human broke."

 

"Don't worry about it. Just be ready tomorrow by 7ish." I nodded as he stood up and stretched, "Alright, I gotta head out. I had to sneak out to come see you since it's daylight." He groaned, "I can already hear the lecture Leo's gonna give me."

 

I snorted, "Good luck babe." After kissing my forehead he left out the window. I started to freak out, how could I have forgotten our anniversary! Raph's normally the forgetful one, not me! I let out a loud groan, damn him for being cute and planning a date! How would that even work though? Was he going to wear a trench coat and a turtle neck? Oh my god, a turtle neck on a mutant turtle, there's got to be a joke there somewhere. My phone went off; it was a text from April,

 

"I'm choosing your outfit for tomorrow." I shook my head.

 

"Dammit O'Neal, I've been dating him for almost 6 months, I could show up in just a potato sack and he wouldn't care."

 

"It's your first real date with him!" There was a few seconds before she sent another text, "YOU DONT GET A CHOICE" Alright that settles that.

 

True to her word, April showed up the next day to help me pick out an outfit, unfortunately for me, it was at 6 in the morning, right before school started. We spent time styling my hair and doing my makeup too. I personally was never big on too much makeup so I wore some simple mascara, eyeliner, and some lip gloss. I didn't want to wear a dress, much to April's displeasure, but I did end up choosing light washed high waisted mom jeans with one of those leotard like shirts and some converse. Keeping it casual enough for school while still looking good. That dumbass, Jason, had the nerve to wolf whistle at me.

 

"Looking good (y/n)!" All it took was a glare and he scurried off behind his friends. Idiot. The rest of the day went pretty uneventful, I almost forgot my pill but thank goodness for phone alarms. I could hardly wait for the day to be over with so I could go on my date! When the final bell rang I hauled ass out of there so fast Sonic would've been proud. I had a few hours to kill before I had to meet Raph so I just played games on my phone until there was a knock at my window. I opened it up to see Mikey.

 

"Hey dudette? You ready?"

 

"Hey Mikey, no offense, but what are you doing here? I'm 99% sure I'm supposed to be on a date with your brother."

 

"Raph had to finish up something for you, but he sent me to pick you up."

 

"Oh, okay." I felt excitement course through my veins, what was he up to? Mikey handed me a blindfold.

 

"So it can be a surprise." Alrighty then. Putting on the blindfold I felt Mikey pick me up and jump to the nearest rooftop. After a few minutes he stopped and set me down. I felt a hand take mine and then take off the blindfold. I looked up into my turtle’s eyes, emerald green, such a pretty color.

 

"You know, I was half expecting you to show up in sweats and a t-shirt."

 

I rolled my eyes, "Hey babe, you look great too."

 

"Huh? OH! No you do look great- I mean better than great- No, wait! I mean-" I laughed at his scarlet tinted face.

 

'You've always been so easy to fluster." I kissed his cheek then looked behind him to see what he was up to. Raph was never the super mushy type, but my god the boy could have his moments. This was one of those moments. There were candles and flower petals leading to a blanket with a picnic basket on it. "Awwww Raphieee~" I left small little pecks all over his face, "It's beautiful."

 

"You know what else is beautiful?" Oh no, was he really gonna do this? "Spike, my pet turtle."

 

"Okay, date over I'd like to go home now." I pretended to start to walk away.

 

"Nope, I spent wayyy too much time on this for you to leave after a few seconds. You know you're beautiful, so can it and sit so we can eat the food I made." Aww, tough love from Raph. I'd have it no other way though.

 

The mention of him cooking caught my attention, "You cooked? Yes! What is it?"

 

"Enchiladas and I had April get us slushies since you like those so much." We sat down on the blanket and ate our food under the stars. I enjoyed the simpler things and he knew that, I was never really a big fan of the whole, expensive dinner date idea.

I'd rather do something like this. We finished all the food and lay staring up the stars. I was curled up into his side with his arm around me.

 

We remained silent until suddenly he spoke up. "I can't believe it's been 6 months."

 

"Me neither, it really flew by didn't it?" He nodded. "Here's to hoping for a lot more time together."

 

"Hey, (y/n)?' I looked up at him, there was a pained expression on his face, "Are you sure you're okay with a mutant like me as your boyfriend?"

 

I moved so I could look him in the eye. Laying on his chest I spoke, "Dude, seriously? Of course I am! Have you seen yourself Raph, muscles of a god, eyes as green as emeralds, I mean sure you have a bit of a temper, but I do too and besides, you almost always apologize for it. You're always willing to help others when they need it, you always train so hard so you can protect your family, you put up with my shit, and you have a heart of gold. Why wouldn't I want to be with you when I admire you so much?"

The look on his face was priceless he was speechless, mouth slightly open and a light blush dusted his cheek. He smiled softly.

 

"God I love you."

 

"Heh, I love you too." We kissed each other softly until his phone went off.

 

"Dammit Leo, You said you wouldn't call me-" He paused, "Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a twist, I'll be over in a little bit." He hung up the phone, looking at me apologetically.

 

"You're good Raph. Go help save the world; I'll still be here tomorrow."

 

"I'm at least dropping you off; I ain't gonna make you walk home by yourself. I know you can take care of yourself, but humor me please."

 

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he started hopping roof to roof. He held me close and kissed his jawline as we got closer to my roof, "Uh, babe? I'm gonna have to ask you to stop so I don't accidentally drop you."

 

"Am I distraction Raphael?"

 

He groaned, "Yes, now cut it out or else I won't be able leave."

 

When we made it back to the roof he stared deep into my eyes before touching our foreheads together, "Love you (y/n)."

 

I smiled, "Love you too," I kissed him, "now go kick some ass!" He ran off to meet his brothers and I watched him go from the fire escape. When he was out of my sight I turned my gaze up to the stars, blissfully thinking of the nights events.

 

"Hello (y/n)." My thoughts were broken by a girl in armor. I looked her over, she was tall with dark hair, Asian, wore thick black eyeliner, and had multiple piercings. I'd never seen her before.

 

"Do I know you?"

 

"No, but I know you." Hm. That's not very helpful.

 

"Okay... Soooo, are you going to introduce yourself or what?" She just stood on the railing, silently looking down on me with a small smile on her face. She offered no response. We stood there, just staring at each other for a bit, something about her wasn't right. How long was she standing there before I'd noticed her? Did she see Raph? She made me uneasy, time to get out of here, "Alrighty, this has been a really great talk but it's late so I'm gonna head inside." I took a step towards my window but her blade cut me off.

 

"Sorry, but I can't let you do that. You're involved with the turtles and we've been watching you for the past week now. You're close to them and we're going to use you to get to them." She snapped her finger and two mutants I'd never seen appeared on the roof, one looked to be some sort of super mutated dog and the other was a purple fish with legs.

 

"Surrender to us and it'll make your life much less painful." Adrenaline pumped through my veins and the rush of blood could be heard in my head. This was bad.

 

The fish spoke up, "Listen girly, you're no match for us so just make this easy for yourself and come quiet-" I jumped up to the roof and kicked him off it. He screamed as he fell and a loud, "OOMPH" could be heard when he hit the bottom. I was on the top floor so he had fallen pretty far. I didn't wait for the other mutant to attack, instead I started throwing punches. He managed to dodge them, still taken by surprise at my outburst. The girl stood and watched as I pushed him back towards the edge of the roof. I went to kick him off but he grabbed my leg and swung around then down onto the hard cement. I let out a cry of pain. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a fist coming towards my face, I barely managed to scramble out of the way. I swiftly stood, and to my horror where my head was previously, now had a crater from his fist. I was lucky, that's for sure. He came at me with a roar; fists raised high above his head ready to crush me in one swing. I jumped backwards and out of the way. I got closer to him so I could go back on the offense, I unleashed a series of quick jabs at his chest then threw a left uppercut at his jaw. He staggered a little before regaining his balance and kicking me away from him. I flew hard onto the next building’s roof. This guy r4eally packed a punch! I felt something wet grab me from behind, the fish guy was awake already?! I bashed the back of my skull into his face multiple times before he let go. Whipping around I kicked his metal legs out from under him; the moment he fell I axe kicked him in the face as hard as I could. He tried to get up so I did it again, this time he stopped moving.

 

"Fishface, you're so useless." The dog mutant muttered as he made it to where I had landed. My breathing was labored, I could feel my muscles aching from the over exertion of the fight. It had been awhile since I'd had to fight this intensely and I was feeling it. I didn't want to play this rough with the guys, I was afraid I'd hurt them. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and charged at the last mutant standing. He tried to throw a punch but with the momentum of my speed, all I had to do was drop to my knees and slide past him, tearing holes on the knees of my new jeans. Good thing I didn't wear a dress like April wanted. I was finally behind him, so I wrapping my legs around the back of his and put my heels inside the his thighs, then moving so he was now in a triangle choke. I squeezed as hard as I could and the beast fell to the ground. He was desperately trying to claw me off but I held on as tight as I could. He rolled around, dug his claws into my arms, nothing worked and eventually he passed out. I counted to 10 to make sure he'd stay knocked out for a while then let go. I could barely stand as I looked back to my apartment window. I wanted to go back to bed so bad, but I knew I couldn't stay here, they knew where I lived. Wait a second. I squinted at the fire escape, Where was the girl with them? There was an explosion of pain behind my eyes and the world went black.

 

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A/N:

LOL sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger >:)) I am sorry for not posting in a while though, I've been in college for a few weeks now and I had this chapter osted on quotev but not on here. :/ My bad.

Fun Fact:

This is the shortest chapter so far!


	7. You Break

WARNING GORE AHEAD YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

 

It felt as though my brain was trying to escape from my skull, the pain so intense and throbbing I wanted to cry. I went to rub my temples to try and alleviate the pain, but my arms were restrained behind my back with rope. Where was I? Looking around the dingy, plain, and poorly lit room offered no answers. There was only a barred door, like the ones you see in jail cells. Was I in a jail? No, no way, I didn't do anything illegal last night did I? I tried to remember what had happened; Raphael and I went on a date, he got a call from Leo and left, and then I got in a fight with some mutants, but then what happened? All I remember is a sharp pain- realization dawned upon me. It had to be the foot clan! Jeez, how did those losers manage to beat me? I had taken down those two mutants no problem, but that girl must've been waiting for me to get tired before she took me out. Dammit! Raph and the guys are going to be worried sick!

 

A loud bang caught my attention and I turned to see the same girl from earlier. Now that I'd put the pieces together I knew who she was. "Karai..."

 

"Oh, so you do know me? I bet it's been only good things from those turtles." She held a tray of food in her hands as she spoke; my stomach growled at the sight of it. The last thing I'd eaten was the enchiladas with Raph and who knows how long ago that was. Karai slid the food under the slot and towards me, careful not to stick her hand under too, a smart move. I immediately chowed down on the gruel she'd brought me. "I'm surprised you aren't more wary. It could be poisoned."

 

I stopped eating, burped, and then spoke. "Well the way I see it, you need me to get a hold of the guys’ right? You wouldn't poison a hostage, especially if you need them alive."

 

She looked at me thoughtfully, "Huh. So you aren't as stupid as you look."

 

"Lady, I can speak 5 languages fluently and kick your little posse's ass with ease. I'm definitely not stupid."

 

"The last one doesn't really have to do with brains though does it? That's all instinct and years of training." I'd give her that, but it did take some brains to figure out a plan to beat your opponent, just charging in with no plan is never a good idea. Unfortunately that's what Raph normally does. "You know, you don't fight the same as the turtles. Hamato Yoshi was not your sensei was he?"

 

Shaking my head I told her, "No, I've had many teachers in my life."

 

"I can tell. The way you fight is a flurry of raw power and complete savagery. The turtles would never be able to go to that level. You’re ruthless, not allowing you opponent to escape, nor time to gather themselves. It was almost like watching a war machine fight." There it was again. That phrase, "war machine", I hated it. I hated it so much. Karai must of realized she'd gotten to me because there was a knowing grin on her face. She pushed farther, "I've seen your fight at that high school, one of our inside people sent us the video of it. That predatory look in your eye when you stood over that boy would be enough to make most grown men cry. I could see how badly you wanted to hurt him. The precision of each hit you landed on him could only be from years of practice. As if you were programed for fighting, nothing more, nothing less." I growled and she chuckled, "You're dangerous. You want to fight, you LIKED hurting them." I lunged at the bars and bared my teeth at her, she didn't even flinch, "and you aren't in control of your emotions either. Are they what fuel your will to fight? Let’s find out." The door opened and I lunged at her, my hands were still tied behind my back but I didn't let that stop me. She ran, laughing, into a large room with glass floors. There was a throne sitting at the top of a set of stairs and a man sat in it, staring down at me. I met his glare with one of my own. This must be the shredder. Splinter had warned me of him, how dangerous he was and the guys said he looked scary but quite frankly, I thought his armor was ridiculous. Only a toddler should be afraid of this guy.  "Father, I've brought the girl like you asked." God dammit, she only riled me up to bring me here.

 

There was a loud beep then my cuffs fell off, “I want to see what she can do." I stood there for a moment assessing the situation and mentally preparing myself. I was still hurting from the last fight I had, I should try and avoid her hits for a bit. Only strike when she's open.

 

"Come on you bloodthirsty fighter, let's do this!" She had drawn her blade. Great. Here I was weaponless as always and she had a knife, seemed a little unfair to me but oh well, that's just life I guess. With a cry she ran at me and the fight began.

 

What felt like years later, I was on the ground curled into the fetal position. Karai wasn't in much better shape herself. I had done a  leg lock on her and now her knee was probably torn out of socket, earlier I had almost broken her ribs by doing a ground and pound with my elbows. Not to mention I bit her so hard I broke through skin at one point. She deserved it though. The only reason she beat me is because of that stupid blade, she wielded that thing like a pro and if this were a fair fight I would respect the way she used it. She had sliced my stomach and now I was bleeding on the floor, it wasn't too deep of a cut, but man did it hurt like a bitch!

 

"Good Karai. Now make sure the turtles are captured when they come for her and make sure her wounds are taken care of. You are dismissed." She barely managed a bow as one of the foot soldiers picked me up, I blacked out. I woke up the next day hurting all over and with a pounding head ache. I heard the door open and looked up to see that dumb dog pound guy from earlier.

 

"Wake up girlie. Shredder wants to see you." Great. Just fantastic. I was dragged out of my cell and onto the top floor. The big baddy himself was sitting in his throne looking down at me.

 

"You. Karai tells me of your feats in competitions. Tell me, are you as ruthless as she says?"

 

"I'm NOT ruthless. I just don't hold back against people who are assholes, like your daughter and those two goons you sent after me." A foot soldier stepped forwards.

 

"Fight this soldier. I want to see this myself." The dude was scrawny, the typically foot ninja suit looked baggy on him and he was practically vibrating from how badly he was shaking.

 

"I'm sure as hell not fighting someone who doesn't know what they’re doing. Look at him! He's clearly new."

 

"You will do as I say or else." He voice had a dark edge to it. I knew he meant business, but I refused to fight someone this poorly trained unless I absolutely had to.

 

"Or else what you giant tin can?" That must've really pissed him off because after I blinked he was already in front of me, his fist pulled back to connect with my face!  I didn't have enough time or energy to dodge it. The pain that exploded in my head as it connected with the ground was unbearable! I cried out in pain and held my head. I didn't even notice Shredder stalking over towards me. His leg connected with my chest with enough force to feel my heart stop for a second. I began to cough up blood. My pill! SHIT!

 

"Looking for this?" I glanced up and saw my pill held between his fingers. How did they get their greasy little hands on my pills! I reminded myself it doesn't matter right now and desperately reached out for the blue pill. He kicked me again so I rolled all the way across the floor. "Do as I say or you won't get this."

 

"N-no!" I couldn't! Sensei always said to never pray on the weak, and I wasn't about to give that up just because of some bully! He must not have liked my answer because he gestured for his cronies to come and pin my arms down. What was he planning? He handed hone of the ninja's a knife.

 

"Get her to agree. No matter what." The knife was dragged across the skin on my neck and slowly, agonizingly, cut me. I managed to stay quiet as he practically tortured me until he moved to stomach, right over the scar from Raph. It was always extremely sensitive so when he suddenly sawed the jagged knife through the same spot I almost passed out. The noise I had let out was animalistic at heart, and gave away all the pain I was feeling.

 

"I'LL DO IT!" Tears streamed down my face. I was fading fast so I had to make this quick. I was released and given my pill. I still felt like crap as I raced towards the poor kid I was about to hurt. I quickly took him down but Shredder wasn't satisfied.

 

"More. Break him. The weak don't deserve to be let off so easy." I looked down at the bloody pulp that I had turned the kid into.  "If you don't do as I say, you know what'll happen." I swayed over to the newbie, his eyes shone with tears as he looked up at me, begging me silently to not do it. To stay strong. But I couldn't, I was almost out and I'm sure this guy wasn't against waiting until I woke up tomorrow to torture me again. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I took his arm and snapped his elbow backwards over my knee. The sound was sickening and the sight of the bones poking through the skin was even worse. I blacked out immediately.

 

My dreams were filled with screams, my own, the poor foot soldier's. It shifted to Sensei looking down at me, disgust evident in his eyes and on his face. "You are no student of mine." In my dream, I reached out for him, but suddenly I was falling. Before I fell too far, a green hand grabbed mine. I looked up, relieved to see Raphael's face.

 

At first there was concern in his eyes, but it quickly changed to fear. "What are you?" I was confused at his question. I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out. "YOU'RE A MONSTER!" He released me and, I was falling again. I woke up before I hit the ground. I was covered in sweat and blood from the fight the previous night. I looked down at my hands, I had never, EVER, done something like that before. I had promised my mom to never hurt someone like that no matter what.  I had just broken the last promise I'd ever made to her and it hurt. I was still crying when a soldier came to bandage me up and give me my meds. I wasn't taken back up to that room that day, but the following day was a different story. I was nowhere close to being completely healed, but they didn't care. I was told to do the same thing. At first I held back, but when Shredder realized what I was doing, they tortured me again until I swore I wouldn't do it again. I snapped bones in half, sliced through organs, always avoiding the heart and vitals. I would never kill. That was the final promise to myself and my mom. A pathetic attempt to keep my mother’s promise. I had already maimed these soldiers, but I hadn't killed them, and that was my mom's second part of the promise. That day had exhausted me and the screams haunted me all night, effectively keeping me awake.

 

Two and a half weeks had passed since that night. Everyday Shredder would have me fight a few of his soldiers, and every day I left them a bloody broken mess. I had tried to resist one last time but, it was no use. I went to bed every night ashamed of myself, ashamed of my actions. If the guys ever found out, they'd be afraid of me. Speaking of the turtles, they had yet to show up to get me out of here. It doesn't help I don't know where the guys are. Normally they would've been here shortly after they realized I was missing, but I'd yet to see them. It was actually hurting me, I knew there had to be a reason but could it just be they didn't care about me? I shook my head. No. Raph would never let them just leave me here, and besides the turtles are pretty much my family. They would never leave me in the Shredder's clutches! Not for too long anyway  I had looked for a way out of here, but there was nothing! No doors, no sliding windows, none of the vents even unscrewed like in the movies! I hated it here.  .  At first I wasn't sure why he had me fight them, I thought it was for his own amusement, but I soon realized I was punishing the newbies. They would be shoved in the room, shaking and fear evident on their faces, despite their masks. Tonight was odd because the walking talking tin can wasn't sitting in his throne to witness someone get the shit beat out of them. Where was he?

 

"Get ready to get your ass beat newbie. You think you're hot shit because you have a little training? Well guess what kid, it's time for you to learn some manners." Oh yay, my next victim. How great. The poor soul shoved through the door didn't look frightened at all. He stood tall and glared at the ninja who'd shoved him through. He noticed me standing in the center and seemed to be just staring at me, what was this guy’s problem? The stare I gave him back was a blank one. I knew what I had to do, and the sooner I got it done, the sooner I could go back to my cell.

 

Karai sat in her father's chair, a bored expression on her face. "Come on (y/n), you know what to do. Can you make it a little more interesting this time? The last few people have been boring to watch." I shot her a glare, the most resilient thing I did towards them at this point. "Just do it." I groaned and took my stance.

 

"I'm so sorry. Please believe, I don't really want to do this but if I don't I'll tortured." The guy stayed quiet and took a fighters stance. Huh, maybe this won’t be so quick after all. He charged at me first, taking me by surprise with his speed. I ducked out of the way from his fist before spinning around and send a kick towards him. Grabbing my leg he swung me around easily onto my back. It wasn't too hard, as if he was holding back or something. Why would he though? He pinned me to the floor, straddling me with his legs, and arms pinning down both of mine. He leaned in close and I did the only thing I could, I bit him. I bit his nose so hard, I tasted blood. He immediately lurched away letting out a hiss of pain as the mask came off his head. I found myself staring up at a very familiar face.

 

He stared down at me with his emerald eyes as his dark brown hair surrounded his face. There's no way it could be him. Right? "R-Raph."

 

The boy grinned, "Hey (y/n)." I was about to cry but an alarm went off, the lights flashed red as a warning for incoming danger. "Get ready to run," he muttered as he helped me stand.

 

"Stockman! What's going on!" Karai was furious as she screamed at the mutant fly that had just came in.

 

"I-It’s the turtles! There's three of them here! They're getting clo-" He stopped as all the light s suddenly went out. It was pitch black and the siren had fallen silent.

 

"Don't let go." Raph's voice was barely a whisper, but I had heard it clear as day. There was a loud bang as what sounded like the elevator door was forcibly opened. I could tell by the noises the guards in the room were being taken care of. Not even a few minutes later, April came crashing through the window, providing some drastic lighting. From what I could see, Karai and a few other foot soldiers were the only ones still standing. "NOW!" Raph and I hauled ass towards where April was. A shiruken came between us and I stopped so quickly my hand was ripped out of his. "(Y/n)!" he cried out.

 

"Keep going you guys, I'll hold them off!" I stood my ground as Leo, Donnie, Mikey, then April left through the window. I fought them as I went up the stairs to the window ledge, when I reached the top step I took all the strength I had left to kick the first one down the stairs and into their comrades. I sprinted to the window where here was a zip line attached to another building down below.

 

"(Y/N), YOU'RE GONNA PAY WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Karai's voice sent chills down my spine as I flashed back to the beating her father had given me. I had been so broken it had taken me days to fully heal. Pulling myself out of that memory before it completely absorbed me, I grabbed the bar. Speeding down the line towards freedom, I wanted to cry. I had been through so much the past few weeks, I was forced to do things I never normally would, I was beaten, maimed, bruised, and used. But now I'm free! My makeshift family hadn't abandoned or forgotten me! I realize now how much I'd missed them all. As I got close to the roof, Raph was there waiting with his arms wide open, a huge grin on his face. I was over the edge when I let go of the bar and crashed into his arms. He stood there holding me tightly as I sobbed into his shoulder. When I finally looked up at his face, he was back to being a turtle and I cried harder. This, this was the face I'd missed the most out of them all. Not April's, not even my dad's, but his. He softly pressed his lips to each of my cheeks.

 

"You're safe now (Y/n), you're safe." He held me as tight as he could and when I looked around at my friends, I reached out for them and suddenly it was a group hug. No one said a word, but I could feel how much they had been worried, especially since Mikey started sobbing loudly. I felt the weight of what'd I'd done begin to weigh on me. I didn't deserve these people in my life. I was capable of doing horrible things, unspeakable things to people I didn't know. People who'd done nothing to me. Leo pulled away and finally spoke up.

 

"We can't stay here any longer. It's too close to the building. Let's head home where they can't get to us." They group agreed and after Mikey cut the line we ran for home.

 

When we reached the lair, Sensei was eagerly waiting. When I saw him, the tears started back up. He embraced me and I clung to him tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Sensei. I had to give in. I'm so sorry!" The group watched in confusion. I didn't dare look up at Splinter.

 

'(Y/n) what are you talking about?" The nightmare from what felt like an eternity came rushing forwards in my mind. I stiffened up, not wanting to admit to my teacher what I had done. "(Y/n)?" When I still did not answer he spoke again. "My sons, I will be in the dojo with her. April, can you please make some tea and bring it in when you're done?" With that he lead me off towards the dojo. I clung to his robe like a child the whole way there. He sat me down across from him and asked, "What is bothering you (Y/n)? You are home. You are free now. They cannot get you here."

 

I couldn't meet his gaze, I was still too ashamed. "I'm sorry Sensei, I had to- I had to hurt so many people. I broke the promise I'd made to my mom. The last one actually. She saw how talented I was gat martial arts and made me swear to her on her death bed I wouldn't use my talent to hurt innocent people. But I did it anyway to save my own skin and I- I-" It became incoherent babbling very quickly and Sensei looked concerned. My hands twisted into my hair to try and keep my head together. A knock at the door drew me out of my thoughts. Tears still in my eyes as I looked behind me to see Raphael with the tea.

 

"Uh, April thought you would want to see me more than her and sent me instead." The waterworks started again. I don't deserve them as friends.

 

"Do you want him to stay?" I nodded and Raph sat down next to me after handing us our tea. Taking a calming sip I leaned my head on his shoulder.

 

"I had to ignore your teachings too Sensei. I just, I feel so ashamed I did that. I should've just let him beat me, I should've tried to fight back more! I could've done something else! Anything else but what I did!" I sniffled, "I feel like such shit for what I did. Karai was right, I'm just a ruthless war machine. Good for nothing but hurting others." I felt Raph stiffen next to me, he wanted to say something didn't he.

 

Splinter spoke instead. "That's what matters, you regret your actions. If you didn't then I would be concerned, but (y/n), you do. Are you worried I'm disappointed?" I nodded, "Well I'm not. You did what you needed to do to survive and you're home now." I nodded as Raph's arms snaked around my waist, trying to comfort me.

 

"I'm so sorry (y/n). The second we realized you were missing I wanted to storm the Shredder's lair but when we tried the first time there were too many guards around your cell so we realized we'd need a better plan. Donnie decided to fix his cloaking device and one of us would go undercover as a foot soldier newbie and he would need time to get that figured out and Leo needed time to figure out the rest of the plan and then I spent the next two weeks trying to figure out how to get to you. One of the soldiers said something about how bad recruits got sent to the Timber wolf and I knew that was you so I told Leo and we commenced the plan today."

 

" I'm glad you guys rescued me. I don't know what I would've done if you'd been any later. I felt like I- like I just broke. Like he broke me. He tortured me to the point where I couldn't think straight and I hate that it happened so quickly. I should be stronger! I've been through so much already with my mom dying, and my Sensei's before you, it shouldn't have been so easy! I feel so, so used!" I buried my face in my hands and fell apart once more. Raph hugged me tightly but that didn't help, I just felt more disgusted with myself!

 

"(Y/n), I can see these wounds are not physical, but mental and can only be healed with time. I cannot do much, other than promise you that you should not blame yourself for trying to survive. It is instinct to survive, to try and continue living. Do not beat yourself up for wanting to keep living." I sniffled held on to Raph.

 

"Can I say somethin'?" I looked up at him, worried what he might say to me. Would he still want to be with me after watching me crumble? "I think if your ma' was still here, she 'd want you to live. I think she'd understand why you did what you did and forgive you for breaking your promise to you. Isn't that what mom's do? They love their kids no matter what, they forgive them for their mistakes." Hearing Raph say that made me smile. After I finished my tea, I took a calming breathe and stood.

 

"Are you feeling a little better now that you've talked about it for a few hours?" A few hours? No way. One look at the clock revealed it had in fact been over two hours, which would explain why my tea was cold.

 

I nodded,  "Thank you Sensei." He nodded, "thanks to you too Raph."

 

"Don't mention it, I'm always here for you."

 

I left the dojo and headed straight to the dojo. They didn't let me shower back at that dreaded place so I probably smelled pretty ripe at this point. Once I finished the shower, I crawled into Raph's bed with him. He was already asleep, but he immediately grabbed a hold of me and held me close. I smiled and started to drift off into sleep. I didn't hear the screams, just Raph's soft snoring lulling me to sleep. Instead of the usual nightmare, I dreamed of my mother. I hadn't done so in years. She looked as she did before the sickness made her lose all the weight and hollowed her face out. Her tall figure stood before me looking down, as if waiting for me to speak. So I did.

 

"Mom, I'm sorry. I broke the promise I'd made you and I just-" She shushed me and pulled me close.

 

We stood there silently until she whispered, "I forgive you." I woke up to the dimly lit room and Raphael's snores. I looked at him as he slept peacefully and knew everything would be okay. I would be okay.

 

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A/N:

Sweet Christ that took ages! I cranked out over half of this in one go, please be proud. I finally had the time to type and I was like, "I NEED TO FINISH THE CHAPTER." So here it is. In all it's 2:30AM caffeine induced glory. I'm not sure when the next one will be up because I'm currently torn between actually writing a cute fluff chapter to make up for all the angst of this chapter or if I should just post the chapter I already have written even though it's equally angsty. What do you guys think?


	8. An End to Something Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst continued. I promise there's more cute stuff planned without angst!

Raph and I have been dating for almost 9 months now. We've fought, of course I mean we're both stubborn as bulls, but we always make up. If we're being honest, my condition has worsened and shows no signs of improvement. I have to take my little blue pill every 6 hours now instead of the original 12 hours. I have to carry them with me so I don't forget, as forgetting to take them could end me. It’s really pissing me off.

Currently I'm sparring against Raph, and winning. I don't know what time it is but I can feel I need to take my pill soon. 

I ducked under his leg as he swung it up to kick me in the face. “You’re not nice to me Raphie!" I told him as I narrowly dodged a punch.

"Why should I go easy on you just because you're my girlfriend?" I gave him a look then began attacking instead of defending. He took a knee to the side and I went to kick him but he grabbed my leg. 

"Shit...." I murmured. He smiled and swung me so I lost balance and fell. The fight continued on like this, picking up intensity as time went on until Raph accidentally punched me in the stomach, sending me into a wall with his brute strength. I felt blood come up and out of my mouth, my pill was overdue! I tried to stand but the coughing fit began. Raph ran over to me and kneeled down to make sure I was okay. I made sure he stayed out of the way while I hacked up the blood. I managed to say, "My bag," before coughing once again. Raph raced out and back in, his brothers close on his tail on the way in.

"(Y/N)!" Mikey yelled worried. Raph ran over and handed me my bag. I tried to get out my pills but my hands kept fumbling around.

"Raph! What did you do!?" Leo yelled as Donnie kneeled down and watched helplessly as I coughed and hacked.

"W-we were sparring and I punched her.... too hard.... She went flying..." He looked me over, guilt clear in his eyes. Oh god, he thinks this is his fault. Nonononono! This isn't his fault at all! It's mine for forgetting my pill! I went to say something but my vision blacked out and I fainted hearing Leo, Mikey and Donnie yelling at him.

\--- A week later ---

My eyelids felt like weights that couldn't be lifted. A figure hovered over me, my father. I haven't seen him in some time since his job involves a lot of travelling and he's rarely home.

"Dad..." I muttered. He smiled.

"Hey pumpkin, how are you feeling?" He asked me, sadness and regret in his eyes.

"Like shit...." I told him as I sat up. He laughed and I smiled, I haven't heard his voice in a long time. 

Soon we got to talking and he finally asked the question I kept praying he wouldn't, "Why didn't you tell me you were getting worse." 

That's an easy one. "Because I didn't want you to worry about me and baby me." 

He shook his head at my response, "If you're sick you can't be pushing yourself! I'm not home to keep an eye on you all the time."

"You knew I was sick!" I hissed, "You knew I was sick and you left me all alone anyway!"

"But you never mentioned it was getting worse!" He yelled back. I sat there annoyed, yes it was true I never told him I was getting worse, but I never considered it a big deal, it was just a part of my life. He sighed and started over, “So what happened? The doctor said a red head dropped you off. She said she got attacked and you protected her."

April. The red head must be April. It'll be easier to play dumb than come up with a lie. I'd have to remember all the details of my lie, and that'd be hard later on. I shook my head, "I don't remember anything after walking home with April." 

He groaned, "That's unfortunate, April doesn't remember what the attackers look like, and you don't even remember the fight! The police will never catch them now..." 

I kept quiet and after a while he left. Time flies by as the nurse brings me my pills methodically. I watch T.V. and eventually I start to fall asleep again. 

Right as I finally make it to dream land, I see something at my window. I get up, wincing, and walk over to the window to inspect whatever just flew by it. Suddenly an orange masked turtle squishes his face against the window almost making me scream. I can tell he's laughing and after I open the window he climbs in.

"God dammit, Mikey!" I whisper. He laughs loudly until Leo covers his mouth. Were they all here? I watched as Donnie barely made it through the window.

"Shhh!" Leo tells him, "We don't want to get caught here! How would (Y/n) explain three large mutant turtles in her room to the doctors?" 

"Oh yea, didn't think of that." Mikey admitted sheepishly. Wait, three turtles?

"Where's Raph?" I asked them.

"He's back in the lair; he um... didn't want to come..." Donnie told me, his voice getting smaller and smaller as he finished his sentence. What. The. Fuck.

"HE-!" I started to yell. My mouth was quickly covered by three green hands. "Sorry," I muttered, "but why didn't he want to come see me!" I pouted and sat on my bed, my legs were starting to ache. 

"Try to understand, Raph knows this is his fault-" I stopped Leo right there.

“This isn't his fault." I told them.

"But he totally punched you into that wall! You went flying!" Mikey told me, he was quickly shushed by his two older brothers.

I shook my head, "But that's not why I was coughing up so much blood." They stared at me and I sighed, I have to tell them. "I have a disease in my lungs which causes blood to build up in them, I have to cough to get it all up, and if I don't take my pill every 6 hours, too much blood builds up, causing that violent cough, like in the dojo. Otherwise I'll drown in my own blood."

They all stared at me dumbstruck until Donnie spoke up, "Is it deadly?"

"If I don't take my pill, then yea. The blood build up fills my lungs and I could either die from lack of oxygen, or the blood would keep pouring out of my lungs, and spill out of my mouth like a faucet. So basically I'd either die by drowning in my own blood or from excess blood loss.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier" Leo asked.

"I didn't want you guys babying me, or thinking I'm weak."

"Well if you're sick, you shouldn't push yourself!" This conversation was sounding eerily familiar.

"He's right dudette. What if you had died? Think about Raph. He'd be like, completely crushed." I looked at Mikey, for once he was right. It was kind of selfish not telling them, or anyone else for that matter.

I squirmed in my seat, I hated being in the wrong. "You're right, I'm sorry for not telling you guys sooner."

They all sighed and Donnie told me, "It's fine. We'll send Raph over tomorrow night to come see you." I nodded, told them thanks and they left through the window. After I closed it, I fell back into a dreamless asleep.

When I woke up the next day, it was pouring out. I sighed, so much for enjoying the fresh air. I would be stuck in this room bored out of my mind, and Raph wouldn't be able to visit me during the day since he is a giant mutant turtle and it’s raining. Oh my god this was going to be a long ass day. Shoot me now. The only entertainment I had was the TV, which only had three stations. The news, Boomerang, and some old black and white TV shows like I Love Lucy and those old western shows. I guess I would have to watch Boomerang. As I was watching old Pokémon episodes I felt myself be overrun by boredom. Why didn't my dad bring my drawing things? I'd rather draw than sit here and feel my brain melt out my ears. I let out a long and loud groan of frustration. Soon a nurse came in and gave me my pills. After taking a huge sip of water to get them down, I began to feel sleepy. I must be more tired than I thought because once I laid down I immediately fell asleep. She woke me up six hours later at 6pm exactly. I ate some dinner and fell back asleep after taking my pills. I was woken up again at midnight to take two more pills. I was getting annoyed, I just wanted to sleep and not be woken up, I went back to sleep.

A loud knocking woke me up again. I stood and went to my door, opening it only to see that no one was there. The nurse at the desk saw me, "Everything okay?” I nodded sleepily and went back into my room, shutting the door behind me. 

I heard the knock again and turned around; it was coming from the window. When I looked at the window I saw my turtle looking back at me. I grinned and walked over to the window to open it. Once Raph was inside I saw he was soaked from the rain as it continuously poured from the sky. Thunder boomed as I grabbed a towel from my bathroom and went to dry him off, but when I went to dry his face he grabbed my arm to stop me. I looked at him confused as to why he would stop me until I saw how hurt he looked. Uh oh.

"Why didn't you tell me you're sick?" He asked. Hearing the pain in his voice I cringed,

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd treat me like I'm weak, besides I-" 

"You could've died!" He yelled. I tried to quiet him so the night nurse wouldn't come investigate all the noise but he kept going, "You could've died and left me here! I could've thought it was all my fault! Something could've happened to you while I was on a mission and I would never have known! Do you not trust me? Is that it! You don't trust the freaky mutant?" 

"Raph honey, no that's-"

"Then why! Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Because I-"

"You know what? I don't want to hear it; I don't want to hear your excuses as to why you don't trust me. I know what you think of me. You think I'm a freak, a monster. You only like me because I'm different. I'm interesting, I know how you are, and how you think." What the hell was he talking about!?

"Raph please-"

"I'm leaving, (Y/n)." He turned to leave but I grabbed his shoulder.

"Raph please, just let me explain-” He just shook his head and pulled away from me.

"We're done." And what he left out the window. 

"RAPH!" I screamed and once I knew he wasn't coming back I cried. The nurse rushed in and found me like that. She helped me into bed as I continued to cry and hiccup. I could feel the snot running down from my nose. I didn't sleep well that night and when the nurse came at 6 to give me meds I was still awake, not crying, but laying there feeling numb. The next day I didn't eat, I didn't feel up to it. My dad came to visit me but I didn't really talk to him. I laid there and listened as he rambled on about his adventures and how he'd take me out for father daughter bonding once I got better, but first I'd have to eat so I could get healthy. I wasn't hungry though.

~~~ Time skip to a few weeks later ~~~~

They released me from the hospital. I've lost so much weight that I now weigh in at a whopping 102 pounds, something I haven't weighed since I was in 6th grade. I was repulsed by my own reflection in the mirror; I looked like a hollow shell of who I was before. I miss Raph; he hasn't visited me since the fight. I knew he wouldn't, but I wish he would. I haven't talked to the guys since the night they visited me, they must be pissed at me or something. April has visited me while I was at the hospital; she even brought me flowers when she visited. She tried to converse with me, but I wanted to be left alone.

As I walked out of the hospital, I saw my dad and April waiting by the car. Once they saw me walk out April ran to me and hugged me tightly. I smiled weakly, "Hey April." She released me from her death grip and I climbed in the car. I looked out the window while they both talked to me. I wasn't listening to them, which went unnoticed. I just want to go back to my apartment and be alone.

"Hey Cas, are you listening?" My dad asked. I looked at him, and he sighed. "April's aunt agreed to let her stay with you so you won't be alone if something happens." Great there goes that. I nodded so he knew I heard. 

Soon we arrived to my building. April grabbed my bag and started inside, I trailed behind her. My dad honked and drove off after saying he had to go to work. I sighed and walked up stairs to my apartment and April trailed behind me. Getting out my keys, I opened the door. Everything was exactly as I had left it, same apartment, same furniture, same boring me. How riveting. April shut the door behind her and looked at me, pity in her eyes.

"Don't look at me like that; he was just a dumb boy. A stupid turtle that I trusted." I felt myself start to tear up, "Sure he made me feel like I was worth something, that I wasn't just some martial arts machine. Not some girl with a crippling disease." I choked back a sob, "Hell I even loved him, and he loved me too. So what if that's gone now," with that sentence I broke, shattered into a million pieces in front of her. My sobs wracked my body so hard I felt a coughing fit start. April dropped what she was had in her arms and held me instead. I wailed into her shirt, "He's just a boy! There's so many of them so why does it hurt so bad!" 

Eventually April managed to calm me down, and helped me into my bed. She tucked me in and promised she'd be back in the morning. I didn't really care if she did it not, but I appreciated her being there for me. I let myself fall into a dreamless slumber, until some shit head decided to knock on my window. I grumbled as I stood to walk towards the window and once I opened the curtain I saw Mikey there. He had a box with him. Why? I let him inside, nervous as to what he had to say.

"Thanks dude. It's cold out there." I watched him silently; he looked at me nervously, "So uh... How've you been?"

"I doubt you genuinely care, but I'm not doing so hot. I have a crippling and potentially deadly disease running through my system and I just lost your brother because I decided not to tell him and I think you and your brothers hate me now. So no, I'm not doing so well, but thanks for asking." He stood there quietly, unsure of how to respond. There was a hurt look on his face and I immediately felt bad for snapping at him. "I'm sorry Mikey I just... I don't understand how to deal with this and I can't..." I trailed off, just standing there. Mikey's the brother I never had, hell they all are. I had no right taking my anger and frustration out on him. 

He just smiled and embraced me, "It's totally fine dudette. I get it; you're stressed out and didn't mean it. And why would you think we're mad at you? We've been busy is all. Fighting the Kraang and Shredder really takes it out of a mutant ya know?" I teared up again and let out a hiccup, "AH! No I didn't mean to make you cry!" I gave him a weak smile but broke down. He kept hugging me until I stopped crying. I was relieved they weren't mad at me! It had been bothering me every night as I lay in the hospital bed.

I wiped my eyes and regained my composure, "So what's in the box?" 

He grimaced, "Well... It's stuff from Raph." I could feel my heart plummet and my face pale, would I ever get a break? He handed me the box and I tore into it. The first thing I found was the letter I wrote him back when we first started dating, then I found the drawing of him I gave him last Christmas. I stared at it. Even now it still looked like him, I really did a good job with this. I let out a shaky breath. Mikey watched warily, ready to hug me if needed. "You okay?" I put the two items back in the box, there was more but I didn't have the strength to look at them right now.

"Honestly, no. But I don't think I'll cry again tonight..."

"Good, if you need anything just call us on the shell phones, one of us will be here in a flash." 

"Speaking of "us", where are your brothers?" 

"Leo is trying to find Raph. He ran off last night." I rolled my eyes, he's being dramatic as always. "Donnie is trying to track his T-phone, otherwise they'd totally be here now." His eyes lit up like he remembered something, "Oh! We made you something!" He pulled out a wrapped gift from by the window, how didn't I notice it before? I opened it after he handed it to me, it was brownies, my one weakness. 

"Awwww, Mikey! You guys are so sweet!" I ran to the kitchen to grab a butter knife to cut them, "Do you want one?"

"Nah, they're for you, we all helped make them. And I gotta get going. Have a nice night dudette!" He hugged me a final time before leaving. I sat on my couch eating my brownies and appreciating my friends. 

The following morning I woke up to take my pills and started my day. I looked out my window to see the city, I always loved New York when the sun started to rise. The way the sun reflected off the buildings was gorgeous, but it reminded me of Raph. We used to sit on the roof and watch the sun rise together every morning, we'd hold hand and he'd hold me close until he had to leave. I closed my blinds. As I went about my business in the morning I realized a lot of things reminded me of him. My apartment was full of memories with him. All the times we'd sparred, when he would spend the night, playing games with him and his brothers late into the night. I needed to get out of the apartment. I quickly changed into sneakers and my workout clothes before heading out. The semi-fresh air helped clear my head, until I passed by Mirigami's restaurant. I slowed my run to a walk, staring at the building. More memories started to resurface and tears sprang to my eyes. I forced myself to keep going forwards. I kept going along my route trying to block out memories. We would meet somewhere along my usual running route and hang out. As I came back in the door of my apartment, I collapsed on my bed. I wanted to stay here and make more memories with my friends, we'd already made so many memories but now those times now emotionally compromised me.

When April showed up a few days later I knew I needed to leave. I couldn't take being surrounded by him, and I told her that. Her solution? 

"Just move in with my aunt and I." 

"You don't understand, I can't stay in this city! If I do, all I'll think about is him. I don't want that..."

She sighed, "So what exactly do you suggest then?"

I thought for a moment, "My dad offered to go on a father daughter bonding trip at some point. I could do that. Maybe something familiar will help..."

"If that's what you really want, then go for it. Just... Promise to keep in touch?" 

"Of course Red, I wouldn't dream of not talking to you." 

She left shortly after. I called my dad and told him I wanted to go on that trip, he was excited to get to travel with me again. Mr. Assface was called to tutor me while we travelled again and two weeks later I was gone. I told the guys through text and they had shown up not even five minutes later. Donnie demanded an explanation, Leo was confused and Mikey was hurt. 

"You don't have to go, (y/n)! Why can't you just stay!"

Letting out a shaky breath I answered, "Everything here reminds me of him. I just need to time away from here to myself is all. I'll come back. Oh, and um." I felt myself start to tear up again, "I understand if you guys don't want to talk to me so there's no awkwardness between you guys and Raph." I forced a smile on my face, can't start crying now.

"(Y/n)..." Donnie looked at me sadly. 

Leo interjected, "Wait, did you actually think we'd want to drop you as a friend because of this?” I stood there for a minute before silently nodding, tears building up.

“(Y/n), nooooo!" I was enveloped in a huge hug by Mikey, then his brothers. "We could never just drop you! Right guys?" Leo and Donnie agreed and I felt tears of relief roll down my face. Soon I was sobbing loudly and hugging them tightly. I loved them like my own brothers, they were my closest friends and now I was leaving them. 

I actually made them cry a little too. Mikey was a mess, but Leo and Donnie were only a little teary-eyed. I'd been spending almost every day with them for the past year and now they wouldn't see me for who knows how long! Before I left I made sure to tell them how much I appreciated being friends with them, and I promised to keep in touch and come back eventually. With all my ends tied up, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I took the cab to the airport, met my dad at the terminal and boarded the plane. The plane was headed for one of the few places I'd never been. Iceland here I come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long! I finally had time to revise this bad boy and post it! Enjoy and tell me what ya'll think!


	9. Saying Goodbye To An Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:   
> Anxiety attack mention  
> Season 4 spoilers

WARNING: ANXIETY ATTACK MENTION ALSO Season 4 FINALE SPOILERS      

I held my weapon steadily in my hands, the weight of it nearly dragging me down. I was beyond exhausted from Alva, my newest trainer. She did not hold back one bit, not that I expected her to after living with her for a few months. The only reason I was here with her was because my dad felt as though I needed to "expand my horizons" in the world of fighting. We spent a lot of time looking for something that interested me, but wasn't going to be too easy. Eventually we agreed on an old medieval style weapon, a Warhammer. It seemed to be a good idea at the time, but actually figuring out how to use it without swinging myself in a circle proved otherwise. The thing was pretty, with ornate old carvings into the metal, unfortunately it weighed a ton. Okay it really only weighed 45 lbs., but it was still was hard to use because of the weight at the end!

My teacher was an older woman named Alva; she was one of the few people who could swing the dumb thing around accurately. Watching her smash a line of watermelons in one blow was a truly inspiring thing! She promised me I'd reach that point someday, but today was definitely not that day. She reminded me of Master Splinter in some ways, they were both extremely patient, but if you pushed their buttons a certain way they'd snap. They both liked the same tea and even drank it the same way, black. There was also their passion. Alva had a huge love for her homeland and its culture, just like Splinter! I'd been missing him lately, thinking of all the times we would chat about school or different types of tea; he even let me sketch him a few times! I kept the sketch I did of him and the guys in my room here.

"Stop!" Her voice cut through my train of thought. I looked up at her, exhaustion evident on my face. "That's enough for today; I don't want you over working yourself or something. We're up here in the mountains so if something were to happen to you, I'll have to haul your sorry ass all the way to the nearest village." She stuck her hand out to help me up and I gladly accepted it. "Speaking of the village," Oh no. "I need you to go into the village and pick up more groceries. Do it before sun down please." I looked up at the sky, the sun was right above my head, it had to be noon so that means I have about 8 hours until sundown. It takes an hour to get to the village and an hour to get back. Ughhh, it's going to take forever. "Remember there's reception and Wi-Fi in the village." HOLY SHIT THAT'S RIGHT! 

It's been well over a month since I've talked to any of my friends back in New York! April was probably worried sick! Holy crap, I could even video chat them if the Wi-Fi was working! I wonder what adventures they've been in since last time. From what they told me over the last year, a lot has happened. Karai is Splinter's daughter, Mateo was mutated, they had to hunt her down, the Kraang was up to no good as per usual until the turtles stopped them, they were in space to save the entire planet from some dinosaur aliens, April was possessed by an alien crystal, just good old normal NYC shenanigans. I don't think Alva has ever seen me move so fast, I was in the house and packed a bag with my cell phone, charger, and money for groceries. I made sure to change out of my stinky workout clothes before I left. I was almost out of the house and on my way to the village when Alva stopped me.

"Where's your hammer?" Dammit Alva, I was hoping she wouldn't notice! I sulked back to my room to grab it.

It should've taken me an hour to reach the village, but I managed it in 30. I was just so excited to talk to April and the guys! Well, everyone but Raphael. He and I haven't spoken once since he jumped out my hospital window late that night. It had been almost a year ago that I left, but I was still extremely bitter about it. After I grabbed what Alva wanted from the store, I sat down in the little diner they had here. It was a quaint place run by an elderly couple who made great hamburgers. I usually bought one whenever I was in town. Once the waitress took my order, I texted April to see if she was free to chat. She replied immediately that I could call now.

I waited anxiously for April to pick up, and when she finally did I squealed, "April!!!" 

She turned around and yelled, "Guys come on she's on the phone now!"

I heard a scream as an orange face bolted upwards into the phones view, "(Y/n)!!!! Oh my god dude, where have you been! You haven't called in forever!" Mikey pouted for emphasis.

Grinning sheepishly I replied, "I'm so sorry! I've been so busy with Alva and she hasn't needed me to come into town in a while." 

"Hmm," he tapped his chin, pretending to really think about it, "Guess I'll forgive you then!"

"Hey is that (Y/n) on the phone?" Donnie bent down into view and waved, "How's the countryside over there in Iceland?"

"It's kind of cold and foggy, but I like it. I don't like the hour long walk to civilization, but oh well," I shrugged, "what can you do?" 

I heard a voice from off the screen, "Is she still on? I just finished meditating."

April nodded, "Yea Leo, she's still here."

His face popped in and he gave me a weak smile, "Hey, it's been awhile. How's training?"

"It honestly sucks.  This thing is a pain to lug around." I pulled it into view, "It's pretty and it definitely packs a punch, but my god does it tire me out." They admired the heavy weapon for a moment before April spoke.

"Is the air there helping at all with your lungs?" 

Aw, Mama April is making sure I'm okay. "I think so, I don't take the pills as frequently as before." We started chatting about where I was staying, I showed them the arms muscles I'd been developing from Alva's intense training and at some point my food had showed up. I looked away from the screen to grab my food, "So where's Splinter? Normally he's here to listen and chat too." He ALWAYS made sure to keep up with what was going on with me, he considered me to be one of his kids and I thought of him as a second dad. I looked back at the screen, and everyone wore very grim expressions. "Uh guys? What's wrong?"

Leo muttered, "We need to tell her, it's not right to keep it from her." 

"Tell me what? Guys come on, you're scaring me. If this is a prank or something it's not funny." Mikey broke down, sobbing loudly into Donnie's shoulder. No. No no no no no. I set my food down and pushed it away, nausea had set in.

"How-  no wait, why- When-" My brain failed to make proper sentences as it raced, making me dizzy in the process. Memories from living with the turtles came to mind. Late night tea with Splinter, training sessions, movie nights, being scolded, board games, and even when he would crack a rare joke with us. All that and more span around in my head as tears came to my eyes. 

April finally broke the silence, "It was an accident, we thought Shredder was dead-" 

Leo shook his head, "It’s all my fault. I should've realized they were leading us into a trap." He buried his face in his hands as Donnie rubbed his brothers' backs.

"Leo, it's not your fault. None of us knew what was coming." He looked at me and gave me a strained smile. Now that I was actually looking at them, I could see the bags under their eyes. They were all beyond exhausted. Donnie began explaining. He said they were hunting down Shredder after he had used mutagen to become Super Shredder to kidnap Karai. Splinter came along to help but was severely injured and flung off the roof of a skyscraper and slammed into the ground full force. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. I left and this shit happens. Of course. OF FUCKING COURSE!" I banged the table and ignored the stares I was getting from the few other customers in the store.

Leo tried to say something, "(Y/n)-"

"I'm coming home, right this second." Leo stopped me, he looked beyond tired.

"(Y/n) no. Splinter would have wanted you to finish your training, you've been working towards this for months now."

April wiped her eyes, "He's right. He would talk about wondering what you're up to. He was proud you were able to expand your skill set more."

"But, I want to see his grave. I need to mourn him too! I'm all alone here guys!" I sobbed, "I don't have anyone to help through this. He's family to me too!"

Mikey's cries quieted as he looked into the camera, "You know we want you here Cas, but-" he sniffled, "you have to stay there for now. Dad would understand."

Donnie chimed in, "Besides, wasn't it really expensive for your dad to get you there? You said your teacher, Alva, was expensive." She was way too expensive, but at least she was a good teacher. She wouldn't take me back if I left all of sudden though. Damn Donnie for being right!

I wiped my nose with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, "Fine. I'll mourn him here." I pointed my finger at them, noticing how shaky it was. "But when I come back, I'm visiting him immediately." They all nodded in agreement. Trying to calm my racing heart, I decided to put on my big girl panties and ask the question I'd been thinking the whole time. "How's Raph taking this?"

They looked amongst themselves before April spoke up. "Not too well.  He holed himself up in his room for a few days after we beat Shredder. After that he's been kind of quiet, you know, quiet for Raph quiet." I snorted, I certainly did know. 

"How long ago did this happen?"

"Almost a month now." Jesus Christ, right after I'd last talked to them too. I shook my head and lowered it into my hands, I couldn't process this right now. This was supposed to be a fun day, I was supposed to go into town and catch up with my friends and enjoy some diner food, not be crying over the loss of a loved one. I felt as though my world had just crashed around me. I was numb. I could hear the guys talking, but I wasn't really listening. I was more focused on trying not to hyperventilate and not sweating through my clothes. I could hear them calling my name but I wasn't responding, I wasn't really there. It felt as though this was all happening to someone else, not me. 

 

(April's P.O.V.)

She wasn't responding to any of us and it was freaking everyone out. The expression on her face was blank and although she was looking at us, it seemed like she was somewhere else. I'd seen her like this before but I was never to bring her out of it. She was having a panic attack but brining her out of it had always been Raph's forte. He was always able to bring her out of it when I couldn't. Wait, Raph could help! I sprinted out of my chair so quickly I almost tripped over Mikey standing behind me. When I made it up to Raph's room, I pounded on his door and didn't stop until he opened it with a groan.

"What is it April? Can't a guy get his beauty sleep?"

I grabbed his hand and dragged him down to the computer "We need your help." (Y/N) was frozen, unmoving, still staring into nothing, and I could hear her hyperventilating. 

He stared at the sight before him and let out a sigh, "God dammit O'Neil." He sat in my seat, his brothers staring at the back of his head. After cracking his knuckles, he spoke.

(Your P.O.V)

"Hey, uh... (Y/n)?" I could hear someone calling me. My eyes flickered to the noise, they sounded familiar. "I need ya to breathe in count with me okay? Remember how to do that?" I didn't respond. "Ya take a deep, slow breath in, hold it for eight seconds, and let it out slowly for the next five. Okay?" I let out a slow nod. "Breathe in," I did. "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Okay, now let it out." I did so slowly and we kept doing this for a little bit until I stopped hyperventilating. "Now I want you to list the things you see around you. What are you eating?" 

"A hamburger."

"Okay, what's next to you?"  I looked and noticed the salt and pepper shaker, some ketchup and mustard, a glass of water, and the window. I told the voice this. "What's outside?"

"Um... clouds, there's a car driving by, a person on their bike. A lot of fog," I kept listing things until I calmed down and stopped shaking. I let out a sigh and looked back to the screen. April sat in her seat, staring at me worriedly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea, thanks for that April. You're a good friend." She looked as though she wanted to say something, but instead forced a smile onto her face.

"No problem."

"Alright, I need to head back to Alva's and try and uh, not think about Splinter. Love you guys." They waved and I ended the video. I flagged down the waitress to get a box for my hamburger and left the diner. I didn't want to go back to Alva's yet, I wanted to be alone for a bit to process the news. I guess I should drop off the groceries first.

Raph's P.O.V.

When (Y/n) had started to calm down I bolted out of there and had April take my seat. I wanted her to know it was me, but I didn't have the right. I hadn't seen her or even spoken to her in a year! If she had seen I'd helped her out of her panic attack she would've been pissed, or upset, or- or- something! 

I lay back in my bed, thinking about her. She didn't look like she had taken the news about dad too well, none of us did at first either though so I can't really blame her for reacting like that. We've had about a month to cope, but she just found out. The sound of the door creaking open made me sit up to see who it was.

'Hey Raph." Oh, it's April.

"Hey April, what's up?" I scooched over so she could sit on my bed. She sat with a sigh.

"I'm sorry for just dragging you in there like that, but I really needed your help."

I stared down at my hands. "You're fine April,  (Y/n) was dissociating pretty badly from the looks of it. It's never taken that long for me to get her out of that." There was a moment of awkward silence until she finally spoke up.

"You should've stayed there, I felt horrible taking the credit like that."

"She wouldn't have wanted to see me April, she hates me and she has every right to." I didn't want to look April in the eyes.

"Raph, you can't avoid each other forever. There's going to be a day you're forced to see each other, just apologize to her. She might reject it now but she'll remember you apologized down the road."

"If you say so." Standing up, she patted my shell before leaving me alone to my thoughts. I waited for the door to click shut before I took out my phone. Unlocking the dumb thing I went to my messages and started to type out an apology. Each time I started I erased it. Nothing sounded right! I felt myself grow angrier with each wrongly worded text.

"I GIVE UP!" Chucking my phone away, I stalked off to the dojo to blow off some steam.

NORMAL POV:

 

I found myself roaming the woods, the groceries left abandoned at the edge of the woods in a tree. I needed time alone and now I had it. These woods weren't the best choice, considering all the ghost stories in the area, but I just couldn't go back to Alva's yet. I found myself wondering how Splinter could be dead. 

I thought aloud, "It doesn't make sense, I just talked to him and now he's gone? I just- I don't- UGH!" My fists were balled so tightly I could feel my nails digging into my palms, causing blood to trail down in between the almost nonexistent space between my fingers. I ignored it as my mind surged forwards once more. How could someone so precious to me be gone so suddenly? I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye! 

"ITS NOT FAIR!" I screamed as I punched the tree next to me. I felt myself start to shake, oh no, not again. Please not again. Despite my silent pleas, tears streamed down my face. I turned and slid down the trunk of the tree burying my face in my hands. I was full of so much anger and sadness and I couldn't take it anymore. I would've stayed that way for hours except someone found me.

 

"(Y/N), what are you doing here?" I looked up and around for the source of the voice, yet found nothing. Night had set in and the once familiar forest was now dark and slightly terrifying. I stood and looked around again. "(Y/N)." I heard the voice off to my right and sprinted off towards it. I chased the voice until I made it to a waterfall with smooth rocks underneath. Despite it being warm weather, the water must be cold. I kept looking around until I saw a glowing light from in front of the waterfall. I began to cautiously approach it, until it took form. I froze. "S-Sensei?"

With a smile he opened his arms and I rushed into them. "Hello again (Y/n), it's been awhile has it not?"  He held me tightly as I clung to him, sobbing loudly. 

"I'm so sorry Sensei! I should've been home, but I fled like a coward and never looked back. If I had stayed I could've helped, I could've-"

"Stop." His harsh voice silenced me instantly. I looked up at him and found him gazing at me softly, "You did nothing wrong. Not even you could have stopped this from happening, it was fate. Besides, I was getting so old and training with my sons and you was becoming too hard for my aging body."

"But Splinter-"

"(Y/n), you are like a daughter to me and it pains me to see you beat yourself up this way. It was simply my time. I died defending the most important thing to me, my family. I would do it again if given the opportunity. My sons have seemed to have begun moving on and now it is your turn. It will take time, and it may feel like the worst pain you've gone through, but I believe you can get through this. You are strong (Y/n), you always have been."

I wiped my eyes, "Thank you Sensei."

He kept his smile, "No thank you, for befriending my sons, for being there for them when I could not. Please never let them go." We hugged one final time, "Good bye (Y/n)."

"Good bye, dad."

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)!"

I bolted up at the sound of my name. It was still pitch black out, but I was on the forest floor, and under the same tree as before. I began to frantically look around for Splinter but he was nowhere to be found. "Was it just a dream?" No. It was way too rea to have been a dream. I let out a sigh. I felt ten times better than earlier after seeing Splinter one last time and being able to say my goodbyes.

 

"(Y/n) I swear to god when I find you, you're dead meat! You'll be running the mountain up and down until you drop dead from exhaustion!"

'Shit, Alva's probably worried sick," I muttered. As I  ran towards her voice, I prepared myself for the lecture I was definitely going to get. When I made it to her voice, she was holding all the groceries I had bought earlier and was swinging her flashlight like crazy. When the light landed on me, she paused. Dropping all everything she ran towards me and I flinched, not sure what she was about to do. To my surprise, she hugged me briefly before pulling away to look me in the eye.

"You silly silly girl! What if something had happened to you! Come on, I grabbed all the groceries, let’s get out of here before one of the spirits whisk you away." Smiling, I followed her out of the woods, carrying a bag of groceries and my Warhammer on my back. As I looked at Alva again, I noticed how the light caught her eyes when the sun began to rise. They're a dark brown, the same shade as Splinter's. I guess they really are alike in more ways than one.  
   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOAH BUDDY THIS TOOK FOREVER TOO. I decided to go through with writing this chapter because I like to angst and because I like staying as close to canon as possible. I'll have to redo some of my chapters meant to go after this now (since Splnter has speaking roles in them but it shouldn't be too big of a deal). Enjoy the chapter and leave me a comment to know if you liked it!

 

P.S. I might start doing oneshots for the guys since I love them all??? They all deserve more love (especially Mieky and DOnnie like holy shit I can barely ever find anything for them).


	10. Making Up

I was home, after three years of nonstop traveling, I finally felt ready to go home. My disease had eased up and thanks to persistently taking my meds, I felt much better. Sure I still needed my pills every 7 hours, but that's a lot less frequently than before! I hadn't thought of Raphael in quite awhile, but I will admit, none of my relationships felt the same as the one with him. Sure I realized it was brief, especially now that I'm 19, but still-

I was jolted awake as the plane touched down. Dad snorted as I shot forward effectively bashing my head against the seat in front of me and after apologizing a million times to the person in front of me, I got off the plane and breathed in the New York stink and smog I'd missed so much. No one knew I was coming home, not April and definitely not the turtles. I'd kept in touch with them over the years, as I promised, but this was meant to be a total surprise. My dad hailed a cab to take us to my new apartment. When we arrived all my furniture and clothes were already there thanks to the moving company. Dad left shortly after to go check in with work, and I ran to the lair with my Warhammer in tow. Sprinting through the sewers brought back memories of sewer skating with the guys, and all the adventures we'd had over the years and oh my god, was I excited to see them!

When I finally reached the entrance of the lair, I saw no sign of Leo, Donnie, or Mikey. How weird. I assumed they'd be here. Silently I entered the lair and caught sight of the dojo. I could hide in there! As I walked in, I caught a glance at Splinter's room. A wave of sadness washed over me as I recalled the tragic event two years ago. This was the one thing I had been dreading while I was on the plane, having to actually visit his grave and seeing his empty room. It tugged at my heart but the tears stayed at bay. Of course I missed him, but I had done all my crying for him, being able to actually say goodbye was extremely helpful for my progress. 

I shook my head to clear it of any negative thoughts, I was here to see my current friends not mourn the ones I've lost! Something shiny caught my eye so I strolled over to the shelf to see what it was. I picked up the picture frame, it held a photo of the guys with Karai, April, some guy with a missing tooth who I assumed was Casey Jones and a girl in what looked like a witches costume. A small smile graced my face as I gazed at the happy memory. Looking back up at the shelf, I saw memento's of the guy's adventures; a space helmet, some weird scales, a horn of some sort, and the Shredder's helmet. I knew about the whole April being part alien, the Triceratons, the Super-Shredder incident, and even the weird dragon guy whose name I always forgot. April told me how after that dilemma, the guys helped Karai, who I guess everyone is okay now except for me, take back the foot clan, and how they had faced more enemies since. She said they were almost always busy fighting these days, and apparently they'd gotten a lot better. When she told me that I immediately wanted to fight them to see what they had learned and to confirm I could still kick their ass. After all, they weren't the only one's who've been training. I was taller now and had grown into my curves while still gaining muscle mass, not like I had a choice since I lugged around that heavy ass weapon all the time. 

Once I finished looking at their trophy shelf, I decided to hide in the tree in the dojo. It was the perfect spot after all; it had foliage to hide my presence and I could be on higher ground for a sneak attack from above. I almost fell asleep in the tree as I waited for the guys to come back. What could possibly be taking them so long? There's only so many enemies to fight in the world. As if on cue, I heard their voices come from the entrance.

"That was a close one guys, great job out there." Oh Leo, being the good big brother as always.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Leo! Or you guys either! Donnie came in and was all like," his voice became all nasally, " 'I'm gonna hack this', and then Raph came in and was all, 'I'm gonna wreck it!', it was so cool!"Aw Mikey, laying on the compliments was always something you could do just right.

"Heh, thanks guys... that was some pretty advanced tech too. I almost wasn't able to hack it..." There goes Donnie, doubting his genius abilities as always.

"Oh come on Donnie, you did so great out there. We didn't doubt you for a second." Ew. Raph.

"Yo, I'm gonna put this on the shelf. Don't forget April said she was stopping by later to bring us pizza!" Oh perfect, I could get Mikey in on this too! He hummed as he walked in. I quietly grabbed my phone as he approached the shelf below me. 

All I sent was "Look up." He seemed confused but did as I asked. When he saw me a huge smile burst on his face, I quickly signed for him to be quiet and shut the door. He raced to complete the task so I could hug him. He squeezed me so tight I thought my organs were gonna explode. 

In a voice quieter than I knew Mikey could handle, he mumbled, "What are you doing here dudette!"

"I'm here to surprise you guys! I'll explain more but I want to scare your brothers so I need you to do me a favor and get them to come in here, WITHOUT being suspicious. Can you help me?" 

He gave me a Cheshire cat grin, so I hauled ass back up the tree as he reopened the dojo door. "Hey, guys? I think something's wrong with the shelf? Can you all come check it out?" That was easy. I pulled up my hood in preparation.

One by one they all filed in with Donnie right below where I was sitting, "Mikey, there's nothing wrong with the shelf. It's perfectly fi-" I pounced! He fell to the ground with a scream of surprise as I stood on his shell, I started to pull his arm backward when a pair of katanas cut me off! I had to jump away to avoid their razor sharp edge. That wasn't a good idea because I fell into Raph's arms. I body flipped him before he could do anything, but then Donnie had me pinned to the wall with his bo staff blade at my throat.

"WOAH OKAY, TIME OUT TIME OUT!" Mikey ran over to save me from a premature death. I was honestly shocked, the guys had never been so ruthless before during fights, even in serious ones Leo would use the other side of his katanas, and Donnie never popped out the blade of his staff. The guys looked at him in confusion before I pulled my hood down.

"Howdy boys, long time no see." I beamed at them. Their weapons clattered to the floor, dumbstruck. Mikey and I had the same shit-eating grin on our face. Leo stood there confused and Donnie had a mixture of annoyance and excitement on his face. I avoided looking at Raph. "Well, are you going to just stand there or what?" I hugged Leo and Donnie, ignoring Raphael completely. He looked confused and angered with my presence. 

Leo kept stuttering, "How- When-" 

I cut him off, "I got here this morning, and I'm here to stay. Mikey helped me surprise you guys!" As I said that, Raphael stormed off. I ignored it. Standing back a little, I took a good look at the guys, "Wow you guys look different." And they really did, Mikey was finally almost as tall as me, Leo just looked older and wiser in general almost like a real leader, and Donnie had somehow grown taller and seemed to had gained some muscle he even has glasses. 

"Well so do you!" Leo exclaimed. I laughed and looked at Donnie who was glaring at me.

"Awww. Don-Don, don't be upset~. I'm sorryyy." He rolled his eyes at me until I took his glasses. "So what's up with these?" 

Mikey answered me, "He doesn't even need them, he's trying out the new "Hipster" look." Leo looked annoyed with this. 

"Don't judge me, Leo, they help me see better!"

"They just get in the way during battle!" Uh oh, it seems I've reopened an old argument.

"Well Don, I think you look good in them, even if you don't need them." He rolled his eyes and waved me off, mumbling something about a gadget that needed fixing then left for his lab.

"So where are you staying?" Leo politely asked.

"Well now I'm in that high rise next to the grocery store, you know, the faded brick one? It's a short walk from here to there actually." 

Mikey says on the couch and patted next to him. "Does April know you're here?" I sat next to him and Leo on my other side.

"Not a clue, I'm gonna scare the crap outta her though. Oh, isn't she with that Casey guy now?"

"Oh yea, April and Casey are tighter than tight. They've been together for almost a year now." 

I was flabbergasted, "I had no idea. She only briefly mentioned him once to me. Is he even cute? April could honestly date a supermodel so she better not have settled for some ugly hobo or something..." The two looked at each other and grimaced, oh jeez. "Well, what's he like?"

Leo answered, "Think Raph, but dumber, louder, and more violent." Now it was my turn to grimace.

"What are you trying to say, Leo?" A new voice said. I turned and saw a boy with black hair and missing teeth. Wait, was this the guy April told me about all that time ago? He wore black and white face paint that vaguely made him look like a skeleton wearing a large hoodie. There were baseball bats on his back along with a hockey stick or two. "That I'm good looking, strong, and amazing?" Good Lord April, what have you decided to date. He glanced at me, "Who's the broad?"

I gave him a strained smile, "Hi nice to meet you, I'm (y/-" 

He dramatically pointed to himself and cut me off mid-sentence. "The names Casey Jones, vigilante of the night, extraordinary human being." Ugh, April's taste in men was always kind of off. I stood up walked to him, he looked confused when I front flipped onto his back, then stepped on his stomach to pin him.

"Well Jones, my name is (Y/n). Most of my friends call me Cas, but you don't get that pleasantry quite yet. You know who gave me my nickname?"

He squirmed underneath me, "Let me up! Guys help!" Leo and Mikey didn't move, they stood watching knowing better than to intervene.

"My best friend and your girlfriend, April O'Neal."

He laid there silently until I offered to help him up, "Nice to finally meet you, Casey." He apologized profusely for calling me a broad and I, being the ever forgiving human being I am, forgave him. We started talking and I realized he actually wasn't as awful as I had originally thought. He plays hockey year round, built all his own gear, and could roller blade like a champ. He started to teach me while we waited for April. Mikey kept laughing as I fell on my butt and Leo would offer advice and try not to snicker at me. That is until I started towards the sewer water. 

"AH! Someone stop me I can't figure out the breaks!" Donnie came out of his lab to see the commotion just as I fell in. He let out a wheezing noise and started cackling which in turn set off Leo. I just floated in the water as they laughed at me. 

"Hey, guys, long day at school but I can finally come celebrate with you!" April had walked in with an extraordinary amount of pizzas. She looked around at the guys dying of laughter as she set them down on the counter. "What's so funny?" Donnie glanced at me as I put a finger to my lips and sunk below the surface. When I reemerged I was far enough behind her so she couldn't see me. I slowly got out of the water while Casey distracted her for me. I managed to glide over to her and trap her in a soaking wet hug. I wish I could say she took it well but instead she screamed and flipped me onto my back. 

"Ouch Red, that really hurt," I whined pouting up at her. Her eyes widened and she squealed while pulling me up. 

"Oh my gosh, I've missed you so much. It's been so long!" I told her what I told the guys, where I was living, how I was here to stay. etc. We sat on the couch after one of the guys brought me a few towels, to dry off with. I guess I'd forgotten some shorts and a sweatshirt here before I left because they had them there for me to change into. I happily obliged and quickly changed in the bathroom. When I came back out, Raphael was whispering with Casey about something that looked serious. Oh well, I don't care. I walked by them not giving Raph a second look as I entered the living room. The guys were watching some old cartoon.

"Where was this stuff? I never noticed they were missing."

Leo looked away from the TV long enough to answer, "Raph had them in a box in his closet." Oh? That's interesting.

"So, uh. Speaking of Raph, when are you and Raph going to make up?" Mikey suddenly asked. I saw Raphael look up at him before taking off somewhere.

"Excuse me?" 

"Mikey.." April muttered.

"I mean you dudes just ignore each other and it's kinda awkward for the rest of us. Can we mention you while talking to him? Can we mention him when we talk to you? We don't know! I don't get why you don't just talk it out and act like bros again."

I stood there processing everything he said. He's not wrong, I guess. I looked at Leo, then April, and finally back to Mikey. "If you felt like this you should've told me sooner." There was an audible sigh or relief from them. 

"I told you guys she'd understand," Mikey said triumphantly.

"But I also don't want to talk to him." They groaned loudly. "The guy broke up with me without explaining why and then never talked to me again! He never answered my calls, texted me back, nothing. So please don't expect me to willingly talk to him again after trying for so long." April put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright (Y/n), we shouldn't expect you to be willing to talk to him right away. You just got back after all." I nodded and looked at my phone. 

"I'd better get going, it's late." and with that, I stood up grabbed my wet clothes and left after promising to visit again soon. 

The months flew by as I stayed in my apartment painting and looking for something to pass the time with. Usually I would go and hang with April and the guys if they weren't patrolling the city, but if they were busy I would just wander. Each week usually involved one or two awkward encounters with Raph. Most of the time I would simply walk by him without sparing him a glance, acting like he didn't exist. There was a time he looked as though he wanted to say something, but I shoved past him and left the lair. Was it cruel of me? Possibly. I didn't really care though. One day the guys invited me to some building to collect parts to make gear. When I finally arrived at the building, Casey was outside waiting for me. 

"About time you showed up," he joked with me.

"Listen, I had to take the bus to get here, the traffic sucked." 

"Mhm sure, whatever you say Cas." We went inside the building, it was a large warehouse full of old tech junk. The guys were already digging through it, with the exception of Raphael. Where was he? 

"Alright Don, where do you want me to start and what exactly am I looking for?" 

He stopped digging, "We're looking for a computer processor that was left over from the Krang." He showed me a picture on his t-phone. I was confused.

"The Krang? I thought those guys were long gone." 

"Oh. They are. They left a lot of their technology behind though and I like to use it to build new stuff sometimes." He stood up and pointed to a section of the warehouse in the back. Two heavy looking doors were closing off the section to another part of the building. "Can you look in there?" 

"Sure thing Don." I walked to the doors, struggling to open them. It took me, Leo, Mikey, and Casey to open the doors. 

"We'll leave them open," they told me before continuing to search for parts. I walked into the new room, it was dimly lit, but I immediately spotted a processor for a computer. I ran over to it, digging it out until I heard a voice behind me. 

It said, "Wait, guys, what are you-" and then the doors shut. The room was an enveloped in darkness. 

"Who's there?" I asked, ready for a fight.

"Oh great, they locked us in here together. Freaking great!" Then I heard them punch something. I groaned, realizing who it was.

"Hello Raphael..." I mumbled. He remained silent until the lights suddenly turned on and I saw the room, was actually smaller than I initially thought. Raph swore under his breath. I walked to the doors.

"Guys, this isn't cool." I hit the doors a few times, "Let us out!" 

"Not until you two talk!" I groaned and slumped against the door while Ralph went on a rampage in the room. Eventually he calmed down, just sitting on the other side of the room.

What felt like an eternity later I heard Raph move. I watched as he walked towards me, sitting by the pile of junk next to me. "They ain't gonna let us out until we make up, (Y/n)." 

With a fake smile on my face, I delicately replied, "No fucking shit Sherlock. Thanks for clueing me in on that tasteful bit of info." I crossed my arms and refused to look at him. I heard him mumble something and I whipped back around. "What did you just say?" I asked. 

"I said I forgot how difficult you can be."

"HAH! You wanna talk about difficult, look at yourself! Your temper is off the charts, you throw tantrums like a child despite the fact you're 18, and when things don't go your way you pop your top! So yea, I'm the difficult one. Sure." I sat with my arms crossed, refusing to look at him. I could imagine the veins popping out of his head from anger. The pure rage that must be on his face. 

I heard a sigh. Huh? Why wasn't he getting angry? I snuck a peek at his face, he just looked tired. He has bags under his eyes. "Ya know, if you talked to me, we could get out of here sooner. I don't want to spend the night here."

"Why would I want to talk to you. Last time we spoke, you told me, 'We're done.' after that, you NEVER spoke to me again. Why would I, after years of nothing, want to talk to you now?"

He tried to defend himself, "Hey, you barely tried to talk to me either."

"Why would I?! After all the missed calls and texts, you made it clear we were done, when I tried to explain myself you ignored me, you even had the audacity to speak over me! I never had the chance to make you understand! I get you were upset, but Jesus Christ! You broke up with me for keeping a secret! Believe me, I understand why you were upset-"

He cut me off anger in his eyes. There's the Raph I remember, "Do you really? Please explain to me why I was upset then. Psychoanalyze me. Please." His last words practically dripped with sarcasm.

I felt myself fill with rage, "Sure! Let's see where do I even begin! Poor baby Raph was upset his girlfriend kept a secret from him, a secret that literally no one except her fucking doctor and father knew. A secret she kept so her friends wouldn't treat her differently, as though she was weak! Do you know want to know why I feared that so much Raph? Because I'm terrified of being perceived as weak. The idea of someone seeing me in my decaying state, that behind this image of strength there's a sick girl who could die at any moment if she forgets her pill, that image, petrifies me! I have trained practically my WHOLE LIFE to be strong. I've won competition, after competition, martial arts is my entire life! So do you know what would happen if my competitors found out? I would be eliminated, all my wins would be seen as my competition going easy on me just because I'm sick. And you know what else Raph? I -" The coughing began and it wouldn't stop, I searched for my purse, where did it go!

Raph frantically looked for my bag. He found it and practically ripped open my pill bottle. He put one in my hand and I gulped it down. The coughing subsided. It wasn't even my 7-hour mark! A few more coughs left my body, "SHIT!" I punched the wall behind me. Raph just watched silently as I broke down. Holding my head, tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. Neither of us said anything for awhile. All I felt was frustration. Frustration with Raph, with my disease, and with myself. Wiping my eyes I saw him stand up. He held out his hand to me and I just stared at it. Raph sighed, I cautiously reached out and he helped me up. I allowed him to envelop me in a hug. 

He began to explain his side, "I never meant to hurt you Cas. I was upset, you're right. But it's because I have to keep secrets all the time, hell I live in hiding every day. I save lives and get no thanks for it. I thought you were the one person I wouldn't have to lie about myself to and I expected you to do the same. When I found out you had been keeping a secret, and a huge secret at that, I was so angry I acted without thinking." We stood there as I processed what he said. He continued, "I got home and immediately regretted what I did. The look on your face that night in the hospital shook me to my core. But then I got this great idea, maybe this would be better for you. You wouldn't have to lie to your dad about me. You would be able to live a normal life, so I just ignored your calls. I let you forget me, just like everyone else does. And just so you know, I did talk to you, once. Remember when dad died?" I slowly nodded my head, "I was the one who calmed you down from your panic attack, not April."

There was only silence for a while as we stood there, holding each other. In my years of anger, I had forgotten he was hurt too. I spoke first, "You know, if you had told me all this sooner, we could've avoided all... this" I gestured between us. He cracked a small smile.

"But then we wouldn't have this heartfelt talk." What a smart ass. He continued, "So... are we.. can we be.." 

"Friends? Yea."

He let out a sigh of relief, "Thank God." We stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. The door groaned open and our friends streamed into the room. 

Mikey ran over and put an arm around each one of us, "I'm so proud of you dudes!" He looked at Raph, "I'm so happy you finally broke open that hard shell of yours bro! You opened up and dude, that's respectable."

Realization dawned on me, "Oh my god, were you listening to us?!"

They all laughed awkwardly as Raph turned the color of his mask. Everyone pointed to Donnie and there was a chorus of, "He set it up!". Raph turned to his brother. Violent intent clear by the expression on his face. 

"Raph, brother, pal" Donnie chuckled nervously before shrieking, "Mikey suggested it!"

Mikey ran out of the room screaming, Raph close behind him. I sighed, "I don't care anymore... I just want to go home. I'm so tired and emotionally drained." I told April as I leaned against her.

Leo looked at me, "You know he doesn't just spill his guts for anyone. The last time he opened up like that was when Sensei died...".

"I know... I appreciate it. I know how hard it is for him to do that. He likes to build a wall around himself, make him seem invincible. Like nothing can make him sad, only angry." He nodded before patting me on the back and walking out. 

April put an arm around me, "Let's get you home. Casey, can you drive us?"

"Yea, sure thing babe. Let's go." And with that, we drove to my apartment. I waved goodbye to them as they drove off. After dragging myself upstairs and making into my room, I set an alarm to take my pill and started to fall asleep. I was almost there when my phone went off. It was a text, from Raph.

It read, "Hey."

"Hey"

"What're you doing?"

"Falling asleep, you?"

"Oh sorry, I'll let you sleep."

"Too late. I'm awake what's up?"

"I have a question"

"Okay, shoot." There was a long pause before he answered.

"Now I'm not saying right now or tomorrow or even anytime soon just whenever you're comfortable, but could we get back together." His question made my heart pound. Oh boy, I was awake now that's for sure. I felt like I was gonna throw up. I didn't know what to say...

"I'll need to think about it okay? For now let's just stay friends."

"Okay, sound like a plan. Just know that even after all this time I still love you. Night."

I shut off my phone screen and laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. With a confession like that, how was I supposed to sleep!?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N)

I'M SO SORRY! T

I was home, after three years of nonstop traveling, I finally felt ready to go home. My disease had eased up and thanks to persistently taking my meds, I felt much better. Sure I still needed my pills every 7 hours, but that's a lot less frequently than before! I hadn't thought of Raphael in quite awhile, but I will admit, none of my relationships felt the same as the one with him. Sure I realized it was brief, especially now that I'm 19, but still-

I was jolted awake as the plane touched down. Dad snorted as I shot forward effectively bashing my head against the seat in front of me and after apologizing a million times to the person in front of me, I got off the plane and breathed in the New York stink and smog I'd missed so much. No one knew I was coming home, not April and definitely not the turtles. I'd kept in touch with them over the years, as I promised, but this was meant to be a total surprise. My dad hailed a cab to take us to my new apartment. When we arrived all my furniture and clothes were already there thanks to the moving company. Dad left shortly after to go check in with work, and I ran to the lair with my Warhammer in tow. Sprinting through the sewers brought back memories of sewer skating with the guys, and all the adventures we'd had over the years and oh my god, was I excited to see them!

When I finally reached the entrance of the lair, I saw no sign of Leo, Donnie, or Mikey. How weird. I assumed they'd be here. Silently I entered the lair and caught sight of the dojo. I could hide in there! As I walked in, I caught a glance at Splinter's room. A wave of sadness washed over me as I recalled the tragic event two years ago. This was the one thing I had been dreading while I was on the plane, having to actually visit his grave and seeing his empty room. It tugged at my heart but the tears stayed at bay. Of course I missed him, but I had done all my crying for him, being able to actually say goodbye was extremely helpful for my progress. 

I shook my head to clear it of any negative thoughts, I was here to see my current friends not mourn the ones I've lost! Something shiny caught my eye so I strolled over to the shelf to see what it was. I picked up the picture frame, it held a photo of the guys with Karai, April, some guy with a missing tooth who I assumed was Casey Jones and a girl in what looked like a witches costume. A small smile graced my face as I gazed at the happy memory. Looking back up at the shelf, I saw memento's of the guy's adventures; a space helmet, some weird scales, a horn of some sort, and the Shredder's helmet. I knew about the whole April being part alien, the Triceratons, the Super-Shredder incident, and even the weird dragon guy whose name I always forgot. April told me how after that dilemma, the guys helped Karai, who I guess everyone is okay now except for me, take back the foot clan, and how they had faced more enemies since. She said they were almost always busy fighting these days, and apparently they'd gotten a lot better. When she told me that I immediately wanted to fight them to see what they had learned and to confirm I could still kick their ass. After all, they weren't the only one's who've been training. I was taller now and had grown into my curves while still gaining muscle mass, not like I had a choice since I lugged around that heavy ass weapon all the time. 

Once I finished looking at their trophy shelf, I decided to hide in the tree in the dojo. It was the perfect spot after all; it had foliage to hide my presence and I could be on higher ground for a sneak attack from above. I almost fell asleep in the tree as I waited for the guys to come back. What could possibly be taking them so long? There's only so many enemies to fight in the world. As if on cue, I heard their voices come from the entrance.

"That was a close one guys, great job out there." Oh Leo, being the good big brother as always.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Leo! Or you guys either! Donnie came in and was all like," his voice became all nasally, " 'I'm gonna hack this', and then Raph came in and was all, 'I'm gonna wreck it!', it was so cool!"Aw Mikey, laying on the compliments was always something you could do just right.

"Heh, thanks guys... that was some pretty advanced tech too. I almost wasn't able to hack it..." There goes Donnie, doubting his genius abilities as always.

"Oh come on Donnie, you did so great out there. We didn't doubt you for a second." Ew. Raph.

"Yo, I'm gonna put this on the shelf. Don't forget April said she was stopping by later to bring us pizza!" Oh perfect, I could get Mikey in on this too! He hummed as he walked in. I quietly grabbed my phone as he approached the shelf below me. 

All I sent was "Look up." He seemed confused but did as I asked. When he saw me a huge smile burst on his face, I quickly signed for him to be quiet and shut the door. He raced to complete the task so I could hug him. He squeezed me so tight I thought my organs were gonna explode. 

In a voice quieter than I knew Mikey could handle, he mumbled, "What are you doing here dudette!"

"I'm here to surprise you guys! I'll explain more but I want to scare your brothers so I need you to do me a favor and get them to come in here, WITHOUT being suspicious. Can you help me?" 

He gave me a Cheshire cat grin, so I hauled ass back up the tree as he reopened the dojo door. "Hey, guys? I think something's wrong with the shelf? Can you all come check it out?" That was easy. I pulled up my hood in preparation.

One by one they all filed in with Donnie right below where I was sitting, "Mikey, there's nothing wrong with the shelf. It's perfectly fi-" I pounced! He fell to the ground with a scream of surprise as I stood on his shell, I started to pull his arm backward when a pair of katanas cut me off! I had to jump away to avoid their razor sharp edge. That wasn't a good idea because I fell into Raph's arms. I body flipped him before he could do anything, but then Donnie had me pinned to the wall with his bo staff blade at my throat.

"WOAH OKAY, TIME OUT TIME OUT!" Mikey ran over to save me from a premature death. I was honestly shocked, the guys had never been so ruthless before during fights, even in serious ones Leo would use the other side of his katanas, and Donnie never popped out the blade of his staff. The guys looked at him in confusion before I pulled my hood down.

"Howdy boys, long time no see." I beamed at them. Their weapons clattered to the floor, dumbstruck. Mikey and I had the same shit-eating grin on our face. Leo stood there confused and Donnie had a mixture of annoyance and excitement on his face. I avoided looking at Raph. "Well, are you going to just stand there or what?" I hugged Leo and Donnie, ignoring Raphael completely. He looked confused and angered with my presence. 

Leo kept stuttering, "How- When-" 

I cut him off, "I got here this morning, and I'm here to stay. Mikey helped me surprise you guys!" As I said that, Raphael stormed off. I ignored it. Standing back a little, I took a good look at the guys, "Wow you guys look different." And they really did, Mikey was finally almost as tall as me, Leo just looked older and wiser in general almost like a real leader, and Donnie had somehow grown taller and seemed to had gained some muscle he even has glasses. 

"Well so do you!" Leo exclaimed. I laughed and looked at Donnie who was glaring at me.

"Awww. Don-Don, don't be upset~. I'm sorryyy." He rolled his eyes at me until I took his glasses. "So what's up with these?" 

Mikey answered me, "He doesn't even need them, he's trying out the new "Hipster" look." Leo looked annoyed with this. 

"Don't judge me, Leo, they help me see better!"

"They just get in the way during battle!" Uh oh, it seems I've reopened an old argument.

"Well Don, I think you look good in them, even if you don't need them." He rolled his eyes and waved me off, mumbling something about a gadget that needed fixing then left for his lab.

"So where are you staying?" Leo politely asked.

"Well now I'm in that high rise next to the grocery store, you know, the faded brick one? It's a short walk from here to there actually." 

Mikey says on the couch and patted next to him. "Does April know you're here?" I sat next to him and Leo on my other side.

"Not a clue, I'm gonna scare the crap outta her though. Oh, isn't she with that Casey guy now?"

"Oh yea, April and Casey are tighter than tight. They've been together for almost a year now." 

I was flabbergasted, "I had no idea. She only briefly mentioned him once to me. Is he even cute? April could honestly date a supermodel so she better not have settled for some ugly hobo or something..." The two looked at each other and grimaced, oh jeez. "Well, what's he like?"

Leo answered, "Think Raph, but dumber, louder, and more violent." Now it was my turn to grimace.

"What are you trying to say, Leo?" A new voice said. I turned and saw a boy with black hair and missing teeth. Wait, was this the guy April told me about all that time ago? He wore black and white face paint that vaguely made him look like a skeleton wearing a large hoodie. There were baseball bats on his back along with a hockey stick or two. "That I'm good looking, strong, and amazing?" Good Lord April, what have you decided to date. He glanced at me, "Who's the broad?"

I gave him a strained smile, "Hi nice to meet you, I'm (y/-" 

He dramatically pointed to himself and cut me off mid-sentence. "The names Casey Jones, vigilante of the night, extraordinary human being." Ugh, April's taste in men was always kind of off. I stood up walked to him, he looked confused when I front flipped onto his back, then stepped on his stomach to pin him.

"Well Jones, my name is (Y/n). Most of my friends call me Cas, but you don't get that pleasantry quite yet. You know who gave me my nickname?"

He squirmed underneath me, "Let me up! Guys help!" Leo and Mikey didn't move, they stood watching knowing better than to intervene.

"My best friend and your girlfriend, April O'Neal."

He laid there silently until I offered to help him up, "Nice to finally meet you, Casey." He apologized profusely for calling me a broad and I, being the ever forgiving human being I am, forgave him. We started talking and I realized he actually wasn't as awful as I had originally thought. He plays hockey year round, built all his own gear, and could roller blade like a champ. He started to teach me while we waited for April. Mikey kept laughing as I fell on my butt and Leo would offer advice and try not to snicker at me. That is until I started towards the sewer water. 

"AH! Someone stop me I can't figure out the breaks!" Donnie came out of his lab to see the commotion just as I fell in. He let out a wheezing noise and started cackling which in turn set off Leo. I just floated in the water as they laughed at me. 

"Hey, guys, long day at school but I can finally come celebrate with you!" April had walked in with an extraordinary amount of pizzas. She looked around at the guys dying of laughter as she set them down on the counter. "What's so funny?" Donnie glanced at me as I put a finger to my lips and sunk below the surface. When I reemerged I was far enough behind her so she couldn't see me. I slowly got out of the water while Casey distracted her for me. I managed to glide over to her and trap her in a soaking wet hug. I wish I could say she took it well but instead she screamed and flipped me onto my back. 

"Ouch Red, that really hurt," I whined pouting up at her. Her eyes widened and she squealed while pulling me up. 

"Oh my gosh, I've missed you so much. It's been so long!" I told her what I told the guys, where I was living, how I was here to stay. etc. We sat on the couch after one of the guys brought me a few towels, to dry off with. I guess I'd forgotten some shorts and a sweatshirt here before I left because they had them there for me to change into. I happily obliged and quickly changed in the bathroom. When I came back out, Raphael was whispering with Casey about something that looked serious. Oh well, I don't care. I walked by them not giving Raph a second look as I entered the living room. The guys were watching some old cartoon.

"Where was this stuff? I never noticed they were missing."

Leo looked away from the TV long enough to answer, "Raph had them in a box in his closet." Oh? That's interesting.

"So, uh. Speaking of Raph, when are you and Raph going to make up?" Mikey suddenly asked. I saw Raphael look up at him before taking off somewhere.

"Excuse me?" 

"Mikey.." April muttered.

"I mean you dudes just ignore each other and it's kinda awkward for the rest of us. Can we mention you while talking to him? Can we mention him when we talk to you? We don't know! I don't get why you don't just talk it out and act like bros again."

I stood there processing everything he said. He's not wrong, I guess. I looked at Leo, then April, and finally back to Mikey. "If you felt like this you should've told me sooner." There was an audible sigh or relief from them. 

"I told you guys she'd understand," Mikey said triumphantly.

"But I also don't want to talk to him." They groaned loudly. "The guy broke up with me without explaining why and then never talked to me again! He never answered my calls, texted me back, nothing. So please don't expect me to willingly talk to him again after trying for so long." April put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright (Y/n), we shouldn't expect you to be willing to talk to him right away. You just got back after all." I nodded and looked at my phone. 

"I'd better get going, it's late." and with that, I stood up grabbed my wet clothes and left after promising to visit again soon. 

The months flew by as I stayed in my apartment painting and looking for something to pass the time with. Usually I would go and hang with April and the guys if they weren't patrolling the city, but if they were busy I would just wander. Each week usually involved one or two awkward encounters with Raph. Most of the time I would simply walk by him without sparing him a glance, acting like he didn't exist. There was a time he looked as though he wanted to say something, but I shoved past him and left the lair. Was it cruel of me? Possibly. I didn't really care though. One day the guys invited me to some building to collect parts to make gear. When I finally arrived at the building, Casey was outside waiting for me. 

"About time you showed up," he joked with me.

"Listen, I had to take the bus to get here, the traffic sucked." 

"Mhm sure, whatever you say Cas." We went inside the building, it was a large warehouse full of old tech junk. The guys were already digging through it, with the exception of Raphael. Where was he? 

"Alright Don, where do you want me to start and what exactly am I looking for?" 

He stopped digging, "We're looking for a computer processor that was left over from the Krang." He showed me a picture on his t-phone. I was confused.

"The Krang? I thought those guys were long gone." 

"Oh. They are. They left a lot of their technology behind though and I like to use it to build new stuff sometimes." He stood up and pointed to a section of the warehouse in the back. Two heavy looking doors were closing off the section to another part of the building. "Can you look in there?" 

"Sure thing Don." I walked to the doors, struggling to open them. It took me, Leo, Mikey, and Casey to open the doors. 

"We'll leave them open," they told me before continuing to search for parts. I walked into the new room, it was dimly lit, but I immediately spotted a processor for a computer. I ran over to it, digging it out until I heard a voice behind me. 

It said, "Wait, guys, what are you-" and then the doors shut. The room was an enveloped in darkness. 

"Who's there?" I asked, ready for a fight.

"Oh great, they locked us in here together. Freaking great!" Then I heard them punch something. I groaned, realizing who it was.

"Hello Raphael..." I mumbled. He remained silent until the lights suddenly turned on and I saw the room, was actually smaller than I initially thought. Raph swore under his breath. I walked to the doors.

"Guys, this isn't cool." I hit the doors a few times, "Let us out!" 

"Not until you two talk!" I groaned and slumped against the door while Ralph went on a rampage in the room. Eventually he calmed down, just sitting on the other side of the room.

What felt like an eternity later I heard Raph move. I watched as he walked towards me, sitting by the pile of junk next to me. "They ain't gonna let us out until we make up, (Y/n)." 

With a fake smile on my face, I delicately replied, "No fucking shit Sherlock. Thanks for clueing me in on that tasteful bit of info." I crossed my arms and refused to look at him. I heard him mumble something and I whipped back around. "What did you just say?" I asked. 

"I said I forgot how difficult you can be."

"HAH! You wanna talk about difficult, look at yourself! Your temper is off the charts, you throw tantrums like a child despite the fact you're 18, and when things don't go your way you pop your top! So yea, I'm the difficult one. Sure." I sat with my arms crossed, refusing to look at him. I could imagine the veins popping out of his head from anger. The pure rage that must be on his face. 

I heard a sigh. Huh? Why wasn't he getting angry? I snuck a peek at his face, he just looked tired. He has bags under his eyes. "Ya know, if you talked to me, we could get out of here sooner. I don't want to spend the night here."

"Why would I want to talk to you. Last time we spoke, you told me, 'We're done.' after that, you NEVER spoke to me again. Why would I, after years of nothing, want to talk to you now?"

He tried to defend himself, "Hey, you barely tried to talk to me either."

"Why would I?! After all the missed calls and texts, you made it clear we were done, when I tried to explain myself you ignored me, you even had the audacity to speak over me! I never had the chance to make you understand! I get you were upset, but Jesus Christ! You broke up with me for keeping a secret! Believe me, I understand why you were upset-"

He cut me off anger in his eyes. There's the Raph I remember, "Do you really? Please explain to me why I was upset then. Psychoanalyze me. Please." His last words practically dripped with sarcasm.

I felt myself fill with rage, "Sure! Let's see where do I even begin! Poor baby Raph was upset his girlfriend kept a secret from him, a secret that literally no one except her fucking doctor and father knew. A secret she kept so her friends wouldn't treat her differently, as though she was weak! Do you know want to know why I feared that so much Raph? Because I'm terrified of being perceived as weak. The idea of someone seeing me in my decaying state, that behind this image of strength there's a sick girl who could die at any moment if she forgets her pill, that image, petrifies me! I have trained practically my WHOLE LIFE to be strong. I've won competition, after competition, martial arts is my entire life! So do you know what would happen if my competitors found out? I would be eliminated, all my wins would be seen as my competition going easy on me just because I'm sick. And you know what else Raph? I -" The coughing began and it wouldn't stop, I searched for my purse, where did it go!

Raph frantically looked for my bag. He found it and practically ripped open my pill bottle. He put one in my hand and I gulped it down. The coughing subsided. It wasn't even my 7-hour mark! A few more coughs left my body, "SHIT!" I punched the wall behind me. Raph just watched silently as I broke down. Holding my head, tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. Neither of us said anything for awhile. All I felt was frustration. Frustration with Raph, with my disease, and with myself. Wiping my eyes I saw him stand up. He held out his hand to me and I just stared at it. Raph sighed, I cautiously reached out and he helped me up. I allowed him to envelop me in a hug. 

He began to explain his side, "I never meant to hurt you Cas. I was upset, you're right. But it's because I have to keep secrets all the time, hell I live in hiding every day. I save lives and get no thanks for it. I thought you were the one person I wouldn't have to lie about myself to and I expected you to do the same. When I found out you had been keeping a secret, and a huge secret at that, I was so angry I acted without thinking." We stood there as I processed what he said. He continued, "I got home and immediately regretted what I did. The look on your face that night in the hospital shook me to my core. But then I got this great idea, maybe this would be better for you. You wouldn't have to lie to your dad about me. You would be able to live a normal life, so I just ignored your calls. I let you forget me, just like everyone else does. And just so you know, I did talk to you, once. Remember when dad died?" I slowly nodded my head, "I was the one who calmed you down from your panic attack, not April."

There was only silence for a while as we stood there, holding each other. In my years of anger, I had forgotten he was hurt too. I spoke first, "You know, if you had told me all this sooner, we could've avoided all... this" I gestured between us. He cracked a small smile.

"But then we wouldn't have this heartfelt talk." What a smart ass. He continued, "So... are we.. can we be.." 

"Friends? Yea."

He let out a sigh of relief, "Thank God." We stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. The door groaned open and our friends streamed into the room. 

Mikey ran over and put an arm around each one of us, "I'm so proud of you dudes!" He looked at Raph, "I'm so happy you finally broke open that hard shell of yours bro! You opened up and dude, that's respectable."

Realization dawned on me, "Oh my god, were you listening to us?!"

They all laughed awkwardly as Raph turned the color of his mask. Everyone pointed to Donnie and there was a chorus of, "He set it up!". Raph turned to his brother. Violent intent clear by the expression on his face. 

"Raph, brother, pal" Donnie chuckled nervously before shrieking, "Mikey suggested it!"

Mikey ran out of the room screaming, Raph close behind him. I sighed, "I don't care anymore... I just want to go home. I'm so tired and emotionally drained." I told April as I leaned against her.

Leo looked at me, "You know he doesn't just spill his guts for anyone. The last time he opened up like that was when Sensei died...".

"I know... I appreciate it. I know how hard it is for him to do that. He likes to build a wall around himself, make him seem invincible. Like nothing can make him sad, only angry." He nodded before patting me on the back and walking out. 

April put an arm around me, "Let's get you home. Casey, can you drive us?"

"Yea, sure thing babe. Let's go." And with that, we drove to my apartment. I waved goodbye to them as they drove off. After dragging myself upstairs and making into my room, I set an alarm to take my pill and started to fall asleep. I was almost there when my phone went off. It was a text, from Raph.

It read, "Hey."

"Hey"

"What're you doing?"

"Falling asleep, you?"

"Oh sorry, I'll let you sleep."

"Too late. I'm awake what's up?"

"I have a question"

"Okay, shoot." There was a long pause before he answered.

"Now I'm not saying right now or tomorrow or even anytime soon just whenever you're comfortable, but could we get back together." His question made my heart pound. Oh boy, I was awake now that's for sure. I felt like I was gonna throw up. I didn't know what to say...

"I'll need to think about it okay? For now let's just stay friends."

"Okay, sound like a plan. Just know that even after all this time I still love you. Night."

I shut off my phone screen and laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. With a confession like that, how was I supposed to sleep!?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N)

I'M SO SORRY! This has been ready to publish for a few weeks but I thought it needed more editing so I've been putting it off so I apologize for the wait. College has been a pain in the ass with assignments but summer break is coming up soon! I've also been editing previous chapters because I kept seeing all these grammar mistakes! So I went through and fixed some things so if the earlier chapters seem different that's why. I think I also rewrote a scene? I can't really remember because it was so long ago. Well anyways, enjoy this chapter! The next one was my favorite to write so far, so look forwards to it!


	11. Out at April's

A little over a month after that lovely confession, Raph and I are back to being close friends. It's a relief actually. For a while now it felt like something was missing like there was a void in my heart, but that hole was now partially filled by our friendship. Did I want something more? Oh hell yeah, I missed him, I missed being with him but I refuse to just blindly run back to him; I know he regrets his actions from that night so long ago, and I know he's changed but what if I get hurt again? That's the only thing holding me back from saying yes. I was interrupted from my thoughts by a shadow crossing over my face. I was sunbathing at April's country home. She had invited us here to relax and escape the stress of city life. We were currently out by a large pond we found while exploring. I opened my eyes and sat up to see who was in front of me. 

"Hey Casey, what's up?"

"Dude, I need your help with something."

I put my sunglasses over my eyes and laid back down. "Depends on what it is, Jones."

"Revenge." Oh? That got my interest. I sat back up as he continued, "Raph shoved me into the water earlier, so I think it's time to get him back."

I grinned, "I like the way you think, Jones. Are you gonna shove him in or what?" 

"The dude is like, 250lbs of muscle. I couldn't move him if I tried, but with your help, I could. What do you say?" I nodded and headed over to the dock. 

"Hey Raph!" he looked up from his comic book, "Can you come here? I wanna sit with you on the dock." He shot up and practically ran over to sit next to me. Once he sat down I could hear Casey behind us. He snuck up and tried to shove Raph, pushing with what looked like all his might, but to no avail. Raph didn't budge. 

"Casey Jones, you knucklehead. What do you think you're doing?" He sounding amused, good. That means he won't expect what I'm about to do. I stood up and helped push, Raph fell in. There was a huge splash as he flailed his limbs. When he resurfaced he glared at us, the water practically steamed around him. Casey was cackling like a madman. 

Laying down on the edge of the dock, I reached out and tapped his nose. "Aww someone got wet. What happened Raphie?" He glared at me.

"Oh jeez, I have no clue. Why don't you fill me in here, bud?" He crossed his arms and shifted his weight. Wait can he stand there?

"Well it appears to me, that somehow Casey managed to shove you in the water all by himself. Must've had an adrenaline rush or something." I inspected my nails as I answered him. He wasn't buying my story. "Raph don't worry, you're a turtle. Water is good for yo-" I was cut off as I was shoved in the water by a certain Jones boy. I came up from the murky water and looked at Casey. With betrayal written all over my face I said, "Casey I'm hurt? All I did was help you get revenge, and you betray me like this? How dare you."

All he did was snort, "You'll get over it." 

"Yes, yes I will. Because I'll get you back when you least expect it. Will it be today? Tomorrow? Maybe years from now. You'll never know." I gave him a terrifying grin and he ran off. I turned to look at my favorite turtle friend. He was standing there watching Casey run to April. She was definitely displeased her soaking wet boyfriend was trying to grab her. As I gazed at him, I realized I never noticed Raph got a lot taller. If I tried to touch the bottom of the pond my nose could barely stay above the water, but Raph was fine. His shoulders were clearly visible above the water. I could even see his biceps. Damn he's been working out, they looked good and, oh my god I need to stop checking him out before he notices. He shifted his gaze back towards me, catching me staring at his arms. Damn, he caught me.

He grinned. "Like what you see?" He flexed his arms and I think my ovaries exploded. Oh my God. I think I'm in love. I snapped out of whatever spell I was under and felt the blood rush to my face.

"Shut up..." I mumbled and turned away from him. 

"Woah, wait are you blushing?" Using his plastron to push off, I swam back to shore. I could hear him laughing all the way. Stupid Casey. Stupid attractive, muscular, meaty, Raph. 

As the day went on we made a campfire near the lake. Donnie and Leo came back from their nature hike, led by Mikey, looking exhausted. Mikey, of course, was grinning ear to ear. I whispered to Donnie, "What did he do to you guys." 

"I think we hiked, no, sprinted up every mountain here. Mikey got really excited and ran ahead so Leo and I had to chase him to keep up. He's the only one who knew where we were going." I gave him a sympathetic look and patted him on his shell. 

"Don't worry Don, there's hot dogs to comfort you now." As I spoke, April emerged from the house carrying a plate of them and sticks to cook them over the fire. Later we would have smores and shoot fireworks. The boys had never seen them so we decided we had to get some in Pennsylvania. Sure it was an extra 45 minutes to get there, but it would be worth it to see the looks on their faces.

We sat in a circle around the fire, Raph on my left and April on my right. Passing around the hot dogs we stuck them over the fire, cooking them. Mikey's caught on fire almost immediately. He flung his stick around, frantically trying to put it out until Donnie grabbed it and blew it out.

"Thanks dude." He happily put his blackened hot dog on a bun. He immediately spat it out, "Bleh! This tastes so bad! "

"No shit Sherlock, you burnt it to a crisp!" Raph yelled. He looked more amused than anything, despite his tone. The night continued on with Mikey continuously burning his food. After his third burnt marshmallow I took the stick from him. 

"You're done. I'll cook your marshmallows because I'm worried you'll burn the whole forest down." Mikey didn't seem to care. 

Shortly after this incident, everyone went back to the house. Everyone except Raph and I. We sat near the fire together, enjoying its warmth. I wanted to talk to him about how I felt, how I was worried about him breaking my heart again. Whenever I tried, the words just wouldn't come out. I would start to say something, but it was like a barrier was there keeping the words trapped behind my mouth. What if I ruined what we have right now? But I want to tell him. I'm tired of second guessing my feelings for him. If I just tell him and get it over with we could move on. 

"Cas!" While I was thinking, I never noticed Raph was talking to me. I whipped my head around to look at him. 

"Yea?" 

"I'm gonna take a guess here and say you didn't hear me. I asked if there was something you wanted to tell me. You keep looking at me and opening your mouth to say something but then you turn away. Just tell me what it is."

Oh boy. "Oh. Um. Well.. How do I phrase this..." I sat there thinking about how to approach the situation. "I've decided I do want to date you again." He grinned, "But there's one thing holding me back," now he looked confused, "I'm worried I'll get hurt again and then we'll go back to being distant. I can't do that again Raph..." I trailed off, not meeting his eyes. He didn't say anything so I assumed he was mad, as he should be. Eventually, he spoke.

"Cas, everyone gets hurt in a relationship. Hell, my last girlfriend hurt me so bad I was unable to save my brothers from freaking aliens." Wait, his last girlfriend? The guys never said anything about him having a girlfriend while I was gone. "But we move on from that. And besides, we've changed from our past selves, we're not 15 anymore. We're adults now, we can handle our situations a little more maturely."

"Oh yea? Like getting revenge by shoving someone in the lake." He smirked and rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean you dork." He pulled me close to him. "If you want to wait longer that's fine. I understand." 

Wow. He really has changed, hasn't he? He doesn't lose his temper nearly as much and he's a little more patient. He's more mature. I decided then and there what I wanted. "No, I'm tired of waiting." And with that, I kissed him.

He was surprised at first but quickly kissed back. It had been so long since we'd done this and even though we were embracing each other, my heart yearned for him. I didn't want to admit it before but I really missed him while I was gone. I started to cry. He pulled away and looked at me concerned. 

"What's wrong?"

"I just- I missed you so much! I didn't want to be honest with myself about it, but this whole time I kept missing you!" I wiped my eyes and he pulled me to him, embracing me while I cried on his shoulder. We stood like that for awhile, even as the flames started to die down and eventually go out. When I finally pulled away to look at him, I noticed the fireflies behind him. They floated around behind him, occasionally lighting up over the small lake. It was mesmerizing to watch and calming as well. Raph turned to look at them and his eyes widened. "Isn't it pretty?" I asked. He only nodded, silently watching.

After watching them for awhile I kept nodding off. After the fifth or sixth time Raph suggested we go back to the farm house. He led me back, holding my hand on the way there. I couldn't see where we were walking and I tripped on an exposed root. "Alright. You're done walking." After picking me up off the forest floor, he carried me in his arms. I drifted off to sleep sometime on the way back.

Raphs POV

She fell asleep in my arms, how cute. I smiled as I watched her sleep, before walking into the house and set her down.

"Woah bro, I haven't seen you smile in awhile. Are you sick or something?" Ugh, Mikey. He was watching tv in the living room.

"Mikey, I will literally pummel you if you don't shut up!"

He held his hands up, "Down Raph, I'm happy for you." I just glared at him. "So uh, did she say yes? You know, to getting back with you?" I laid her out on a different couch and sat next to Mikey, he offered me a drink and I took it from him.

"Yea, she did actually." 

Mikey's face exploded into a grin, "DUDE that's so awesome!" He patted me on the back of my shell. "Congrats bro! We were all rooting for you two to get back together!" 

"Thanks little bro, I appreciate it." 

"Maybe this time you two will get farther than first base!" I nearly spat out my drink. I could feel the heat rising to my face from embarrassment!

"Mikey what the hell! You can't say shit like that!" All he did was laugh until (Y/n) started to wake up. She opened her eyes and looked at the two of us, her hair all over her head. After blinking a few times she looked at me, smiled, and plopped face first back into the couch. 

"Awww. She's so cute!" Mikey whispered, "You got really lucky with this one Raph. No offense but Mona Lisa was a little on the uglier side." 

"Yea, and your time traveling crush wasn't? We had weird tastes back then, and besides, she wasn't ugly. She was a lizard, a space lizard." Wait, why was I defending her? We broke up awhile ago. 

Mikey held his hands up, "Whatever you say dude. All I'm saying is this one's a keeper. Treat her right." I watched as he stood up and stretched. "Well I'm going to bed, night Raph." 

"Night, Mikey." He left and I slumped on the couch. I knew I was lucky, he didn't have to tell me something I already know. I looked at my girl again, I should really put her in her actual bed, shouldn't I? 

I stood up slowly, feeling the exhaustion of the fun filled day taking over. I went to pick up Cas, but she woke up again! She never used to be this light of a sleeper.

"What're you doing?" She sounded like she was still asleep.

"I'm putting you to bed, you fell asleep earlier." She stood up, went to her bag and took one of her pills. God I hate that stupid disease. 

She told me, "I wanna sleep with you." She put her arms around my neck and leaned against me. "Pretty please, Raph? I missed you."  
My brain went into overdrive and my face heated up. Oh my god. Okay we're both over 18 so it shouldn't be a big deal right? Casey and April were sharing a room anyway, so if anyone said anything I could just point a finger at them and say-. All my thoughts stopped when I heard a soft snore. Did she fall back asleep? And standing up too? Jeez, what a talent. I sighed and picked her up. 

Walking towards my room she still snored, I hope it didn't get louder. When we reached my room, I laid her down and climbed in with her. I didn't know what to do after that but the problem was solved when she grabbed me and pulled herself closer. "Warmth..." She muttered still out cold. I smiled and wrapped one of my arms around her, I had missed her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter! Also keep an eye out for a new one I'm starting for a Soulmate AU for Donnie. I think I'm gonna write a oneshot for each of the guys too for different Soulmate AU's. IF you have a request just comment and I'll see it.


	12. Turtle Tots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie fucks up in the most adorable way possible

After the week at the farmhouse was over, we had to go back home. I personally was NOT looking forward to returning to the smoggy city, but Donnie certainly was. He was practically bouncing in his seat next to me. Something about a new experiment to start? I have no clue so when Donnie rambled off about science and things again, I looked to Raph in hopes he would provide an explanation, but by the look on his face, I could tell he was just as confused as me! When we finally made it back to the lair, Donnie sprinted from the dingy van and went straight to his lab. "Wonder what's got his panties in a twist," Raph said. 

"Did anyone understand what he was talking about in the van?"

"Nope."

"Definitely not."

"Not a clue."

We all shrugged it off and after unpacking went out separate ways. Raph and I to the dojo, Mikey to the living room, and Leo to Sensei's old room.

About an hour or two later, Raph and I were in the middle of training when Donnie suddenly ran in, "Raph can you come to my lab for a sec?" he looked at me with slight concern before agreeing. He wasn't even gone five minutes before Donnie rushed back in practically screaming, "I NEED HELP!!" I followed him to the lab and the sight before me was... ADORABLE! Somehow Donnie had changed the brothers back into toddlers! They were all so cute! Of course Raph was the cutest but that's not because I'm biased or anything. Speaking of Raph, he was fuming. The string of cuss words coming out of his toddler mouth was amusing with his higher pitched voice. I immediately grabbed and enveloped him in a hug. 

He struggled, "Let me go! I'm gonna kill Donnie! I ain't going through puberty twice!" The image of a pre-pubescent Raph sent me into a fit of giggles. "This ain't a joke, Y/n!! That crazy bastard wanted to test out his new gadget and it made us toddlers!" 

I held him out, "Now Raphie-poo. I'm sure your big brother Donnie can fix this. Right, Donnie?" He wouldn't make eye contact with me. Oh no. "Donnie, you can fix this, right?" 

"Actually, I need to make the antidote still... Sorry guys." He looked nervous as Leo and Raph glared at him from below. Mikey didn't seem to care. He sat and span around in his brother's chair as if nothing had changed. Donnie ran out of the lab, saying something about making the antidote.

"Dudes, this is actually pretty fun! We should be little kids more often!" 

"Can it, Mikey! Some of us don't want to be kids anymore!" Raph was clearly pissed so I set him down and looked them all over. Leo's katana blades were way too big for his little body and as I looked at the guys, I realized the guys could barely hold them, much less wear them! I won't lie, it was pretty cute but they kept getting in the way of the guys walking so I went around and took them from them. Leo gave me his willingly, Raph had to be tackled for his, and I had to distract Mikey by tickling him while Donnie grabbed his nunchucks. The lesson I learned from that was the boys are super protective of their weapons. 

Walking into sensei's old room to put the weapons away, I saw an old binder on the floor. Approaching the book I went to pick it up only to see it lay open to reveal a photo. On closer inspection, I realized it was of the guys as they are now, toddlers. Sensei was holding them all in his arms with a peaceful smile for the photo but you could see the exhaustion behind his eyes; raising four mutant children couldn't possibly be an easy task. My heart ached as I flipped through the photo album. They were mostly photos of the guys, but there was one group of photos in particular that caught my eye. It was a photo of Splinter asleep in the chair from the living room. The photo itself seemed innocent enough but when I looked closer I could 2 of the guys hiding behind the chair. The next photo was a close up of Sensei's face, except now it was being vandalized by Mikey and Raph! I snorted as I flipped the page to the next photo, Sensei was awake and up. There was a quizzical look on his face as he looked down at the two giggling boys on the floor. Leo was in the corner of the photo with a small smirk on his face. The final photo was of Splinter's face glaring down at the camera as he stood in front of a mirror. Even back then the boys were always mischievous! I kept flipping through the book and it was like watching the boys grow up. There were bathtub photos, one of the guys sleeping in a dogpile in front of the T.V., when Raph first got a crack on his shell, Donnie's first explosion, Mikey's first attempt at cooking, and even Leo's first time watching space heroes. Looking through the book revealed other gems like those, but I stopped when I reached one of the last photos in the book. Sensei was in the center with each of the guys around him. Mikey was hugging him, Raph and Leo stood on each of his sides, and Donnie squatted to fit in at the bottom. April must've taken the photo. My thoughts turned to Sensei and how the first few months after he died. How the boys must've felt crushed, their father and teacher gone without warning. I knew from what April had told me Leo and Raph argued more so than ever before, Mikey holed up in his room for the first week and only left for food, and Donnie never stopped working in his lab until he collapsed from exhaustion. Mikey had heard the crash and had Raph help him get Donnie to bed.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I brushed my hand against the photo, "You'd be proud of how much farther they've come Sensei. They've helped so many people and done so many amazing things-" There was a knock from behind me. 

Raph stood looking at me, "What are you looking at (Y/n)?" Lifting the book so he could see, his eyes went from curious to melancholy. "Dad," I pulled him onto my lap, something I couldn't do when he was his normal size, and flipped through the book. "I still miss him like crazy, I mean, not as bad as before but it's still hard." I let him hold the book while I wrapped my arms around his little body and put my chin on his head. I knew what he was talking about. My mom died a long time ago, I don't think about her all the time, but when I do the pain feels just as intense as the day she left me. We finished the first book and went through a second one. Eventually, Leo and Mikey wandered in, wondering what was taking so long. When they saw what Raph was holding they immediately sat on either side of me, each one peering at the photosets. At first, it was silent but soon the sadness in the air left and was replaced by laughter. The second album was full of funny moments in the lair Splinter had secretly taken photos of.

We were halfway through the album when Donnie walked in, "Alright guys, bad news. The antidote needs to set for a few days and I need one more ingredient before I can even make it."

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Raph bellowed as he leapt from my lap. "Donnie, I'm gonna pummel you!" He ran over to his brother and started punching his legs. Donnie sighed and picked up the screaming child, making sure to hold him at arm's length away to avoid a barrage of tiny arms and legs.

"But after I finish it, you should all go back to normal. The process will take a few days, but within a week everyone should go back to being 19."

Brushing myself off as I stood up I asked, "Sounds good, so where's this other ingredient at? Can I just go grab it at the supermarket."

Donnie didn't meet my eyes. "Actually-" the guys groaned, "I need to go to the farm, there were some plants around the property I need. I texted April and asked if that was fine and she and Casey are going to drive me up there to grab what I need. We'll spend the night there then head back." 

"Okay, just be quick though. I don't think your brothers enjoy this too much." Donnie left the room to get packed. Looking down at the three children I realized something, I had to babysit them. "Shit."

Leo tilted his head, "What's wrong?"

"I have to watch you three ding-dongs until Donnie gets back."

Mikey pouted, "We don't need you to watch us (Y/n). We're 19!"

"Yea, mentally. But what if someone came to attack you while we were away? What would you do? Your limbs are so small and they would easily win." This got them to stop whining fairly quickly. 

A few hours later Donnie was all packed to go. "Thank you (Y/n), I'm really sorry you got dragged into this."

Patting his back, I gave him a soft smile, "It's no biggie Donnie, I'll hold down the fort while you're gone."

He smiled, "I know you will." He started to walk out before turning around, "Today was bath day, so make sure they get clean." With that, he walked to the van and climbed inside. I turned back to the boys. They looked up at me with an expression of "now what" written across their faces. 

"Alright, so Donnie told me you all need baths-" Raph and Mikey paled and looked ready to flee, "Oh come on, you guys are 19. You can handle a bath." They shook their heads quickly and ran off in different directions. Leo stood there and looked where his brothers had run off to. Now I see why Sensei told me good luck. "Guys come on! I'm not chasing you down just so you don't smell!"

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Mikey was jumping up and down in excitement on top of the fridge. How did he get there? "We could play hide and seek! We're small enough to fit in those places again!" Leo and Raph both looked at him with wide grins on their faces. "If you can't find us in 10 minutes, we don't have to take a bath."

"Get ready to get your ass whooped, (Y/n)!" Raph yelled from somewhere in the living room.

"We won't leave the lair, and you have to count to 100," Leo explained. I guess he wants to play too. I looked at them suspiciously before nodding my head. They all ran off and I started to count.

By the time I had finished counting, the lair was absolutely silent. I walked around the living room, looking for them. I checked under the couch, the cushions, and even under the center table. I gave up on there and headed to the kitchen. I checked all the cabinets, nothing. I groaned and heard a sneeze. I whipped around. "Where are you, ya brat." I eyed my surroundings before landing on the fridge. No, they wouldn't. I opened the fridge to reveal no turtle was hiding there. I moved to the freezer and there was Mikey, hiding with ice cream kitty. 

"Awww you found me!" He whined as I helped him out the freezer. He felt so cold! 

"Mikey you ding-dong! You're a cold-blooded turtle! You shouldn't go in there or you'll hibernate." He just shrugged at me. I grabbed a blanket from the living room to get him warmed up and a shell went flying to the floor! Leo popped his head and limbs out, groaning as he rubbed his head. "Leo, what the hell?! You were hiding INSIDE the blanket?" 

"Yes, yes I was. And you just dropped me on my head!" 

"You'll be fine, you were in your shell." I walked over to Mikey and gave him the blanket. They both sat on the couch and looked at me. 

"We'll sit here while you find Raph. Good luck!" Mikey sent me off towards the dojo. I opened the door and looked around inside. 

"Raph~ where are you?" I walked into the dimly lit dojo searching for the final turtle. I looked at the tree and smiled, he would hide there. I looked up inside the tree but saw nothing. I groaned and looked down at my feet, out of the corner of my eye I saw a hole in the tree at the base. No, he couldn't fit there. I looked closer and saw a shell. What is with these turtle tots and hiding like this? I took a hold of the shell and pulled him out. 

He popped out of his shell and glared at me, "Took you long enough!" 

"Can it short stack. I won and that's all that matters. Now you all have to go take a bath." He groaned and marched off to his brothers. 

"Aw darn, she found Raph!"

"That's right, now all of you go take a bath." Leo lead them all to the bathroom and I got the water started. I gave them everything they'd need and let them get clean. 

After their bath's it was late so I sent them to bed. When they were all tucked in I sat on the couch with a sigh. They had tired me out a little, not that I would admit that to them. Soon I drifted off to sleep. 

The next day went by smoothly but started out with Mikey shaking me awake. 

"(Y/nnnnnnn)," he whined, "We're hungry! Get us breakfast!" I stood up and stretched with a yawn. I rubbed my eyes and looked at them. 

"What time is it?" I asked them.

"7 in the morning," Leo informed me. I groaned. 

"Why. Why would you be up this early, you guys are never up this early. Well, sometimes Leo is but not you two!"

"Hey! You're the babysitter until Donnie gets home so you gotta take care of us." Raph crossed his arms and gave me a look. 

"Boi, do not test me." I pointed at him. "I can and will put you in timeout." 

"Pfht. You wouldn't." 

Oh, that's it. I grabbed one of the chairs and made it face the wall. "Sit." He looked at me like I was crazy. "I'm not kidding. Five minutes then you can get up." His brothers started snickering and Raph looked ready to pop. "If you throw a tantrum it'll be ten instead of five." He stomped over to the chair and plopped down in it without saying a word. After that incident, the day went smoothly until Casey, April, and Donnie made it home. The first thing Donnie did was run to his lab and started brewing the antidote. 

The rest of the week was spent with Donnie making the antidote and the boys gradually growing after they took it. About five days in they looked like they were 15, when I first met them. 

"Wow, this is a blast from the past," I said as I looked them over. I smiled as I got to Raph, "I'm finally taller than you!" He just rolled his eyes at me.

"Only for today. By tomorrow I'll be taller than you again." 

"Mhm." I put a hand on my hip and shifted my weight to one leg. "But until then, I can say I'm taller than you. I can always say I was taller than you at some point in your life, and guess what? You can't deny it." That seemed to irk him. I watched as his face seemed to grow red with rage but he took a deep breath and counted down from ten. This was a new development. Normally when he was this old he would've had some witty come back or yelled at me.

The next day he looked to be a little older. Some of his scars reappeared, and yes, he was taller than me. I looked up at the towering turtle giant. He looked down at me, a smug grin on his face. "What did I say? Taller than you by the next day."

I playfully nudged him, "Yea yea, keep it up and I'll throw you in the sewer water."

His smug grin turned into a playful one, "That sounds like a threat."

I poked him in the chest, "That's because it is turtle-boy." He went to grab me but I ducked out of his reach. I tried to make a break for it, but with his longer legs he caught up pretty quickly. I felt his arms wrap around me and lift me up. 

"You're all bark and no bite," he said as he carried me closer to the water.

"RAPHAEL HAMATO. I WILL END YOUR LIFE IF YOU DARE THROW ME IN THERE." I tried to escape his grasp but to no avail. I looked at his brothers on the couch, "Guys come on! Help me out here! I have my phone on me!"

Mikey and Leo came over and relief coursed through me. Raph watched them intently, "Here Raph let me get that for you." Leo lifted my legs so now I was parallel to the floor. 

Raph chuckled, "Thanks, Leo. Could always use a helping hand."

"Can't forget this!" Mikey added. I felt my phone move from my back pocket. Laughing, he started to record me being tortured.

"THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT YOU ASS!" I flipped off Mikey and Donnie, who was just watching this all while laughing! Leo and Rapt carried me over to the edge of the water.

"Any last words, beautiful?" Raph asked with a shit eating grin.

"I want a restraining order and a divorce," I mumbled.

Mikey yelled, "Oooo, harsh dudette!" I have him a glare and saw he was still recording. God dammit. At least this would be funny when we all watch it later.

"Alright, I accept my fate." I let all my limbs go limp, "Throw me in boys." And with that, I was tossed into the freezing cold water. HOLY SHIT WAS IT COLD. I resurfaced with my teeth chattering, but I was grinning ear to ear. I may have given them a hard time, but I loved when we did stuff like this. Leo helped me out while Raph was dying of laughter re-watching true video Mikey had just taken. He wiped tears from his eyes and looked at me. They guys all started laughing again! "What's so funny now!"

Between laughs, Donnie got out, "You- hahaha. You look so angry in the video!"

After they got their laughter out Raph came over to pat me on the head. "Sorry short-stack, couldn't resist throwing you in there, ya know?" 

I grabbed him and shoved my freezing and soaked body onto him, wrapping him in a hug. Sweet revenge. "CAS HOLY SHIT. CAS GET OFF, YOU'RE COLD AND WET!" 

"Cry me a river, you big baby." I looked at his brothers and noticed Mikey recording again. An evil idea made its way into my brain, and I guess the guys could tell what I was up to because they all bolted.

A few minutes later, I had effectively gotten everyone else and now I was sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket with green tea, courtesy of April. Raph plopped next to me and he had aged a bit more. There was another scar, but this time on his shoulder. 

"You know, I never asked where you had gotten these from." I traced one with my finger. "Care to tell me?"

He looked surprised, "My scars? I got them from battles obviously." 

I rolled my eyes, "You know what I mean. I want the details, it's not like I was here to see it happen." 

He sat there and thought for a moment, "Well the one on my shoulder is from when we found a triceraton stuck here on earth. We were wandering the sewers, doing rounds right? And out of nowhere, BAM. The thing plowed right into me. I wrestled with it for awhile before it finally bit me, right on the shoulder!" He rubbed his scar absentmindedly. "Damn did that hurt. It took almost four days to heal, which is a long time for us. I know you humans take forever to heal, but four days is an eternity; especially when Donnie doesn't let you take out your pent up frustration on the ol' punching bag."

I noticed the one on his lip, "What about that one?" I touched his lip as I asked. It ran from halfway between his eyes and mouth but ended at his bottom lip. I had always wanted to know about it. He seemed to become pale, how strange.

"I don't think you want to know about that one Cas..." That intrigued me.

"Okay, now I definitely want to know. You know I'll just pester you until you tell me." I waited for him to answer, but got nothing. "Okay, I take back what I said. If it's that bad you don't have to tell me but-"

"I got it from a kiss." I stopped and stared at him. He looked nervous. "There was this arctic fox mutant, right? Her name was Alopex and we had a kind of relationship. It was really brief because she was just using me to help Shredder but anyway, we kissed for the first time and she attacked my face." Oh my god, oh my god that is hilarious! He traced the scar. Did he think I would be upset about this? I burst out laughing. "Wait, you're not mad?" He sounded confused, his arms crossed as he waited for an answer.

Wiping tears from my eyes I finally responded. "Why would I be mad? This Alopex chick was before me. I mean is it gonna bother me she left a mark on you? Hell yea. But not because she's your ex. "I thought for a second as he raised an eyebrow at what I said. "Okay, it'll bother me a little, but it'll mainly bug me that she took advantage of your feelings like that. And besides, I've left some pretty nice marks on you myself." I said with a wink. His face turned a few shades darker from embarrassment and wouldn't look me in the eye. Aw, how cute! 

Chuckling nervously he finally looks at me, "Okay, yeah. I was worried you'd be pissed," he trailed off. Scooting closer to me, he places his arm on me and continues, "So what about you?" I looked at him, what did he mean? "I'm asking if you have any scars doofus."

"Oh!" I internally facepalmed, of course that's what he meant, we were just talking about scars. I pulled off my sweatshirt, I was wearing a sports bra underneath so it wasn't a big deal. Besides Raph had seen me naked anyway. "Well, there should be a few marks on my side, those are from a fight with a yeti in the Himalayan mountains. I actually got this right before I met you." I twisted around so he could see better, "Then there's the one from the last tournament I did on my shoulder blade, but you know about that one." I felt his fingers trace the one on my back. 

"What about these? I've never asked about them before." Shit, not those.

"Oh. That one? Um, well. One of my Senseis was a little... harsh with his training." A dark look crossed over his features.

"What do you mean "harsh"."

"Like as in if I didn't perform to his standards his students would receive lashes."

"WHAT!" I cringed, I knew he'd react like this. "I'll kill him!"

"He's already dead Raph, he died peacefully in his sleep after one of his students poisoned him." He looked at me now relieved but also slightly concerned. I sighed, "No Raph, it wasn't me who poisoned him. He died a few months ago actually." Good riddance too. He sat there silently for a second before realizing something.

"Wait, you traveled with your dad right? Why didn't he do anything!"

"My dad was actually on a business trip in the nearest city, so he left me alone there. I was 17, he knew I could handle myself. Besides, if I'd never gone there I wouldn't be as resistant to pain as I am now. That's part of what he taught us, resistance to pain." He didn't look too thrilled with my response. "Babe, seriously, it's fine. I've long since stopped caring about them, I can't see them and scars look pretty bad ass."

He groaned and pulled me onto his lap, "I'll give you that, but jeez. What kind of teacher hits their students."

I snuggled into him, "A bad one, that's for sure." He hummed in agreement. 

 

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Hey kids, I literally have no excuse for the huge hiatus other than I lost motivation to write this. I have a few more chapters that have been finished for awhile, but I haven't gotten around to editing them until today. It just feels like no one is really enjoying these. I think the length of the story and the time it takes to get to actual content deters people early on. It's chill tho. Enjoy this chapter


	13. Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

I was sitting on the couch with Mikey when I saw it. There is was, like a sign from the heavens, a week long mixed martial arts competition right in New York City. I knew then that it was time to put myself back out there. I hadn't entered one in since I first came home all those years ago, I was too sick for awhile but now I'm feeling great! The first place winner would get $40,000 and would be on the cover of a popular martial arts magazine! I need the money to pay for my apartment but of course, when I brought it up to the guys they were against it.

"Cas, I don't think you're healthy enough to enter that," Leo told me.

Mikey gave his opinion too. "That's a no holds barred competition dudette! What if something happened?"

"I think you should get a physical exam to see if your lungs are healed enough for that," Donnie said.

Raph was no more supportive of the idea, not that it surprised me. "No way, absolutely not! If you start to cough up blood out there that's it! You could die, Cas! Why would you want to risk it!" 

I groaned, "Guys, I'm literally always down here fighting and training with you. How is this any different? All I'm doing is fighting against other mixed martial artists like myself. How bad could it get?" 

Raph had the remote and clicked the station to the review of last years competition. A man was screaming as he was pinned and his arm then broken by someone called King Oliver. I tried to keep my expression neutral but failed miserably. 

"You guys do realize that I've fought in harder battles and won when I was less experienced right?" 

Donnie spoke up, "But remember you were healthier then too." God damn it, Donnie.

"If I go get the stupid exam will you all feel better about me doing this?"

"Yes."

"Totally."

"Yea."

"No!" 

I felt myself growing more frustrated with my man. "Please realize I'm not asking for your permission to do this. I'm telling you I'm doing this. I'll get the exam done to make your brothers feel better. I don't know how to make you more comfortable with it but-" 

"Fight me." 

"Excuse me?" 

Raph stretched his arms, "You heard me. Let's fight. If you win then I'll feel comfortable with you-" 

I didn't give him a chance to finish as I threw a punch to his face. He narrowly dodged it, ducking and coming back up looking pissed. "What the fuck! I wasn't rea-" Another punch, this time it landed on his chin. His brothers quickly ran to the dojo to watch. We walked in at the same time, never taking out eyes off each other. When we were both inside, he swung. I crouched and swung my leg out, kicking his legs out from under him. He didn't fall but backflipped into a standing position. The fight continued for awhile like this until we were both drenched in sweat and breathing hard. Donnie, Leo, and Mikey were all watching with anticipation. He ran at me and tried to ram me down but I turned into it and flipped him over with a cry of victory. He landed harshly on his shell with a thud. I had won! I offered him a hand to help him up but he just glared at me. 

"Oh give it up you big baby, you lost but it's okay." Rolling his eyes he took my hand but brought me down to the mat next to him. He dragged me to him and held me there. "Raph ew, come on. You're really gross and sweaty right now." I saw him look at his brothers and he must've given them a weird look because they all left immediately with scared expressions. When they left and shut the door Raph sat us up with a groan. 

He looked down at me with his emerald eyes, "I didn't mean to give you such a hard time, but I'm just worried. What if you had another fit in the middle of the fight? We couldn't do anything since you're too far away and you'd be taken away to the hospital." 

I sighed, "First of all it's only on the opposite side of the city. Secondly, I get that you're worried, but I've been training my whole life for this kind of thing. It's my hobby and my career. If I don't compete I won't be able to make money and it's been awhile since the last one so I'm starting to run short on funds. Besides that, it's not like the competitors are allowed to kill each other, just maim and maybe torture a little." He grimaced. "If it makes you feel better, I'll still get that exam and the whole event is televised so you can watch me win on live T.V."

He groaned, "Fine, fine. Just be careful okay? I'd like you to come to me in one piece." I grinned and kissed him.

The next day I was at the convention, my dad beaming with pride behind me as I walked into the room to face my first opponent. When the crowd saw me they got quiet. I heard murmurs.

"Isn't that the Timber girl?" 

"I think so!" 

"Oh my god. I thought she died!"

"It's been so long since she's entered a competition!" I ignored everyone around me as they announced my opponent. 

"This match will be black belt karate master Andrew Ganther versus-" they trailed off, "Wait is that really her? They just confirmed this is in fact (Y/n) Timber! Nicknamed the Timber Wolf and three-time champion of this tournament!" I watched as the blood seemed to drain from my opponents face, I smirked, I was ready to win this.

That was six days ago. I beat Andrew and now I'm at the finals. Me versus last year's winner, nicknamed King Oliver. It seems they found my replacement those few years I was gone. I glanced around the room, the arena was crowded with people trying to watch from past the doorways. I felt a smile grow on my face as I thought about how my Raph was watching from his T.V. at home cheering me on. It filled me with determination. I had an hour or so before I even had to worry about taking my pill so I would be fine. The referee gestured for us to get ready and I gave a smile to the cameras. Raph would see it and know it's for him. 

The match started and I stared at Oliver and him at me. He suddenly sprinted at me and aimed a punch at my head l. I stepped to the side and went to body flip him but he twisted around and somehow managed to flip me over. I landed with a splat on the mat. He went to kick me in the side but I rolled out of the way and flipped to get up. We paced around the mat, keeping our eyes locked on each other. He ran at me again, kicking over and over at me, I had to use my arms to block and push him away. At one point his ankle got close enough to my hand that I grabbed it and brought him to the ground. I took his ankle and twisted it painfully, dislocating it and earning a howl from the guy. He swung his other leg around and nailed me in the head. I backed off, holding my head while he hastily relocated his ankle. We paced around the mat again, the room dead silent. Oliver was limping but my vision was a little blurry. I'd be okay, but so would he. 

This kind of fighting continued for well over an hour, both of us were aching and bruised, but unwilling to back down. He finally spoke. "I know normally a spoiled little daddy's girl wouldn't like losing, but you should be satisfied with second place right? I mean, maybe if ask nicely I won't hurt your pretty face" I stayed silent and glared at him. I won't give him the reactions he's looking for. "I don't know why they even let a girl into this competition. You aren't even that good at this. Your dad is wayyyy better, at least he could've taken a beating better than you could. Guess he knew you were gonna be a big flop and that's why he never trained you himself." Just ignore him (Y/n), don't give him what he wants. "I mean, maybe that's why your mom died. You weren't strong enough then to save her, and you aren't strong enough now to save yourself." How fucking dare he. THAT'S IT. Letting out a guttural scream, I ran at him and faked a punch, when he dodged it I brought my elbow down on his head as hard as I could. He fell to the mat and stayed down for a second. I gave him a chance to get up, I wouldn't fight someone who's stuck down on the ground. It's pathetic. He slowly stood with a chuckle, "Lucky shot." He let out a set of kicks and punches until he finally landed one on my stomach. I crumpled and while I was crouched he kicked me hard in the face. I stumbled and he took my arm. I remember this guy now. He was the one who broke his competitors arm last year! I almost had to face him way back during my first visit home but he got disqualified! I knew I'd lose if I let him break my arm so I moved so he would only dislocate it, that was much easier to fix. I let out a cry of pain as I felt my shoulder move out of socket. Leaning down close to my face, he started to say something but I head butted him away. He stumbled back holding his nose. I stood and quickly relocated my arm. Now we were even. 

We glared at each other, neither one moving. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, it was time for my pill. With a shout, I kicked him in the jaw as he threw another punch. He didn't fall but instead advanced towards me. "This win is mine!" he bellowed as he spun around and kicked me in the side. Uh oh. He got close to my face and pinned me down on the mat. "Now you're going to be in the worst pain of your life!" He yelled into my face, I responded by hacking blood onto his face. He got quiet as realization of what just happened dawned upon him. I took advantage of that hesitation and used his weight against him to roll us over so I was pinning King Oliver. As he squirmed under me, yelling obscenities at me, I brought my fists above my head and swung them down as hard as I could onto his face. He passed out immediately and the arena went silent. I shakily stood up.

"After a long fought battle, the Timber Wolf is declared the winner!" The audience roared in approval. I gave a grin and a thumbs up to the camera to show Raph and the guys I was okay. A medal was placed around my neck as a trophy and flowers were handed to me. I smiled for the camera even though I bet I looked like a mess. I had blood on my face and bruises all over. I could feel the scratches on my face and arms from his nails.

"That's not fair! She cheated!" Oh great, he's awake. I turned to say something witty but was met instead with a fist to the face. I fell backward and scrambled to get back up. He pulled out a sai from his belt and I felt the blood drain from my face. How did he smuggle that in here!? I started to cough again but he just laughed as people backed away from us. I could hear my Dad calling my name, but he was too far away and there were too many people trying to escape. I felt blood trickle from my mouth onto the mat as he kicked me hard so I rolled over to face the camera closest to me. It had fallen down at some point and although the lens had a crack in it, I saw the red light on the top meaning this camera was the one currently broadcasting. I smiled into it, "I'm totally going to make it but just so you know, I love you." I let out a cry of pain as something whizzed by me, nicking my arm. Looking at the camera I saw a throwing knife embedded in the lens, ending the broadcast. 

"So you're seeing someone huh?" He slowly walked towards me, the sai still in his hands. I didn't respond but instead attempted to get back on my feet. "How could someone as pitiful as you have won against me? How could someone like you have someone special? A war machine like you doesn't deserve to be happy! All you're good for is fighting and you're not even good at that! You will never amount to anything else." He continues to spit out insults until I interrupted his berating.

"Why can't you just accept you lost?" I growled at him. 

"I've been the winner the past four years you've been gone! When you left, everyone finally realized I was the best fighter, not you!" He snarled and ran at me, I braced myself for the fight to continue.

Once he got close to me, he started swiping left and right. "I SHOULD BE THE WINNER," It took everything I had to dodge the sharp blade. Thankfully Raph and I spar like this all the time so I have some experience. The only difference is this guy is quicker. A lot quicker. "I've been training my whole life for this! Training day after day, working my ass off! That's something a spoiled little daddy's girl like you wouldn't understand!" He sliced my face again and I hissed in pain. "When I heard your name announced six days ago, I knew it was fate. I was destined to surpass you, your time to shine is long over!" I knocked the blade from his hand and when it clattered to the ground he grabbed at it, "I won't let you beat me!" I took my knee and swung it into his side. He sprawled sideways and stayed down. 

Breathing a sigh of relief, I fell to the ground. 

I'm so tired. 

=====================================================================================================  
Raph's POV:

"NO!" Grabbing the T.V. I shook it. I felt my brother's try to grab me to drag me away from the T.V. but it was no use. My girl, the love of my life was hurt. Wounded beyond comprehension and I was stuck here. Unable to help. The station flicked over to the news, reporting what just happened but all I felt was angers and numbness to anything around me except the T.V now showing my girlfriends face. I felt my fingers go through the screen, breaking it, but I kept squeezing. I refused to believe she was anything but okay. I would've stayed like that forever, afraid and upset, if it weren't for Leo.

"Raph, please. You're hurting yourself and scaring Mikey.." 

I looked down at my hands, they were oozing blood and it dripped down my arms. I looked at Leo before easing my grip on the T.V.

I heard Donnie's voice, "She's okay."

"How could you possibly know that Don? I smashed the T.V." I must've sounded miserable.

"Because I have a backup in the lab and the news just reported she's in the hospital getting taken care of as we speak. There's only one major injury reported."

I straightened up, "Her lungs?" He nodded and I finally felt myself relax. I needed to hear that, now all I could do was wait until night to go visit her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy lovelies, I procrastinated writing a 10 page paper for this (which is over 7 pages lolol)


	14. Feeling fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter before we can get to the final arc of the story

I woke up in a daze, glancing around I could see I was in a hospital room illuminated by the moon. I groaned out loud, "Not again!" No one heard me. My bed was next to the window and it had a little window sill with cards and flowers on it. I guess people had visited me. "How long was I out," I wondered out loud.

"A day." Came a gruff voice from the dark.

"Raph! Oh my lord, are you trying to give me a heart attack!" He didn't laugh, or give a witty response. Uh-oh. The big guy's pissed, isn't he? "Listen, Raph, honey, I know you're mad but I-"

"I'm not mad."

I paused, "Wait. What?" 

"I said I'm not mad, I'm just glad you're alright." He took my small hand into his bigger one. I saw the bandages covering his hands. What did he do? He stroked my hand with his thumb, "I was worried about you during the whole fight, I was relieved when it was all over and you had won." He clenched his teeth and I could hear the pure unadulterated hatred in his voice, "then that asshole decided to try and start more shit and when all I saw was your face in the camera, telling me you loved me, I was just- just so fuckin' mad! I haven't been that mad since I was a teenager! I trashed my whole room! I even broke the T.V." He cringed, "It wasn't pretty. I kept replaying your words in my head, just completely enraged with- with everything! I wanted to go kill that douchebag right then, and then I was mad at myself for not going with you! For not protecting you! even after Donnie told me the hospital had taken you, I'm just- I'm so sorry, Cas." He brought my hand to his forehead as he bent over my bed, sitting in the chair next to me now. He looked so upset and fraught, very un-Raph like. My poor man.

"Babe, you couldn't have done anything, even if you were there. Were you going to just waltz in and kick some ass? You couldn't of even if you were there because then you would expose yourself and your brothers."

"But I-"

"Sh, honey you're fine! Everything's okay, I'm okay. You're okay." I eyed his hands and held them up gingerly, hoping to get a better look at the blood-soaked bandages. 'Well except for your hands you're okay. What did you do to them they look like they hurt."

He chuckled a little before looking up at me, his emerald green eyes stared into mine. "That's from the fight with the T.V. I mentioned earlier. If you can't tell, the T.V. won."

I giggled, "Mhm." bringing his hand closer I kissed the palm of each one. I looked back up at him and he seemed a lot calmer now. "I wish I wasn't hooked up to all this equipment, I would love to cuddle with you right now." After six days of no Raph, a girl tends to get withdrawals. 

"You'll be out soon, and when you are we can go right back to our old life." He kissed 

I nodded and yawned, the ache and tire of the day catching back up to me. "Maybe you should go back to sleep, Cas. Donnie says that helps with healing or something like that."

"But I miss youuuuu," I whined as I tried to wrap my arms around him. 

He smiled, "I know, but you'll see me soon, dollface." With that, he told me he loved me, kissed me, and somehow left undetected.

About a week later I was allowed to leave the hospital. My dad had stopped by and so had April with Casey once. The guys all managed to sneak in one night too, but they almost got caught a few times. Raph himself visited me every night he could, and if he wasn't in the room he was texting me. It was honestly pretty cute and by the time I was released, I was racing to the sewers to see him.

I burst through the entrance looking for him. I spotted him walking from the fridge on his phone, not paying attention. Sprinting over, I jumped onto him, effectively koala bearing him in a hug. He stumbled, a confused look on his rugged face, before grinning and hugging me back. "Welcome back, Babe." Kissing my cheek he set me down gingerly. "You're not aching anywhere are you?"

"Well, to be honest, my ribs still kind of hurt sometimes but it'll be fine." He didn't look too thrilled with my 'it'll be fine' routine but before he could say something I was grabbed from behind by someone else. 

"Welcome home dudette!" I was being hoisted over Mikey's head and as he held me over his head he called for his brothers, "GUYS, CAS IS BACK!" I heard his two brothers come barreling out of their rooms and ran into the main lobby. Mikey put me down and hugged me gently. "Its good to have you back, dude." Donnie and Leo both hugged me as well before we all began talking about the tournament. Mikey made tea as we all sat in the lounge area.

Leo seemed really excited to know all about what was going on and all the rules. "So you can use whatever form of martial arts you want at any time! I thought you could only use one type the entire time."

I shook my head, "No, I mean if I wanted to I could've, but I didn't think that would be too smart."

Donnie nodded in agreement, "If you had, you probably wouldn't have won. Each martial arts has a flaw. For example, boxers don't protect their legs very well, if at all." 

Mikey handed out everyone's tea. "Hey, Cas. Were you ever scared during your fight? You looked really concentrated."

Huh? Was I scared? I thought for a second while I drank my tea. "Well, I was super excited up until my final two matches. The second to last girl I fought was rough. She was super aggressive and never stopped coming at me, I was worried she'd kill me at one point." Laughing awkwardly, I avoided bringing up Oliver's fight. I didn't want to remember that. "Why do you ask?"

Mikey shrugged, "Just nice to know even the glorious "timber wolf" gets scared sometimes." I rolled my eyes and Raph nudged him for me. Sensei came out and sat with us, joining our conversation.

The rest of the day went like this, and I was grateful. I had missed seeing everyone all the time, it felt as though something was missing if I wasn't with them. Then it dawned on me, these guys are my family. I loved these guys like my own family! 

I sat contently in Raphael's room. This is exactly where I wanted to be, here with him. After lifting my shirt above my head, I felt two large arms wrap around me. Sighing in content, I leaned back for a moment before turning around to face him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I craned my head to look up at him, his eyes staring into mine. "Let's get to bed" his deep voice reverberated through his chest. 

"I'm trying to, but someone's making it difficult" He chuckled and I thought he was going to release me, but instead he started trailing kisses down my neck. "Hey! Your family is home!" I protested.

"That hasn't stopped us before." He muttered as he continued his attack on my neck.

"Raph!" I shouted, my face turning bright red. I buried my hands in my face. 

"Aw, (Y/n), wait lemme see." He tried pulling my hands away, he always enjoyed seeing me embarrassed!

"No way!" I ran and jumped onto his bed in an attempt to escape but he followed me there! He attempted to reach for my hands but I used my leg to push him away from me, "Back off turtle boy. I'd sooner die than let you see me embarrassed!"

He let out a small laugh, "A little over dramatic aren't we?"

"Yea, but you still love me." He sat back on his knees and looked thoughtful for a moment, "Raph!" Letting out a loud laugh he gathered me in his arms and pulled me close to his chest so we were spooning.

"You know I love you, ya pain in the ass." He kissed the top of my head and we joked around for a bit longer before finally drifting to sleep.

A loud crash woke us up. The two of us jolted awake and I looked at Raph before we both sprinted out to the living room.

"Donnie! What was that?" Leo had jolted out of his room.

"I don't know!" He must've been up all night again because he was already in his lab looking at the monitors. He hacked into the traffic light cameras above us, revealing a spacecraft. It looked like it was meant for two people, or in this case aliens. A large lizard lady came out of it and Raph's face paled. He looked like he was about to throw up.

"Mona Lisa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the absence, I've lost some interest in this and I've been busy so it's kinda sucked. But I have this and the next chapter ready to go and edited. I've also been writing a new reader insert for Sans the skeleton from Undertale. I've also got a Soulmate AU for Donnie x reader started up. It's like 50% done and the sans one is already 36 pages long so there's that.


	15. Enter Mona Lisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mona Lisa enters the spotlight

"Mona Lisa."

Whipping my head back towards the monitor I evaluated the woman. Why was that name so familiar?

"Quickly gear up guys! We'll have to go up to meet her." Leo didn't sound too enthused about this and looking when I went to look at his brothers, they looked as if they had just gotten the news their dog was run over.

After quickly changing we ran through the sewers until we reached the closest ladder to where she landed. I don't know why, but the guys all kept looking at Raph and me nervously. Who was this chick? April was already at the site just watching the alien lizard. 

"Turtles. Hello again. It has been a while has it not?" She smiled revealing sharp teeth. She stood taller than me but shorter than Raph. Speaking of Raph, he was acting rather odd. Normally he would be ready to throw down and fight, but instead, his eyes had a strange look in them as he stood gaping at her. I grabbed his hand and rubbed it with my thumb to try and soothe him. Her gaze travelled from person to person before landing on Raph, he stiffened, what was his deal today?

"Mona Lisa?" He whispered it but it sounded more like a question this time. 

"Raphael!" she ran to him, and while hugging him tightly, lifted him off the ground and spun him around. Okay, so she must be a friend then? Friends are good right? Oh wait, she kissed him. What the fuck. What the actual fuck?! Raphael turned bright red and tried to pull away, but she dipped him to deepen the kiss. All eyes were on me as time seemed to stop. I could feel their gazes piercing my back. I may be shorter than her, but my god I wasn't going to let this bitch get away with deep throating my man. I'm not a jealous person. I'm really not. But Jesus Christ, that is my man you're tongue fucking! I'm literally standing right next to him! My vision went red as time seemed to return to normal. I swung at her, but she grabbed my hand with hers, somehow holding Raphael up with just one arm. With a feat like that, I would normally be impressed, but I was too pissed off to care. She pulled her tongue out of his mouth and looked at me. I could see my reflection in her large eyes. My gaze was hardened and stony, if I was on the receiving end I would run. This 'Mona Lisa' instead asked, "Is something wrong?"

I forced a smile, "That happens to be my man you're tongue wrestling. I exclusively own the rights to his mouth, not you." I looked at Raph, who seemed to be unsure of what to do. He lay stiffly in her arms until his gaze met mine and he stood up while wiping his mouth from the sloppy kiss. Mona Lisa looked confused before realization dawned on her.

"Oh. I see." She looked mournful, "I apologize for acting so quickly, I had just assumed..."

Raph wouldn't make eye contact with me or her. There were a few moments of silence before Donnie finally coughed to try and get someone to talk. Leo took the initiative.

"So uh... Why are you here? Last time we saw you were with your commander and fighting off Dregg."

She seemed to become increasingly depressed. "That's why I'm here."

"Hey uh, we should really go to the lair to talk. You never know who's listening..." Donnie suggested. So off to the lair we went. As we ran there Raph kept trying to get my attention but I ignored him trying to think of when he mentioned a Mona Lisa in his past love life. As far as I remembered he never had. I gave him a look that silently said we'd talk when we got back.

We arrived rather quickly and I parted from the group by heading to the dojo. I climbed into the tree and leaned back against the wood. He stood below me. He looked determined instead of nervous like earlier. "So who is she?" I asked.

"Are you mad?"

I sighed, he didn't answer my question but I guess I'd relieve his worries first. "Not at you. How could you have known she was gonna stick her tongue down your throat? I'm just mad it happened is all. Don't worry I'll get over it. Now can you tell me who she is"

"I met her while I was in space-"

"Obviously, she crashed in a spaceship."

"Are you going to let me tell you the story or what?" I waved my hand out to let him continue. "Alright, she was one of my ex's." I went to say something smart alec but he cut me off, "Except we never broke up."

"Wait, what?" Was he cheating on me?! I felt anger and adrenaline course through my veins, I was gonna kick his ass!

"No no! It's not what you're thinking! We were fighting the triceratons in space again! This gross insect guy named Dregg had just made her betray us and we were trying to escape, except Dregg double-crossed her! He said he wouldn't invade her planet but he was lying and when she realized she came to help my brothers and I escape. A few months later she got relocated to work on Earth so she could be with me, but then she got called back into space for an Emergency like a month later. The last thing she said was she loved me and then she had to leave. I never saw her again until today I guess. I had moved on by the time we got back together"

I processed what he said. That meant Mona Lisa hadn't realized Raph moved on, she thought he still loved her. Oh, the poor girl! I mean, I can't be mad at her if she didn't know, right? I wanted to be mad, I really did, but when I realized she must be broken hearted my anger melted away. 

"Raph you never tried to contact her again?" 

"Uh, I mean I did try a few times, but she was so far away it didn't work, the signal kept giving out when I tried to call so I just gave up. I thought she was dead if I'm being honest..."

"Oh my god, the poor girl's been in love with you this whole time. Can you imagine the heartbreak she must've felt just now!" I felt bad for trying to punch her lights out now! 

"Wait Cas, are you trying to make me feel bad for not being into her anymore?" 

"Huh? No, no! I feel bad, I tried to murder her face when she just didn't know! Actually thinking about it you should've tried harder to contact her if only to break up with her."

"What! Wait, so I am in trouble?" He looked super annoyed, and I really didn't appreciate the tone either.

"Just a little yea! You should've tried to at least break up with her!"

"Cas, I just said I couldn't contact her!"

"You're telling me Donnie, one of the most intelligent people alive, couldn't figure out how to help you talk to her?" He kept stuttering as if trying to come up with excuses. Eventually, he came up with one.

"I don't even know how to break up with someone!" I just stared at him, apparently the excuse was a shitty one.

"Really, Raph? I think that's the biggest load of bullshit that's ever come out of your mouth." I dropped down from the tree and stalked towards him. "You're telling me you didn't climb into my hospital room after I nearly died and you didn't break up with me? Is that what you're saying!?" He winced at that, but I was pissed. He's just making up excuses and his last comment was absolute bullshit! 

"That's not what I meant! And besides, do you have any idea how hard it is to break up with someone, how much it hurts the other pers-" I cut him off.

"Hah! Wow okay. Sure Raph. I can't imagine what it must be like to be dumped, to feel unwanted by someone you deeply care about. Nope, not a clue!" I slowly stepped towards him with each word. With a venomous smile, I looked into his eyes, "It's not like you ever hurt me like that."

I watched as his nostrils flared and the veins in his neck started to stick out. He was getting angry. Good! "Would ya fuckin' let me finish my sentence! Jesus Christ! I'm trying to say I couldn't break up with her, I didn't know how!"

"What the fuck are you talking about! You didn't seem to have a problem with it the first time we dated!" Why didn't he try harder, or at least tell me earlier! It doesn't make sense. Suddenly, I realized what was happening and my heart shattered into a million pieces. "You still have feelings for her." It was a whisper. 

"What? Cas, I can't hear you when you mumble." He didn't look impressed.

I balled up my fists, "YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER!" He took a few steps back as I jabbed my finger at him, "You can't do it because you missed her!" He looked scared. I nailed it. "Hah! Haha, hahaha." I felt tears come to my eyes. Of course! Of course, he would like her, she's just like him! She can understand him in ways I never could. That's why he never said anything to her about me. That's why he didn't stop her from kissing him earlier! 

"Y/n," His voice was soft. He tried to put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I growled and ripped myself away from him. I hugged myself to try and keep my pieces together. "I get it I guess. Why would you want to be with the sick girl who could keel over any time now? How could a measly human understand how the great Raphael feels, right?" I shook my head and he just watched me imploding. He reached out towards me and I sprinted out of the dojo with tears streaming down my face. 

"Angelcakes," Mikey called out. I didn't turn around, I just wanted to get out of there. I made it back to my apartment and collapsed onto my couch, grabbing a pillow and sobbing into it. Could just one thing go right for me; is that really too much to ask from the world? I fell into a restless sleep.

When I woke up, the first thing I saw in the dimly lit apartment, was the sunset. I must've only been out for awhile. Sitting up slowly I looked out the fire escape window and saw several pieces of paper taped to my window. The hell were those doing there? I went to stand up and grab them but the room spun around. "Woah girl, steady there. Try not to fall..." I opened the window and took the letters down. How long had I been out for? I went to my phone only to find it dead. How could it die so quickly? Plugging it in and waiting for it to turn on I saw three days had passed and there were a ton of missed calls and 117 missed texts. "Holy shit..." I whispered. I chucked the letters onto my coffee table and ripped open my pills, popping one in my mouth. When I turned around I saw blood all over the couch. I groaned. Nothing was going to go right was it? I went to close the window and was met with three turtles waiting outside.

I yawned, "Hey guys what's up?" Gotta pretend I didn't just find out the love of my life is still in love with a space lizard.

"What. The. Fuck." Mikey looked pissed. Uh oh, if Mikey was mad something had to be seriously wrong

"What did I do now?" I was a little annoyed, am I not allowed to be upset with Raph?

Leo yelled at me. "You don't answer calls or texts, you weren't home and we've all been worried!" Oh, that's all.

"Why didn't Donnie just track my phone? And I was too home! I was laying on the couch, it just has its back to the window." 

"I couldn't track your phone because you turned it off." I did? Huh, odd. I didn't remember that.

"Listen guys, I've been asleep okay? I've been right here on the couch asleep for three day-" I coughed and blood dribbled down my chin.

Mikey pat me on the back, his eyes full of sympathy I didn't ask for. "Don't look at me like that, like I'm broken. I could still kick your ass." He smiled and went to lead me to the couch but froze when he saw all the blood.

"Uh, guys?" 

"What is it, Mike- oh my god." Leo stared at the couch, "How are you still alive!"

Donnie rushed over to see what was wrong and looked from the couch to me. "No wonder you were out for so long! You were unconscious from blood loss!" Oh, that would explain a lot, like the dizziness. Speaking of which I wasn't feeling too hot.

"bathroom," I muttered.

Leo looked at me, "What?" 

"BATHROOM!" I sprinted there and threw up. I hadn't eaten in three days so all it was dry heaving. It didn't help calm my stomach.

Leo called to me through the door, "We're taking you back to the lair."

"No."

"I'm sorry, what?" He looked taken aback that I would just outright tell him no.

"I'm not going back."

Donnie tried to reason with me, "Please, you're sick. You've lost a lot of blood and we're all worried about you. If you come to the lair I can give you a blood transfusion and monitor your vitals. It'll make us all feel better." I hate when he's right.

"Fine. But I'm taking a shower first." I smelled like blood, vomit and a bit of sadness; there's no way I was going anywhere looking like a hot mess. I barely made it to the shower I was so dizzy but when I did I think I took the quickest shower of my life. I came out of the bathroom with clean clothes and feeling a little better. I had only cried in the shower twice so there's an achievement. Looking around I saw the guys standing by the window with a few bags of my stuff. "How long are you thinking of keeping me, Dr. Donnie?" 

He started to chuckle until I got closer, then he looked concerned. "Until you aren't so pale," What was he talking about?

"Guys, seriously I'm gonna be fine-" No sooner were the words out of my mouth than a dizzy spell overtook me. I grabbed onto the bookshelf to try and steady myself but I missed it and fell forwards, nearly bashing my head on the hardwood floor. Luckily Donnie caught me before it happened.

"Dudes that was too close..." Mikey whispered to his brothers.

"We need to get her back now," Leo said. Donnie and Mikey nodded in agreement. before we all climbed out of the window and into the rain. I hadn't noticed that earlier. The noise of the rain was deafening, thunder roaring every so often and lightning lighting up the sky and my environment. With each flash, I could see the worry on Donnie's face. I heard Mikey shout something to his brother, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. Why? I focused on the sky until we were underground. I started to fall asleep as we entered the lair, then Donnie's lab. I felt a cold hard surface underneath me, then a needle in my arm. Was this the transfusion? How did Donnie know my blood type? And how did he get a hold of blood in the first place? I'll have to ask him later. I'm so tired. Sleep time. 

I was barely asleep when an annoying voice started screaming. I tried to ignore it, I really truly did, but they wouldn't shut up! I felt so tired yet I managed to open my eyes. He was screaming at Donnie with his back to me while April was holding my hand, her head leaning on my makeshift bed. Mikey sat reading a comic and Leo seemed to be meditating. Casey was nowhere to be found and neither was that Mona Lisa chick. I sat up and shot him a dirty look. Donnie caught my gaze and his eyes widened. Raph noticed his younger brother not paying attention to his incessant babbling and turned to see why. His eyes widened and mouth hung open.

"B-Babe?!" 

"Raphael, shut the fuck up before I tear out your tongue." I passed out again.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
No One's POV:

Mikey started cackling, Leo snorted, and Donnie had a small smile on his face as he checked her vitals. Raphael just stared down at his girlfriend, or should he say ex-girlfriend. He wasn't sure hat was going on anymore. Mikey's laughter brought him back to reality.

"OH MY GOD! DUDE SHE- AHAHAH!" He wiped a tear from his eye, "She woke up just to yell at you!" April started snickering.

 

"That's just like her. Wake up long enough to fix the problem then crash again. During naptime, she would always yell at the kids talking so she could take a nap in peace."

Raph wanted to laugh, cry, and be mad all at once. He was relieved she was okay enough to yell at him, and yea it was funny but why was she so pissed off! She never even gave him a chance to explain himself better. He hadn't had feelings for Mona Lisa for a few months before he and Cas tried to date again. He didn't break up with her yet because she had just crash landed, he hadn't had a chance when she had forcibly kissed him. Then she stormed into the dojo and then he thought he was safe only to be yelled at. He was scared she was going to kill him with the finger she kept jabbing at him. And then when he had tried to calmly explain, she had jumped to conclusions! He left notes on her window to try and explain but now she was here in the lab to heal because she hadn't taken her pills. Her words echoed in his head, "Why would you want to be with the sick girl who could keel over any time now?" Then the next time he sees her, she's almost dead thanks to the shitty disease. How great for him. 

"She's going to be fine Raph. She sat up so quick, all the blood must've rushed to her head and she kind of knocked herself out again." Donnie put a hand on his brother's shoulder to comfort him. He felt bad for his brother, their friend was pissed at Raph again and this time it was serious. He just hoped she wouldn't break up with him again. The last time was so awkward.

"How much longer until she wakes uppppp," Mikey whined. He was getting impatient, Cas had been asleep for almost a week now. He knew that was way too long, even for a human. Donnie had said she should've been up a few days ago. Mikey thought it might have something to do with the disease.

"It should be soon, right, Donnie?" Leo looked at his taller brother hopefully. He wanted her to be okay too. They all did.

Donnie read the monitors he had around their friend. "I think so. She's clearly not in a coma since she just yelled at Raph and all, and all her vitals are fine so I don't know why she's still sleeping."

April decided to speak up. As (Y/n)'s best friend she knew the answer and it really was an easy one, "She just really likes to sleep. Give her another hour then try to wake her up." Donnie nodded and unhooked her from the IV.

"Screw that!" Raph roared and grabbed his girl. "Wake up already dammit!"  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Your POV.

There it was again. The voice, I'm gonna kill him I swear to god. I forced my eyes open.

"Shrek? Is that you?" I asked. Of course I knew it was Raph but he was pissing me off and I knew that'd make him mad. I heard Mikey snort loudly then burst into a fit of giggles. His brothers and April followed suit. "I smelt onions on your breath as you screamed in my face. I just assumed with the green skin and all." His family had to leave they were laughing so hard, Raph, on the other hand, looked ready to explode. Sorry, not sorry. He was about to say something, then held off. I swung my legs over the side too quickly and my vision started to go black. Shit not again! I started to fall back until Raph wrapped an arm around me. I felt my heart flutter but I reminded myself he loved someone else. That hurt me enough to get it to stop. My vision cleared and I removed his arm, "Don't help me, you've done enough to last a lifetime." He stood there surprisingly silent. Good. I was getting tired of his voice. I shakily stood and walked towards the bag I always keep my pills in, opening the cap and swallowing one of the blue capsules. 

"Can we please just talk?" It was barely a whisper, but had the impact of a shout.

"I don't know what there is to talk about. You've made yourself very clear-"

'How could I have made myself clear, when you won't let me talk to you!" He was whisper yelling at the start but with each passing word had grown louder. 

"I have too let you speak! You tried to explain and failed miserably, so what? You want another chance?"

"You barely let me explain! Just five minutes! Is that too much to ask!?"

"Yes!" I turned to walk away.

"So, this is it huh? You're gonna pull a classic Raph and not even let me explain? This is gonna be just like last time and I don't know about you but I don't want to wait another three years to be forced into the same room as you again so we can make up." I stood there clenching my fists. I was mad at him for pulling this card but deep down I knew he was right.

"Fine. Five minutes. Now start explaining."

"Did you read the letters I left?"

"Oh those were from you? No I didn't. I was passed out and dying on my couch sorry." If he had hair I'm sure he would be about to pull it out of his head at this point

"I explained everything in them!"

"You've got five minutes remember? Are you really gonna spend them getting some dumb letters?" 

"Okay, I have rough drafts here!" He sprinted out of the lab and came back a few seconds later. He thrust one of the three in my hands. "It's not as nice as the one on your window but it'll work"

Writing letters definitely wasn't like him, what could he possibly have in this letter? I opened it and began to read.

"(Y/n),

Watching you walk away was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. I wanted to explain myself but I knew you wouldn't want to listen since you're as stubborn as me, which is really saying something." There were a few crossed out lines after that before it continued, "When Mona Lisa landed I was surprised to see her because I was pretty sure she was dead. The transmission signal we used to use was dead, gone. It was the main one for her ship so I couldn't try to communicate with her. I had tried everything to get a hold of her but nothing worked, that's why I couldn't break up with her. I didn't know how to get ahold of her." There were more crossed out lines. I tried to read them but all I could make out was an "I'm sorry," so I kept reading. " When I said I don't know how to break up with someone I meant it as in, how to break up with someone properly. As in a way to let them down easy. The first time we broke up I was mad and hurt so it was easy for me to just lash out and act rashly, with her I wasn't mad. I thought she was dead. How do you break up with someone you can't talk to? You can't. I stopped missing her about a year ago. I remember because it was the same day we had broken up two years before and I was too busy missing you to even think about her. I had always missed you on our anniversaries. After that, I was more like myself. Less moping around, I stopped seeing her face everywhere, I stopped dreaming about her. And then you came home to us, came home to me. I can promise you, I've never once thought about her while we've been together. Don't tell Lameonardo but I did a lot of soul searching to make sure I was put together again before I confessed how I felt to you. 

Love,

Raphael"

I tore myself away from the paper feeling very stupid. I really hadn't given him a chance to explain himself, had I? I was too mad at him to let him say anything. I looked at him with tears in my eyes. 

"So uh, are those happy tears, angry tears? I'm trying to figure out if I should hug you or run." 

"You're so stupid!" I yelled and hugged him tightly, my tears streaming down my face. He hugged me back just as hard and smoothed my hair as I whispered apologies to him. We stood there like that for a few minutes before I finally pulled away.

"Why you gotta be so bullheaded?" he asked.

Sniffling, I wiped my eyes. "I don't know...."

"It's okay, I still love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! This story has hit over 2,000 reader here and 12,000 on quotev for a total, 14,000 readers! That's amazing! I want to write a special chapter for it but I need to know if you want it to be pure NSFW smut with Raph or fluff and lighthearted. It's up to all ya'll. Leave a comment for which one you want! Have a great day!


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